A Rose By Any Other Name
by Real Gals Hav Curves
Summary: Lies started their relationship. What will happen when the truth comes to light?
1. Chapter 1

A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME

By

RG

**CHAPTER 1 – YOU?**

Sitting around doing nothing was so boring. Well it could have been worse he could have been cleaning up the vomit that some kindly patron had left in the bathroom stall. Thankfully now that he had a steady teaching job he didn't have to work for his brother anymore; though he still pitched in whenever required.

When the hell would they land up? He had Papers to grade

Meet and greet the new guy Ugh! He hadn't even met the guy but he definitely hated him already. He hated anyone who kept him waiting.

Why was Gregor making such a big deal about some random guy?

Okay, he wasn't just some random guy.

He was Charlie Schneider's nephew.

Charlie Schneider his brother's silent partner was getting married. So she had decided to hand over her share in No Limits to her nephew who had finally returned to Düsseldorf after 6 long years at sea.

Oh brother if he was anything like Olivia; even a teeny tiny bit like that brunette bimbo Christian would definitely strangle him.

He turned around when he heard Gregor greet Charlie

"Hey my Mann. So he's finally here and we can FINALLY sign some papers." Charlie said as she affectionately kissed Gregor on the cheek.

That lady was just so sweet. After the hard life that she had, she deserved the happiness coming her way. Finally able to get married. Christian felt happy for her. Sascha was a gem of a guy. If Sascha had swung his way Christian would have grabbed him in a heart beat.

Right behind Charlie entered Olivia dressed to the nines. Christian gagged and turned back towards the counter away from the unpleasant sight. He looked at Miriam and asked, "Why did **she** have to come?" as he rubbed his hand over his face in exasperation.

"I don't know. But I guess it may have something to do with your brother," the waitress smiled sympathetically at him as she wiped and stacked the coffee mugs.

"Here's the man of the hour now, Gregor my nephew Oliver Sabel,"

"I prefer being called Olli," a soft breathy honeyed but distinctly male voice said. It was so familiar, just like a voice he had prayed he'd never hear again.

Curiosity made him turn around to catch glimpse of the newcomer. The blood rushed to his head. He felt dizzy and grabbed the counter to steady himself. Christian couldn't believe his eyes. **That** was Oliver Sabel. Oh God No! Please No. Not him. Please not him. It couldn't be him. It shouldn't be him. Anyone but HIM.

**CHAPTER 2 – WHERE IT ALL BEGAN**

**6 years earlier End of May **

Christian was furious.

How dare Gregor do this to him?

His whole team had streaked their hair blue and red now he would stick out like a sore thumb during graduation.

They all had gone to the saloon and spent good money getting the streaks. But Gregor had taken one look at him when he returned home and dragged him back to the saloon to 'repair' his 'stupidity'. Now he had this horrible brown mop on his head.

He was seething when he entered the auditorium for his graduation ceremony and refused to acknowledge his brother's presence. But soon his anger vanished and he let out a sigh of relief when he saw half his team's streaks had faced the same fate. So Gregor wasn't the only one to freak out.

He smiled and waved at his brother as he went on the stage to receive his certificate.

The graduation party was in full swing

"Hey Mann so I heard you're headed to Düsseldorf College. Cool." His regular sparring partner congratulated him.

"Yah I was lucky to get the scholarship. So where are you headed?"

"I'm taking a break for a year to travel."

"Travel for a whole year!"

To a goal oriented Christian who had charted out his college and career plans way back in freshman year this 'traveling' decision was a little unfathomable.

"Yah backpack across Europe." the other boy said excitedly.

"Ummm." Christian bit back the snide remark that was on the tip of his tongue.

"How about you join me for one last sparring match at the gym tomorrow for old times sake," the boy requested Christian.

"Okay sure." Christian agreed. What harm could it do?

If he only knew what this sparring match would lead to.

**CHAPTER 3 –OH NO … NOT AGAIN ***_**Facepalm**_*****

Still out of breath from the exertion they headed into the locker room.

"No wonder you are the best in school." Kai said as he wiped the sweat off his face and chest.

"Well I've always believed in going for everything or nothing." Christian returned snidely as he took off his gloves.

"I've also always thought you're kinda hot." Kai said giving a crooked smile.

Christian looked at the other boy quizzically and finally said slowly

"Ummm… thanks for the compliment ... I guess."

Christian wondered if he should just skip the shower, put on his street clothes and make a break for it.

His sparring partner was staring at him with a strange gleam in his eyes. This situation was getting a bit uncomfortable. But before he could do anything Kai came to stand right in front of him and the boy's hand was on his shoulder

"You know I've always wondered …"

Kai curved his hand around Christian's neck and pulled him into a kiss.

Thoughts ran thru Christian's teenage head at the speed of light

*This isn't happening…. Oh boy he has soft lips…*

Instinctively his hand reached up and cupping the back of Kai's head pulled him in closer

*What the fuck am I thinking and ...doing…*

There was a thud and Kai was lying on the floor rubbing his jaw.

"Damn pervert…" Christian growled at him.

The young boxer grabbed his clothes stuffing them into the gym bag he literally ran out of the gym.

**Chapter 4 - No I'm Not! ... maybe I am... No I'm Definitely Not ... Maybe...**

*Damn that Kai. Damn him straight to hell.*

*Why the fuck did he kiss me? But he did have nice soft lips. Not to mention he definitely was a good kisser. *

Christian couldn't forget the butterflies it had caused in his stomach. But he wasn't supposed to like being kissed by a guy. Straight guys didn't like being kissed by other guys, did they?

So did that mean he was ...? No definitely not he was a boxer, a sportsman. He had the buffed body to prove it.

But that kiss...no girl had ever kissed him like that. Maybe Kai was just a good kisser, that's all. But the stubble against his face had felt so much better than the smooth soft face of a girl's.

This was just nonsense he wasn't gay... he couldn't be gay... he shouldn't be gay. Gregor would disown him if he turned gay.

No, he definitely wasn't gay.

Christian's shift was over so he left the café and was headed home when he saw someone

*Oh God! Kai is standing right across the street. Run Christian Run. Hmm he does have a cute butt. Why am I looking at his butt? Wow his boyfriend is quite a hunk. Get outta here Christian. You're thinking crazy stuff. YOU ARE NOT GAY. So stop staring at guys.*

He trotted off in the opposite direction and passed a group of men definitely headed to some club

*Oooo cute fuschia shirt dude. Hmm I always could identify color shades without difficulty. So maybe I am... don't even think about it. You are straighter than an arrow. Remember that...*

*That guy's aquamarine shirt sure was too loud. Arrrgh...*

Christian was over the moon. Now that he'd soon be a college student Gregor had allowed him to move into his own flat.

Okay so he had just moved across the hall to the flat that had recently been vacated by one of Gregor's tenants. But at least he didn't have to worry about Gregor always looking over his shoulder.

But his joy was short-lived as Gregor had ordered Christian to hunt for flat mates. Living alone in the four bedroom apartment was just plain stupid according to his older brother.

So here he was sitting at the dining table on his brand new laptop typing out an ad which he would then email to all the local dailies, put up on rent/lease sites and print out as well to put up at the notice board at No Limits and at cafes all over town.

_...20 m2 , in the city._

_If you're the right kind for a flat share_

_Non smoker, not gay..._

He looked at the last two words he had typed out

"Not gay ... How stupid is that?"

Just as he finished deleting the last two words a pop up appeared.

_**Are you feeling attracted to men even though you're a man yourself?**_

Christian stared at the screen intently wondering if this was an answer to all the questions that had been circling his very confused and muddled mind. He kept on reading.

_**Do you have feelings you can't talk to anyone about? Here's a place where you can chat anonymously with other people.**_

He scrolled to the bottom of the pop up

_**Click here and start chatting immediately**_

His cursor hovered over the **chat now** tab he wondered should he or shouldn't he. But before he could make a decision the front door was flung open and Gregor sauntered in.

Christian hurriedly slapped the laptop shut, in the process almost knocking over his glass of water.

"So you've typed out the ad?" his brother asked.

"Yah I was just going to do that." Christian said uncomfortably.

"What are you doing here?" He questioned Gregor looking at him intently.

"I ran out of deodorant. Have a hot date. Can't go smelling like a winery can I." the older Mann gave his little brother one of his blinding smiles.

"Mind if I borrow yours?" he asked

"Nope. Go right ahead." Christian said as he picked up the laptop and escaped to his new bedroom as Gregor headed towards the bathroom.

"Nickname?"

**"Gast ... 84"**

He wrote out a small introduction

**Hi! This is my first time on this site and I have no idea why I'm here. A guy I know kissed me a short while ago. Though I haven't had a girlfriend for sometime I've always been attracted to girls alone. But that kiss...Am I gay now coz I can't forget about being kissed by a man?**

He typed it up read through it once more and put it up online. He got up from his study table to turn on his CD player. As he hit play simultaneously his laptop beeped indicating that someone had responded to him.

"Message from Halunke - what kind of name is Halunke(rascal). Well whatever."

He read on

**Halunke: Hey, Gast84. You couldn't come up with a more impersonal nickname, could you?**

**Gast84: Well I was looking for a name that was as neutral as possible.**

**Halunke: and you can't forget being kissed by a man. Perhaps you should start by forgetting about these gay-straight, black-white stereotypes. Maybe you're simply attracted to another human being.**

**Gast84: to be honest with you: I no longer know what I'm feeling right now. I tried telling myself that I found the kiss totally disgusting, but now whenever I think of that kiss I feel totally confused.**

Halunke was sympathetic to his dilemma he offered advice and their friendship grew online. Christian felt very close to his faceless friend who himself was in love with a straight man.

He saw Kai a couple of times after that but didn't have the courage to approach him and was thankful that the other boy kept his distance.

**Chapter 5 - New People**

The hunt for room mates was a success. The subsidized rents seemed to attract quite a few hopefuls but finally Gregor settled on three he thought would be best suited to keeping his younger brother company. His choices were: Judith a second year architecture student, Constantine a third year journalism student and Lydia a child service worker. They would be moving into the flat share within the next week.

They would cramp his style but at least they weren't family. Most importantly hopefully they wouldn't enter his room without knocking which was what Gregor usually did.

But who cares about room mates he had more important things to worry about.

There was no getting out of the dinner. Locking himself away in his room was a choice but who could resist the food that Gregor had laid out as welcome feast for his new tenants.

The first to arrive were Judith and Constantine. Lydia called to inform that she would be late as something had come up at work.

Gregor took one look at Judith and whispered in Christian's ear, "Hey so I see you'll have a girlfriend soon."

"I don't think Constantine would like my hitting on his girlfriend." Christian retorted back discreetly pointing to the man sitting beside Judith.

"Not to mention she's older than me." he informed his brother

"Hey! older women are sexy." Gregor chuckled

"The ex-escort would definitely think so. Wouldn't he?" the younger man snidely remarked.

Gregor used to his brother's juvenile comments didn't take offense and just ruffled the boy's messy hair messing it up even more.

He instead said

"Come on eat up and be off to bed. You have the early shift at the café, don't you?"

Reminding him of his job his older brother now concentrated on entertaining his new tenants.

**Chapter 6 - Advice, Proof ... Discovery.**

**...**

**Halunke: Maybe you should choose another tactic. Try and find out what you really want.**

**Gast84: Aha, ...and how?**

**Halunke: That's quite simple: Kiss the guy again.**

**Gast84: Are you kidding me? That's just really daft.**

**Halunke: That's not crazy at all. This way you can solve your problem once and for all. Afterwards you'll be completely sure. Either the kiss leaves you cold and you look for a girlfriend or it's hot like the first time and there no longer is a "maybe".**

**Gast84: If I just kissed him to find out that'd be just wrong, coz I don't have feelings for him other than as a friend. **

**Halunke : Not to question your noble mindedness but maybe you're just afraid.**

**Gast84: I'm not afraid and anyway I can't kiss him even if I was attracted to him.**

**Halunke : Why?**

**Gast84: Thing is he's already left the country. **

**Halunke: Are you that bad a kisser that he fled the country! **

**Gast84: No, he's backpacking across Europe with his boyfriend.**

**Halunke: Well, then do the opposite.**

**Gast84: Opposite?**

**Halunke: Yah, go on a date with a girl. Kiss her and see if there are sparks, then you can be sure it was a one time thing.**

**Gast84: I'm not talking to you.**

**Halunke: Why?**

**Gast84: Your advice worked.**

**Halunke: Then why are you angry.**

**Gast84: Because you proved it.**

**Halunke: Proved what? What happened?**

**Gast84: I went on a date with this really hot girl.**

**Halunke: Okay.**

**Gast84: We had a great time.**

**Halunke: So what's the problem?**

**Gast84: I kissed her.**

**Halunke: And fireworks?**

**Gast84: Nothing, Nada, Zilch. It was like kissing my sister.**

**Halunke: Well that's a good thing isn't it?**

**Gast84: How is that a good thing?**

**Halunke: Now you're sure. So it's a good thing isn't it?**

**Gast84: How can my being gay be a good thing?**

**Halunke: Did u just insult me?**

**Gast84: No.**

**Halunke: I'm gay. Does that make me a bad person?**

**Gast84: Of course not. You're a great guy. I just ... guess I need time to get my head around it.**

**Halunke: Take all the time you need this ****is**** a ****life changing**** discovery. It was for me. So take it one step at a time, and I'm right here to help you in anyway I can.**

**Gast84: Thanks.**

**Chapter 7 - An Alliance ... a beginning.**

*_Where are you? Come online, come online_* Christian sat staring at his screen. He couldn't wait to talk to Halunke.

Judith snuck up behind Christian and looked at the webpage.

She smiled. Bending down she softly whispered in his ear "So I was right. You are gay."

"Judith! ... Oh My God!" Christian almost fell off his chair in fright and embarrassment.

Judith grabbed his arm to steady him.

Christian just stared at her misery written all over his face.

"Nobody knows." He whispered and gulped in fear.

"So you're keeping it a secret." Judith deduced.

Christian nodded and looking up at her implored

"Please Judith, I'm begging you. I just need a little time. I'll do anything in exchange for your silence."

"Okay. For a thousand euros I'll keep my mouth shut."

Christian's was stunned, he sat frozen and just stared at his new flat mate.

She giggled, "I'm just joking. I may be a woman but I can keep my mouth shut."

"Nobody can know. Well I'm still trying to figure everything out."

"I understand," she replied.

"But I don't think anyone around you will have any problem with it."

"No, Judith not yet. I want to be completely sure before I tell anyone. Especially Gregor can't know."

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." The girl gently smiled at him

"So who're chatting with?"

"An awesome guy who has been damn helpful with my confusion."

"About?"

"If I am gay or not?"

"So you're not sure if you swing the other way."

Christian just kept staring intently at his screen.

Then said shyly "Well... I'm almost... completely sure now. But I still have a few doubts."

"So this chat friend he's a great guy. Huh?"

"Yah."

Judith then pried,

"How do you know he isn't an axe murderer?"

"He's too nice to be an axe murderer." Christian instantly became defensive

"Then maybe he's the Düsseldorf jogging park strangler."

"I don't think so." The boy got even more peeved by his flat mate's this comment.

Judith realized that Christian was on the verge of blowing up so decided to opt for a new tactic.

"Christian you don't even know what the guy looks like." She said gently.

"Do you think I should ask him for a picture of his?" he looked at her intently.

"Duh... of course." Judith rolled her eyes, men could be just so dumb sometimes.

Then she said "There isn't a dearth of perverts out there. On the other hand you never know; he may be the man of your dreams."

"Yah! right." Christian scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"You never know he maybe; either way having a look at his mug doesn't hurt does it. But don't send yours before you've had a look at him. We don't want a 400 pound trucker chasing you across Düsseldorf, now do we?"

They both laughed at the ridiculous image that emerged in their collective minds of an extremely large pot bellied man with handle bar mustaches chasing him down the street.

Judith headed out to the construction site and Christian went back to his laptop. He was thrilled to see that Halunke had signed in by then.

**Gast84: Hey!**

**Halunke: Hi!**

**Gast84: so how was your day?**

**Halunke: it sucked as usual. **

**Gast84: what about ...?**

**Halunke: he made out in front of me with his girlfriend. How was yours?**

**Gast84: So so.**

Judith's suggestion was still circling his head and the curiosity was definitely killing him. SO...

**Gast84: After learning so much about you, I'd really love to know what you look like. Would you mind exchanging pics?**

He waited for Halunke's reply with apprehension.

The laptop beeped and he let out a sigh of relief.

**Halunke: Sure I don't mind. But you'll have to wait a bit while I find a decent one. But I'll send it only if you're sending your pic as well.**

**Gast 84 : I'm uploading mine as we speak.**

As the picture cleared Christian let out a whistle the man was gorgeous.

His laptop beeped.

**Halunke: Oh My! You're adorable. **

Christian blushed and typed back

**Gast84: Thank you. But I'm nothing compared to you. You're stunning.**

**Halunke: How old are you? 12! **

**Gast84: Of course not! I'm 18 I start college in a couple of months.**

**Halunke: So you have a name that goes with that adorable face.**

Christian almost typed out his name but then deleted it. Giving out his real name could be dangerous, the picture could be a fake as far as he knew. Judith's warnings popped up in his head - there was definitely no shortage of perverts.

He sat thinking and wondered how he should proceed.

Finally he struck upon the solution.

**Gast84: I'm Justus Berger. **

**Halunke: Nice to meet you Justus. I'm Florian Mansbrun.**

TBC

Picture that Christian sent

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Picture that Halunke sent

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**Chapter 8 - It's Just A Little Crush**

_It's just a little crush (crush) __  
__Not like I faint every time we touch __  
__It's just some little thing (crush) __  
__Not like everything I do depends on you_

_- Jennifer Paige_

**Chapter 8 - It's Just A Little Crush**

It had been three weeks since Christian and Florian had met online. Their friendship had deepened since the picture exchange. But now Florian was very depressed because the man he loved just couldn't reciprocate his affection which was understandable but on the other hand he was also being rude and generally verbally abusive to him.

Christian couldn't believe anyone could be so plain horrible towards a sweet guy like his chat partner but due to his lack of years he had no advice to give his online friend who was a good 6 years older than him.

Two days had passed and Florian hadn't contacted him even once.

Christian was worried for his depressed heartbroken friend on whom he had developed a crush.

Judith soothed him, saying, "He's much older than us. Isn't he? Maybe he's got work pressure so he isn't getting time to get online."

"Maybe you're right. But I can't help being a little worried. That asshole flat mate of his is giving him a very hard time."

"Don't worry he'll be back." Judith said kissing his cheek.

Constantine walked in right at that moment

"So this is what you're up to when I'm not around. You little shit." He almost pounced on Christian. Judith grabbed her furious boyfriend.

"Nothing happened Consti."

"Well kissing surely happened."

"Yah it did. But only because he's depressed."

"So you kiss depressed guys?" Her boyfriend seethed

"Yes, I do when the guy's boyfriend doesn't contact him for two days."

Constantine's anger deflated like a balloon. He stood opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish staring at the young boxer. When he finally found his voice he squeaked

"Boyfriend...? Christian you're gay."

"So? You got a problem with that?" the younger man growled challenging Constantine

"Oh No! No problem at all." he backed away, turning to his girlfriend he said smiling, "Judith you can kiss him anytime you want I don't mind at all."

"Gregor doesn't know." Christian informed his flat mate.

Constantine did a zipping motion over his lips

"My lips are sealed."

Christian sat staring at his laptop screen it had been 4 days and still Florian hadn't contacted him.

He was about to switch it off when he saw 'Halunke' flash onscreen and a IM flashed

**Halunke: Hey Justus. I was hoping you would be online.**

**Gast84: where have you been? I had been worried.**

**Halunke: my flat mate left with his girlfriend. So it's finally completely over.**

**Gast84: how are you doing?**

**Halunke: as good as can be expected.**

**Gast84: I'm sorry he didn't return your feelings. **

**Halunke: It's alright. It was just wishful thinking on my part.**

**Gast84: so what are you going to do now?**

**Halunke: first I need to find new flat mates as my other flat mate and I can't pay the whole rent on our meager salaries. **

He felt bad for Florian he wanted to do something. A thought popped in his head they had known each other for quiet a while so he went for broke

**Gast84: you wanna meet?**

**Halunke: Do you think that's a good idea? Why don't you just call me. Take my number - ******7201**

**Gast84: I'm dialing you right now.**

**Halunke: my cell is ringing.**

"Hey Justus"

"Hi"

"So do you like my voice?"

Christian listened to the low pitched husky speech

"You have a nice voice"

"Do you seriously want to meet me?"

"Yes, I do." Christian said eagerly, "but only if you're comfortable."

"I'm very comfortable," came the answer from the other end "how about Thursday at the Chuck Wagon Lounge. I hope you know where that is."

"Yah sure everyone knows where that is." Christian said enthusiastically

"So I'll see you there at say 7." came the response over the line.

"Sure it's a date."

They spoke for a few more minutes till Florian said he had to leave for work and got off the phone.

Christian was ecstatic. Maybe Judith's prediction would come true. Maybe Florian would turn out to be the man of his dreams after all.

All that now remained was to tell Gregor. But that could wait till after his date.

TBC

**Chapter 9 - WHAT A SKUNK!**

Christian sat staring into his 3rd almost empty glass of cola then looked at his watch for the hundredth time. It was 8 o'clock and there was still no Florian.

Great! he had been stood up and been made a complete fool of.

He paid for the cola and headed for the exit.

A hand suddenly grabbed his arm

"Hey! Where're **you** off to?" The voice whispered in his ear.

Christian turned and met the dazzling green eyes.

"I thought you'd played a prank on me."

"Sorry, I got caught up at work." Florian sniffed and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand.

Christian looked at the man - he had a day's growth of stubble, wore a crumpled psychedelic printed shirt over a lime green t-shirt and a pair of acid wash jeans. He looked like he had just crawled out of bed.

"Let's go to the bar." still holding his arm the man almost dragged him along with him

"What'll it be whisky, scotch, beer...?"

"A cola."

"You really are a kid! Come on let your hair down and get savage."

This definitely wasn't how he had expected Florian to be.

"No thanks! A cola is just fine for me." Christian said with emphasis.

"Your wish" Florian said flatly

Turning to the bar man he ordered "White Horse on the rocks for me and a coke for my friend here"

Christian stood nursing his coke and watched Florian down three drinks one after the other in quick succession.

"Let's dance." Florian now dragged him off to the dance floor.

Then instead of dancing with him he flirted with any guy who gave him a look.

Christian had, had enough "It was nice meeting you. But it's getting late I have to wake up early for work tomorrow."

"Oh, that's too bad. But promise we'll do it some other time again." Florian whined as he went off to dance with some random guy who was tugging at his belt loop.

Christian quickly escaped from the club.

As he headed home he couldn't believe what a huge let down this night had been.

Man that Florian was definitely nothing like he had imagined. He was definitely **not** going to continue **this** friendship.

**CHAPTER 10 - One More Try**

Next day his resolution wavered when he read the apologetic message a remorseful Florian had sent

_I'm so sorry for last night; I don't know what I was thinking. Please give me a chance to make it up to you. Please Justus I beg you give me one more try. I promise there won't be a repeat of last night's catastrophe. _

He consulted Judith about what he should do. She said there was definitely no harm in giving the guy one more chance but this time Christian should pick their meeting spot.

After a lot of hemming and hawing finally he called Florian to schedule their do-over date for the coming Friday.

This time Christian didn't have to wait instead he found Florian waiting for him at Green Sam's Café when he reached there.

"I decided to be early." Florian said apologetically.

"Hmmm" Christian acknowledged the man. He looked at the man in front of him and scrutinized his appearance. He definitely seemed different mainly due to the fact that this time he was sober and was better turned out. He had on dark blue jeans, a red jacket over a white T shirt and thankfully he had shaved.

"I'm sorry for getting drunk." The older man apologized

"Well... okay." He kept looking at Florian skeptically wondering if this evening would be a repeat of their first.

An awkward silence descended between them; broken only when they gave their dinner order to the steward.

They looked at each other wondering what to say

"You said..." Florian began

"Where do ..." Christian asked simultaneously.

They both gave a shy embarrassed laugh

"You go ahead," Christian urged.

"You're headed to college right?"

"Yes I am, on full scholarship" Christian informed proudly

"Oh that's great. So what are you going to study. Sports I presume as you're a boxer."

"Oh I'll definitely join the team but I'm majoring in Geography with a minor in teaching."

"SO you wanna be a teacher."

"Yah! I've always wanted to do that."

"I could never have the patience to manage squealing children." Florian laughed.

"Squealing children? I hope to teach high school. I had told you this in our chats."

"I guess I forgot. Sorry." Florian said uncomfortably.

Christian felt there was definitely something off about this guy. But then he squashed his paranoid thoughts the guy wasn't a computer that he'd remember every details of their conversation. He decided to enjoy himself. They fell into a comfortable banter.

**CHAPTER 11 - Just A Little Fun and Games.**

Christian enjoyed the dinner. After the initial awkwardness they had easily found the intimacy they had developed online. But he was sure Florian had a bladder condition as in a span of 2 hours he visited the men's room a total of five times.

"So you wanna get outta here?" Florian suddenly asked.

"Sure... Okay." Christian answered with slight hesitation. He definitely wasn't in the mood for clubbing but he didn't want the evening to end either.

Surprisingly Florian took him for ice-cream. They just strolled leisurely no particular destination in mind, talking and enjoying their sweet cold treats.

Suddenly Florian stopped in front of an apartment building

"I live here on the third floor. I just got a DVD of Triple X wanna watch?"

"Ja, Okay."

Christian realized it was just a ploy to get him into an intimate situation. But he was feeling adventurous so he didn't mind. He would definitely like to find out what kissing Florian would feel like.

Setting up the movie Florian visited the bathroom and then settled down beside Christian as on screen a man entered a club chased by some shady looking men and was then shot dead.

As they watched Vin Diesel onscreen Florian's hand slowly sidled up behind him and he gently caressed the back of Christian neck.

Christian was startled by the sudden touch. He looked at the man sitting beside him who gave him a gentle smile. Florian leaned over and kissed him. Christian's eyelids fluttered shut and he found himself pushed back onto the couch and his body being pressed further into the couch by Florian's weight on top of him.

The older man ran his tongue over Christian's lips demanding entry into his mouth. His tongue pressed against the boy's teeth and thrust past them into Christian's inner mouth.

Christian could taste his companion's spearmint mouthwash - so that's why he had made a beeline for the bathroom Christian surmised.

Christian felt a stirring in his groin and moaned into the kiss.

Breaking the kiss Florian got up, turned off the t.v. He pulled Christian upright and then pulled him to his feet.

He kissed him again and guided him towards the bedroom.

He kicked the door shut behind them his lips never leaving the younger man's even for an instant.

A hand slowly ran down the boy's chest heading towards his belt.

Christian felt the movement, jerking back he grabbed the exploring hand.

Florian seeing the apprehension now reached up and ran his fingers thru the dark hair. Christian closed his eyes and leaned into the tender touch. Florian kissed him again. when they parted Christian gazed into the mossy eyes and felt a little emboldened. He proceeded to slowly unzip Florian's fiery red jacket. He pushed it off the older man's shoulder as Florian pushed them both onto the bed.

**CHAPTER 12 - What Just Happened? ... As If You Didn't Know!**

Christian was overwhelmed by the sensations coursing through his body. He watched Florian intently as he kissed a path down his chest. Simultaneously the raven haired man unbuckled his young lover's belt and then yanked off his pants so that they were lying skin to skin.

Florian reached into the night stand drawer and took out a tube. Then he reached into a dish kept in the drawer and popped something into his mouth. He kissed Christian, the literally sweet kiss was a new experience for Christian.

Florian had put a candy in his mouth and was kissing him. During the kiss he felt the candy slip into his own mouth.

As his former chat partner licked a path down the center of his chest Christian started to feel light headed. Who would have thought just foreplay could make you giddy.

Florian had a very artistic mouth was an understatement.

Christian startled when he felt a slippery finger invade him.

"Shhh it's alright." Christian calmed and tried to focus on the face of the man hovering over him. He blinked a few times but his vision stayed blurred.

He felt a second finger join the first one...

*Oh that hurt. That definitely hurt a lot!*

"That's it love. It's done. There ... It's almost over." a husky voice whispered in his ear.

Sweat broke out all over his body as sensations he had never felt before took over.

His fingers dug into his lover's sweat slicked back, he held on for dear life when he felt like he would shatter into a million star-flung pieces. He felt a sting on his neck but as his eyes rolled into his head it didn't have time to register.

Christian floated back to consciousness after the intense experience. He cuddled into Florian's body and rested his head on the older man's chest, idly caressing his lover's skin as it cooled. Florian wrapped an arm around him, his fingers lightly stroking Christian's hair.  
Raising his head he looked up into the serious green eyes and said shyly "Halunke, being with you felt wonderful."

Florian gave him a ghost of a smile whispering back "Same here Gast84." Setting back his head on the lean chest Christian was lulled to sleep by the strong heart beat thrumming in his ear and the hand still gently stroking his hair.

He never heard the jingle of a cell phone nor did he feel his companion slip out from under him. The older man got dressed as quickly as he could. Placing a gentle kiss on the sleeping boy's temple he whispered, "See you in the morning _kleiner_," and left.

**CHAPTER 13 Oh Shit!**

Christian woke to the sound of the clatter of dishes and running water.

He rubbed his eyes.

He was lying naked, alone, in a strange bed. His body aching at odd places.

He sat up and felt a little woozy which was odd as he hadn't had anything stronger than the mocktail at dinner.

He focused on his surroundings.

The events of last night came back to him in flashes.

Why couldn't he remember it clearly he wondered.

He looked around and saw no sign of Florian.

A crisp hundred euro lying on the night stand caught his attention.

*Florian was definitely careless. Who left money lying around like that?* He picked up the note and slipped it into the drawer of the night stand.

Dressing himself he peeked out the bedroom door which creaked when he opened it.

A woman with wild brown hair washing dishes at the kitchen sink turned around and gave him a disgusted look.

"Thank God ya've got up. Now get lost, ya're work is done here," she said in a high pitched sneer.

"Where's Florian?" He asked slowly.

"Off somewhere. What's it to ya? He left yar payment didn't he? So now get lost."

"If ya've forgotten the door's thataway."

She pointed with a soap suds covered hand.

Then screeched "Get. Out!"

Christian fled the scene. What the hell had he done?

He tried Florian's number it just kept ringing... **there was no answer.**

**Chapter 14 Could It Get Any Worse?**

Christian sneaked into the flat share and literally ran to the bathroom. He stood under a hot shower scrubbing himself thoroughly, trying to wash off all evidence of the previous night. The throbbing in his head also slowly dissipated under the warm water

Wiping himself dry he slipped on a pair of track pants he found in the dryer.

He picked up his tooth brush opening the cabinet he took out his tube of paste. Spreading paste on the bristles he put the brush in his mouth.

Returning the toothpaste to it's usual place he shut the cabinet then wiped the mist off the mirror, which was a bad idea as he was assaulted with a vision of himself.

He saw the angry blotch on his collarbone and a bruised bite mark on his throat. The brush slipped out of his mouth, clattering as it hit the bowl of the wash basin. He trembled as the full impact of his activities of the previous night hit him with the force of a crashing train.

His legs felt like they were made of jello and couldn't take his body weight any longer. He almost collapsed to the floor and sat leaning back against the supply cabinet under the basin. He hugged his knees to his chest and pondered his actions.

He had slept with some random stranger.

He had let himself be coaxed into a sexual encounter by a man he knew nothing about.

The candy that Florian had slipped into his mouth had definitely been a roofie.

Worst of all he couldn't remember if they had used protection.

He buried his face in his knees and sobbed.

That is how Judith found him

"Christian...?Oh My God Christian? What happened?"

She sat down beside him on the cold tiled floor and pulled him into her arms

He looked up at her, his eyes red and swollen; his face tear streaked.

"Last night ..." he couldn't go on.

"Oh God! sweetheart." she assumed the worst and hugged him tighter, tears filming her olive green eyes.

Swallowing the lump lodged in her throat she whispered hoarsely

"I'll get Gregor and... we have to call the cops."

"No..." Christian almost screamed.

"We have to if he ..." she couldn't even say the word.

Burying his face in Judith's shoulder he mumbled

"No, he didn't force me. But it **was** a one night stand. I can't remember if we used anything."

"You have to tell Gregor." Judith said forcefully. "He has to know."

"How am I supposed to tell him? He'll disown me."

"No, he won't. He loves you too much."

"But I did something so ..."

"Gregor loves you and he will stand by you through thick and thin."

"No, I won't tell him."

"You have to tell him you're gay. You have to be honest about yourself.

"Okay I'll tell him that I'm gay but no chance that I'm telling him about my reckless stupidity."

"Well that's up to you."

Silence descended as Judith soothed him rubbing a gentle hand down his back and he drew strength from her maternal touch.

"Judith will you come with me to the clinic." He mumbled

"Are you feeling sick?" she asked alarmed

"No...but ...I have to get myself checked out after last night..."

The visit to the doctor was an extremely awkward and embarrassing experience for Christian. The doctor lectured him for a full fifteen minutes handing him one pamphlet after another; then instructed him to go through a battery of tests, over a period spanning the next few months, to find out if he had contracted any STDs and get himself tested for HIV as well.

Judith sat with him through all of this; his rock, a steady source of support.

He didn't even realize it but from that day forth he now had a new protector - Judith.

**Chapter 15 - My Brother The... I Don't Believe It ! ... The Coolest Ever!**

"I'm so sorry Gregor, but I can't keep our today's appointment. Family Emergency." Charley's apologetic voice said.

"I completely understand Charley. We can go over the monthly accounting another time. Go take care of whatever it is with an easy heart."

"Thanks a lot Gregor. I knew you'd understand." Charley's relieved and grateful voice came down the line before the connection was abruptly cut.

As he put the receiver back in the cradle Gregor wondered who in Charley's family needed her so much that she had cancelled their appointment. A business woman like her, had till that day always put her work first. Well family was, after all family. He thought of his younger brother **_his_** only family. The boy seemed to be in a tizzy at the moment. God knew what was eating him? Christian had never been so secretive before. He stayed locked up in his room for hours nowadays. Heaven knew what he did in there. Well he was growing up so he definitely needed his privacy to do - things.

Christian watched his brother ring up the day's earnings.

No Limits his brother's business venture. Gregor's pride and joy had just completed six months that day.

Gregor looked so elated he might just float away like a cloud.

He had a purpose in life. A solid source of income. He would never again have to sell himself to fill his and his brother's stomachs.

Christian would never forget the muffled sobs he would hear emanating from Gregor's room many late nights after he would return home from 'work'.

His brother had provided him with every luxury and the best education. Gregor deserved his honesty but the shame that Christian felt did not allow him to make a clean chest of things.

"Gregor can we talk?"

"Sure champ." Gregor smiled at him as he washed and stacked glasses.

"I think you should sit down,"

Gregor took a seat on one of the bar stools but continued wiping the glasses.

"This will come as a huge shock to you. I don't know how it happened but..."

Gregor went completely still as he waited for his brother to complete his sentence

"But _**What**_?" he coaxed

"Please don't hate me." Christian whispered in fear.

"Christian you're making me very scared. Please get to the point. Just spit it out."

"Gregor ... I think I'm gay."

"You _think_ you're gay." Gregor asked cocking an eyebrow and put down the glass he had been holding since his brother had started speaking.

"Noooo ...actually I'm pretty sure I'm gay." christian said and looked down at his feet.

"Is that it?"

"Yah, that's it." Christian slowly peeked up at Gregor wondering what was coming next

Gregor let out a relieved breath and rolled his eyes. Leaning back against the bar counter he rubbed a hand down his face then smiled.

"You almost gave me a heart attack, you little shit! I thought you were going to tell me you crashed your new bike or got some girl in trouble."

"But Gregor I'm **gay**." Christian said with emphasis.

"So?" Gregor asked and pursued his lips

"You don't care?" the boy stared at his brother with disbelief.

"No, of course not. Gay, straight or bi you'll always be my brother. Now, if you'd told me you were growing a pair of horns and a tail then...maybe I would have run off screaming."

Gregor suddenly laughed and shook his head

"No wonder! You never noticed those two girls who keep throwing themselves at you. This definitely clears up that mystery."

"Who are you talking about?" Christian was completely puzzled

"The Siamese twins you work with." Gregor informed him

"Nico and Coco!" Christian was flabbergasted.

"Ja, you never noticed, did you?"

"I just find them annoying that's all."

"Oh! They're totally into you." Gregor said with a crooked smile.

Christian just gagged.

**CHAPTER 16 - Whatta Shock!...NOT.**

"Hey Christian! You're late. We were missing you _sooo_ much." The girl chirped making Christian cringe.

"I don't even wanna know why. Okay." He said sternly hoping they'd let him be.

"Come on. Where can you find such pretty colleagues who are ready to do anything for you."

"So you'll do anything for me?" he asked skeptically

"Yup, anything." Coco said in a voice which she thought was sultry but only sounded squeaky.

"So how about ...leaving me alone."

"Christian what's with you? Every guy wants to pick us up and you don't even give us a second glance." Nico trilled.

"Well you're just _**not**_ _my type_." The object of the girls' interest informed them coldly.

"We're not your _type_?" the girls chorus in shock.

"_Completely_." Christian told them annoyance dripping in his tone

"We're pretty, we're sexy, we're great in bed. What else can any guy want?" the frizzy haired girl quipped.

"Oh Ho! What this guy wants neither of you has." Christian informed smirking and pointing at them.

"What don't we have?" they chorused

"You **_don't_** wanna know." The boy countered smiling as he stacked the serving trays.

"Oh we do. We definitely do. Bigger Boobs maybe?"

"No."

"Bigger Ass then?"

"Oh No."

"I can get you anything I'm rich you know." The girl said preening in pride.

"Definitely not money." Christian spat out making a face at Nico.

"Then what?" the pair whined in curiosity.

"You both _really_ wanna know?" Christian said narrowing his eyes.

"Yes, we do." The girls eagerly nodded their heads.

"A dick." He said and grinned

"What?"

His grin growing bigger he repeated

"A dick. I'm gay I like guys." and waggled his eyebrows.

The girls just bolted.

Christian giggled as he watched the two suddenly become very busy serving the very few customers who sat and then run off to the storage at back of the café to bring supplies which weren't really required.

_My brother__  
__My brother is my keeper__  
__My brother is my best friend__  
__My brother is my pain__  
__My brother is my hero_

_He is my keeper__  
__My keeper that feeds me__  
__That helps me make decisions__  
__He is were my home is__  
__He will take a bullet, or knife__  
__To throat__  
__He is my and all ways will be my keeper_

**_- anon_**

**CHAPTER 17 - My Brother ... Oh Brother! HE'S PISSED!**

Christian picked up the morning paper and a men's sports wear catalogue fell out of it. Curious he flipped through it and his eyes accosted a picture of a high end ski suit which made him drool but then it also sent a shiver down his spine because the model wearing it was none other than Florian. In anger he flung the catalogue across the room and let out a loud snarl which had Judith come scurrying over to him abandoning the floor plans that she was drawing up.

"What ... what's wrong? Are you alright?"

"Yeah! I'm just peachy." He said a wide smile on his face as he flung out his arms.

His smile just as quickly vanished and he growled in frustration "When the fuck are those test results going to come?"

"They'll have them ready soon enough." she soothed.

"Judith what if...I'm..." he lowered his head resting his elbows on his knees he covered his face with his hands.

"Everything will be alright I promise."

"But what if it isn't. What if...?" he mumbled throw his hands

"Then we'll deal with it. You have Gregor, Constantine and me. We'll all be here for you. No matter what." Judith calmed as she patted his back.

August had rolled around, college had started and Florian had never contacted him again. So it had all been about sex and nothing else.

Well life moves on and so would he. He shut down his online account. He deleted the picture and any other trace of _**that**_ guy from his hard drive. But his brain, from that he couldn't delete the man he lost his virginity to. The colour red would always bring back those memories, atleast the hazy ones he could recall of that night. With time maybe he would forget. But at 18 he felt heart-broken. Like Romeo pining for his Juliet.

"Christian the clinic called they want to hand over your test results." Gregor informed him

"Okay, thanks." Christian swallowed in fear watching his brother.

"What tests Christian? You had your yearly check up in March."

"Just some fitness tests."

"Sanctioned by the college." Gregor coached

"Y...yes...yes ... sanctioned by the college," the younger Mann stuttered out the lie vigorously nodding his head.

"Christian you can't lie worth shit. So don't even try. Now out with it." Gregor sternly commanded as he came around the bar counter and grabbing his arm dragged him upstairs to his own apartment.

Gregor couldn't believe his ears. His face reddening as his brother slowly and in great detail acquainted him with the _**things**_ he had been up to over the past couple of months.

"WAS? Had you _**completely**_ lost your **mind**? How could you be that reckless?" he blasted then slapped him on the back of his head for effect.

"You went and slept with just some guy you met online."

"I know it was stupid." Christian whispered hanging his head in shame.

"_**STUPID**_? It qualified as _stupid_ when you sent him your picture and then gave him your phone number. Christian the rest that you did... was downright bloody _**DANGEROUS!**_ He could have murdered you and sold your organs."

"But he didn't...he just fucked me and left." He returned in an emotionless tone

"Yah, he did. Didn't he? He could have had AIDS for all you knew. For that matter he could have had any of the various STDs." Gregor ranted

Christian looked up at his brother eyes blazing

"You think I didn't realize that. I have been undergoing all the tests and I've many more lined up for the next year or so."

Gregor sat quietly for many long minutes digesting all that his brother had confessed to him; about the antics he had indulged in.

Finally he got up and declared -

"We're going to find him."

"No, Gregor." christian was horrified by the proposal.

"Oh Yes! Definitely. And when I find him he better run for his life."

Christian stared at the passing buildings and finally recognized the one they were searching for. He pointed towards it.

Gregor pulled up to the curb. They got out of the car and Gregor asked him to confirm

"Is this where he lives?"

"Yah, on the third floor."

"Then come on." He headed into the building followed by Christian.

The flat door was opened by the same woman he had been accosted by the morning after, but she was dressed and looked more pleasant. She smiled at them politely.

"May I help you?," she asked cordially

"We're looking for Florian Mansbrun." Gregor said in a soft cold tone.

"I'm sorry he doesn't live here anymore." She answered hesitantly a tinge of fear colouring her voice.

"Is she the one you saw the last time you were here kleiner bruder?" Gregor questioned still staring at the girl

"Yes," Christian whispered.

"Oh God! Oh My God! You're that guy I shooed out. Aren't you?" she stared at Christian in recognition as he nodded dumbly.

"Florian is gone. He won't be coming back." She said fearfully, addressing Gregor.

"He better not if he knows what's good for him. Damn **pedophile**." Gregor snarled the last two words.

"Oh Lord! Oh God No!" The girl paled and leaned against the door frame for support. Then whispered something under her breath which sounded like *_Bern knows_* or *_Bern has to know_*

Gregor turned and grabbing Christian pulled him to the elevator.

"Come on we're going to the clinic to pick up your test results."

As the elevator doors closed and it started it's descent Christian questioned his brother.

"Why did you call him a pedophile? I am already 18. I'm an adult."

"Firstly, what you did wasn't very adult. Secondly, the girl there will definitely pass on this bit of information, though false, to her buddy."

"What will that achieve?" Christian quizzed frowning.

"He won't dare show his face in Düsseldorf ever again." Gregor hissed a furious scowl contorting his features.

The pieces of paper all indicated that he hadn't been touched by anything. The next many months were the toughest. Gregor kept him under constant surveillance. His phone and net activity was closely monitored by Gregor and in his absence by Constantine who was just as appalled by Christian's behaviour. So now he had a second older brother equivalent who chewed out his ear for being a complete reckless idiot. Judith was his haven from the constant glares that were directed towards him by the two older men. She bent the rules for him and gave him a little breathing space. But in front of her boyfriend and landlord she was the dutiful adult keeping the unruly little one in line.

**CHAPTER 18 - Is It YOU?**

He snapped back to the present when he felt a hand on his shoulder shaking him.

He turned around to face his brother and Florian ... no, Oliver Sabel.

"My brother Christian Mann."

"Christian, my new business partner Oliver Sabel."

"Olli please." The man requested.

"Nice to meet you Olli" Christian said with a cheerful smile as he extended his hand to Olli.

The new comer stared at him for a good few seconds before taking his hand and giving it a firm shake.

"Nice to meet you too." Olli whispered shyly and quickly retreated to rejoin his aunt where she stood with Sascha.

Gregor sniffed the contents of Olli's glass

"Hey this has no pick-me-up to it."

"It's my favourite virgin Electric Shock." Olli informed him

"This is a lounge bar man live a little."

"I wish I could but liquors don't agree with my system." Olli said apologetically

"That's too bad." Gregor sympathetically patted him on the shoulder and moved away to mingle with the other guests.

"You were a bartender on a cruise liner. Now you're part owner of this snazzy place and you don't drink?" Rebecca chirped in.

"Well, fashion designers don't wear their own clothes; now do they?" Olli dryly quipped pinning his green glare on her over the rim of his glass.

"You definitely have a point there." The girl giggled in embarrassment and scuttled away to literally hide behind David, away from the piercing green gaze.

Christian observed the whole scene and began to have doubts. This definitely wasn't Florian; the guy drank like a fish at their disaster date.

The dinner at Schneider's was pleasant. Olli spoke only when spoken to and preferred to just observe his surroundings as if filing away every bit of information that he could.

Christian caught Olli intently staring at him. The older man quickly averted his gaze blushing furiously.

Christian was sure he must have definitely been mistaken. This courteous, painfully shy man was nothing like that guy he had met more than half a decade ago. Most of all Olli had an air of fragility to him and a sense of quiet dignity completely unlike his one night stand who had been cocky and at times a bit crude.

Christian snapped out of his ponderings when he suddenly heard Gregor say

"So you need a place a stay. Stay with Christian you'll get along marvelously."

"I don't want to impose." Olli said softly

"Oh, No imposition just pay me rent by the tenth of each month."

"He maybe my brother but he demands rent from me as well." Christian informed the table. But his eyes never left Olli, who gave him a shy smile.

"How soon can I move in?" Olli enquired.

"Any time would be great." Gregor informed him.

Christian switched on his laptop. Opening one folder after the other in quick succession he reached a folder titled 'Where Are You'. Opening it he stared at the items in it then clicked on one to open it - a picture. A picture that he had once undeleted and hidden away. Though the man he had met tonight in behaviour may have been a far cry from his ex-chat friend and first love. It definitely was him; Older, Healthier, Shyer but it was definitely him. He would be moving in next week. Should he just tell Gregor. Nah... why stir up **that** particular hornet's nest. It was all in the past and it didn't seem like Florian...no Olli had recognized him. Maybe they could become friends and he could maybe on a later date get his own back on the man. Christian fell asleep plotting an apt revenge a devilish smirk on his angelic face.

Chapter End Notes:

The previous chappies 2-17 they were a flash back that Christian had while he sat at the bar at No Limits after catching a glimpse of Florian who he now knows is Olli (Oliver Sabel)

The Christian Olli is looking at .

**CHAPTER 19 - Oh Boy*facepalm*...Here We Go Again...Or ...Do We?**

Christian smiled at the auburn haired woman as she entered No Limits and headed right for him.

They hugged tightly before the tiny woman gave him a smacking kiss on his mouth.

"Hey babe! How was the vacation to the Bahamas?" Christian enquired

"Fantabulous." She answered cheerfully as they headed up to the flat arm in arm.

Olli stood at the bar counter and watched the pair as they kissed. So Christian had a girlfriend. *_She's definitely a catch_*, he observed.

Olli felt a twinge of jealousy; he wished **he** had a boyfriend to hug and kiss him the way Christian hugged and kissed the pretty brunette girl.

Olli sighed deeply and rested his chin on his hand resting his elbow on his accounts binder.

"What's wrong?" Anna asked unable to miss his deep sigh.

"Oh! Nothing." he answered dully.

"Boss, it didn't sound like nothing."

"Well kiddo you wouldn't understand..." he said and opened the binder to avoid any more questions that his employee may have.

"Oh! Sure Grandpa!," Anna rolled her eyes and went off to take an order from the customer who was waving towards her.

"Our new boss is totally crushing on Christian." Anna whispered to Miriam as she handed the drink order.

"That's nothing new. Everyone crushes on that hunk. Even I wasn't spared." Miriam informed her colleague sheepishly.

"Same here," Anna replied and both giggled as they watched Olli let out another deep sigh and keep staring at the stairwell through which Christian had just exited.

Olli liked his he loved his new room.

After the tiny cabin he had been living in for the past four and a half years this place was a palace. He methodically unpacked as Christian brought in the last of the boxes containing all of Olli's earthly possessions.

Olli admired the straining of the jacket as it tightened over the blond man's broad shoulders and biceps as he put down the box. He was definitely gorgeous. If only Christian swung his way. But the girl who he seemed to be spending most of his evenings with was glaring proof that Christian was straight.

*_Why were the best ones always straight_*, Olli wondered.

They fell into a comfortable routine but usually didn't have time to socialize with each other. So even after living together for over a week their interaction was limited to casual greetings and informing each other when and what groceries needed to be bought.

Olli had one morning accidentally seen Christian in the shower through the parting in the curtain and couldn't help but stare at the Adonis in front of him. He had quickly exited but his heart hadn't escaped the assault.

Olli put his clothes in the washer then realized they were too few for the amount of soap powder he had already dumped in, so he picked up Christian's clothes and put them in as well.

He carefully folded and neatly piled Christian's clothes. Making sure that Christian wasn't in his room he crept in and put the stack of clothes on the bed. As he turned to leave, his eyes fell on a stack of books on Christian's table. He approached the table and picked up one to peruse the title. It was a copy of Jeffrey Archer's 'Honour Among Thieves' he looked at the rest of the stack and realized that they were all copies of Jeffrey Archer's works. Christian even had a copy of the newest titles Prisoner of Birth and Paths of Glory. He wondered if Christian would allow him to borrow them.

"What are you doing in here?" an angry growl behind him broke into his thoughts.

Dropping the book he whirled around to meet the blazing blue eyes.

"Nothing." he whispered in fear and gulped.

"Snooping! Huh! Herr. Sabel, this isn't your ship where you can wander anywhere you like. This is my home. Now get out!" Christian spat at him.

Olli swallowed in fear and hurried out of the room closing the door behind him.

"Damn Asshole!" Christian hissed.

He ripped off his jacket and flung it on his chair. As he proceeded to yank of his shirt and fling it on the bed his eyes fell on the bed and his brain registered the items on the bed - a stack of his freshly washed and ironed clothes.

**"SHIT!"**

Friend I will remember you

Think of you

Pray for you

And

When another day is through

I'll still be friends with you.

_-John Denver_

**CHAPTER 20 - Time Heals ...and Provides a Companion.**

'You're such an asshole' Christian berated himself.

He had just gone and made a complete idiot of himself.

He entered the living room, coming to stand by the sofa he watched Olli cook.

"Olli, ...Thanks and ...I'm sorry." Christian said awkwardly.

Olli startled and looked up at him. Seeing the questioning look in the green eyes Christian clarified, "Thanks for doing my laundry and ...Sorry for yelling at you for no reason."

"No, I'm sorry I should never have entered your room without permission," the older man said apologetically.

"Well I am just very ..." Christian began to explain.

"I understand," Olli interrupted him. "I shouldn't have invaded your personal space. I would have had the same reaction. It won't happen again," He finished.

Christian stood watching his flat mate as he stirred the contents of a pan. Shuffling his feet he wondered what olive branch he could offer and then it struck him,

"I saw you looking at something on my study table when I came in." he said.

Olli looked up

"Yes, I was looking at your collection of novels. I love to read but haven't had much of a chance on the liner."

"You can borrow which ever one of them you like." Christian offered.

"Thanks. I promise I'll take them only when you're home."

"No, you can take them any time. I just overreacted. Sorry." Christian gave him an embarrassed smile.

Christian watched the steam rising from the pan then suddenly Christian stuck his nose up and sniffed the air.

"That smells good. What are you cooking?" he asked approaching the kitchen counter

"It's just pasta and a stir fry."

"Can I have some?" Christian requested, almost begged, eyeing the pans sitting on the stove, hoping that Olli would give him a positive answer.

"Sure! I think there's enough for two." Olli offered an amused expression softening his face.

*Ooooo Mr. Mann I think I just found your weakness.* Olli smiled at Christian as he filed away this bit of new information about his flat-mate.

"We're outta beer," Christian exclaimed staring at the interiors of the fridge. "I'll go and get a couple for us from downstairs; you set the table in the mean time." He said shutting the fridge

"Just get one for yourself I'll have the orange juice." Olli told him.

"Don't worry you won't get drunk on just one. You'll be quiet sober for your shift." Christian teased.

"It doesn't matter if it's only one. Christian, I don't drink, period. Alcohol just doesn't agree with my system." Olli informed him forcefully.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." the younger man quickly apologized.

Olli looked at the crest fallen face of his companion and shook off the memories that had been dragged up.

"It's alright. You didn't know." Olli said in a gentler tone.

Then said to lighten the mood " I'm used to questions and jokes. Can you imagine being a bartender and never drinking. I was the butt of jokes all the time on the liner." and smiled at Christian

"How did you handle that?" Christian asked him curiously.

"By becoming head bartender as soon as I could. Nobody makes fun of the boss."

"That's so true."

Both men laughed

Christian decided to have orange juice as well. After all it was healthier for him.

Where... When... How a friendship might blossom is difficult to gauge.

Sometimes you find yourself making friends with people you had already decided you could only hate.

Christian was surprised when he realized that that's exactly what was happening between him and Olli.

Though he had made up his mind to hate the man; after the laundry incident he found himself drawn into a friendship with Olli. It was difficult not to seek companionship with someone who shared his interest in books; and it was even harder to resist the food which was cooked from scratch and not the canned variety.

Olli watched Christian eat dinner. He suddenly realized that in the past week since Christian's blow up, he had been cooking for both of them instead of just for himself.

The fact that Christian loved to eat was an understatement.

Olli enjoyed watching Christian polish off his preparations with relish.

It was nice to have a friend again.

Yes, they were friends but only friends; hoping for anything more was a recipe for disaster. He had let his brains be in charge this time and focus on the harsh reality of his situation.

He couldn't risk building castles in the air again. He had let fantasy take over his common sense once before.

Which had eventually led him to do something criminal when his fantasy had been shattered. He couldn't risk falling into that old pattern.

He had a business now, people depended on him for their livelihood.

**CHAPTER 21 - Sunshine On My Shoulders Makes Me Happy**

The night was hectic.

No Limits was not just crowed it was overcrowded.

And shockingly it was a Wednesday night. A night which usually brought in the least business.

Olli had planned to put his feet up and watch 'Send Me No Flowers' airing that night on TCM a huge bowl of popcorn and a large coke his only companion.

Unfortunately Miriam called so he had to drag himself away from Rock Hudson and Doris Day; to go and attend to the unending line of patrons.

To make matters worse Gregor had taken Luise out for dinner to a fancy restaurant code for - I and my wife are indulging in hot sex and to top it all Anna had called in sick on this inopportune evening as well.

At his wits end Olli finally had to request Christian for help.

He watched Christian mix cocktails and serve the customers with practiced ease. He couldn't help but day dream as he watched Christian - arrange the filled glasses on the tray, lift the serving tray, saunter across the room and bend to place the glasses on the table in front of the customer, the last action giving Olli a better look at the man's shapely butt.

Twice during the course of the evening Christian caught him staring and gave him a friendly smile.

*Olli control yourself* he rebuked himself pushing away from his mind all kinds of inappropriate images involving Christian, a bowl of juicy strawberries and a dish of melted dark chocolate.

"Those asses at table three are driving me nuts, they refuse to pay unless **you** take the bill to them. They said I didn't add up their tab correctly. But I did it correctly, I swear." Miriam complained.

"Calm down. I'll take care of it." Olli said patting the frazzled girl's cheek as he picked up the bill folder and headed to the table.

The man disgustingly flirted with Olli as he and his companion surveyed their bill.

"By the way I'm Ricky," the man said holding out his hand, lecherously surveying Olli from head to toe his gaze lingering at his groin.

"Nice to meet you Rick." Olli out of politeness extended his hand and found it grasped in a clammy meaty paw.

"Why don't you join us and we'll order another round," the man invited a potent message in his tone.

"Sorry, I can't" Olli answered turning down the offer with the force of a door slammed shut.

"I was sure you were gay." the man said raising a questioning eyebrow.

"I am. But as you can see I have a business to run." Olli answered with a polite but bored smile.

"Come on, I'm sure you can spare a little time for old Ricky," the man said lecherously.

"I wish I could but my employees need to be kept under constant surveillance or they slack off which is bad for business, not to mention my reputation." Olli's patience was running low.

"Oh, come on just a few minutes."

"Sorry. Maybe next time." He said steeling his voice.

"Come on," Ricky said forcefully giving Olli's hand, he held trapped, a squeeze.

"Please let go of my hand," the club owner commanded as he tugged at his hand to free it.

"Come on sweetheart you n me could be fireworks," the man wasn't easily dissuaded

"Please I'm asking you politely." Olli said as firmly as he could without being out-rightly rude to the customer.

The man surveyed his surrounding and saw Christian arms crossed at his chest glaring directly at him with a dangerous expression on his rigid face, so he let go of Olli and spat out.

"Okay! Whatever! But you'll regret it."

He flung the money at Olli and left.

Christian watched the men leave and approached Olli as the older man put away the money in the cash drawer.

"Are you alright?" he asked carefully.

"Yah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" Olli replied looking at him quizzically.

"No particular reason." Christian muttered and went back to prepare the next order.

Olli let out a low whistle as he added up the night's earnings.

Christian looked over Olli's shoulder and whistled as well.

"That's pretty good considering it's a Wednesday night." the blond man observed.

Olli nodded in agreement.

"So you need help closing up." Christian offered.

"No, go back to your grading" Olli answered, then added as Christian headed towards the stairs "And Christian thanks for helping tonight"

"No problem. I had to, after all this place is my brother's as well," giving Olli a gentle smile he headed up the stairs.

After bidding his employees goodnight Olli stacked the few remaining glasses and cups on their appropriate shelves.

As he wiped down the bar counter he smiled to himself and sang along with the Black CD he is slipped in.

_Here I go out to see again __  
__The sunshine fills my hair __  
__And dreams hang in the air __  
__Gulls in the sky and in my blue eyes __  
__You know it feels unfair __  
__There's magic everywhere _

_Look at me standing __  
__Here on my own again __  
__Up straight in the sunshine _

_No need to run and hide __  
__It's a wonderful, wonderful life __  
__No need to laugh and cry __  
__It's a wonderful, wonderful life_

His life was truly Wonderful now.

After all the had done, the way he had made people suffer, he was thankful for this second chance he had been given.

Tonight he could say with conviction that he had truly left his past behind.

He had finally found a place for himself, a place where he fit in.

A place untouched by his sins.

He flipped switches in quick succession plunging the bar into darkness. In the glow of the stairwell lights he picked up the keys and approached the front door of No Limits to lock it.

Just as he slipped the key into the lock the door was yanked open.

**CHAPTER 22 - The Sun Eclipsed.**

The front door of No Limits was yanked open.

The lecherous customer from earlier that night strode in and growled

"Nobody says no to Ricky. What Ricky wants... Ricky gets. And Ricky wants you."

Olli was all alone with a man who definitely outweighed him by at least 60 pounds.

He backed away but his retreat was halted by a table the back of his thighs bumped into.

Ricky took the opportunity, grabbing Olli he pushed him back onto the table.

Olli struggled violently and let out a yell which was stopped halfway by the salivating drunk's mouth. Olli pushed at him but couldn't dislodge him so he scratched at Ricky's face and went for his eyes. Ricky just guffawed.

"A wild cat I see. I love wild cats. Go ahead fight me it only makes me hotter for you."

The attacker delivered a backhanded slap splitting Olli's lip and drawing blood.

Fisting his hand Olli went into attack. Ricky just casually swung back out of the way.

He trapped both of Olli's hands. Holding them over his victim's head with one humungous paw he unbuckled Olli's belt.

Olli screamed with all his might though he knew at this hour no one could or even would hear him. Ricky punched him in the face to silence him and got the desired result.

Olli felt the blood slowly drip down the side of his face from his bleeding nose and mouth as he stared up helplessly at his attacker.

Ricky effortlessly flipped him over and started tugging down Olli's jeans.

Olli kicked and struggled turning over a chair which made a loud clatter as it fell over.

Ricky grabbed him by his hair and slammed Olli's head against the table making him see stars.

Olli whimpered in pain.

If only he had accepted Christian's offer at helping in the clean up.

**CHAPTER 23 - Dark Night ...Armored Knight ...**

Finally the last assignment had been graded; Christian yawned and stretched.

Slipping the bundle of folders into his satchel he headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth before turning in for the night.

He had just picked up his brush when he heard what sounded like a yell.

Intrigued he came out to the living room. This time he heard a clearer guttural yell and it sounded like it was coming from downstairs.

He wondered if there had been a hit and run. Maybe the victim was lying outside on the street. Grabbing his keys he exited his flat and ran down stairs to help the hapless person.

But the loud metallic thud as a chair was turned over focused his attention to the dim interiors of No Limits. A break in was his first thought then as his eyes habituated to the dim light he saw something that made his blood run cold.

He bolted into the bar.

Grabbing the man he yanked him up and off Olli.

A struggle ensued but was quickly cut short by two well placed punches, the first teeth clattering one to Ricky's jaw and the second to his stomach; the knee in the groin sealed the deal paralyzing the animalistic intruder instantly.

Dumping him on the floor Christian twisted and held the now moaning attacker's arms behind his back then sat down on the man straddling him and trapping him completely.

Thanking his stars that he had forgotten to take out his cell phone from his pocket Christian dialed the police.

Olli slid off the table and collapsed to the floor.

He looked around horrified and relieved at the same time, his brain still unable to register the sudden turn of events.

He had been saved!

His guardian angel had sent a white knight to his rescue.

Hastily he re-buttoned and re-buckled his pants.

Still sitting on the floor he drew his knees to his chest.

He stared intently at a wine stain on the wall to wall rug as he waited for the police to arrive and tried to stop his body from shivering.

Once Olli's molester had been escorted off the premises, to be secured in prison, Christian firmly locked the door behind the exiting cops and let out a sigh of relief. That's when he noticed that Olli was nowhere in sight. The man had quietly slipped away after giving his halting statement to the inspector.

Christian quickly made his way up to the flat share to check on Olli.

But he wasn't in the bathroom or in his bedroom; Olli wasn't in the flat share at all.

Christian rushed back down.

"Oh Shit! Olli! Where the hell are you?" he whispered in panic.

He had just flipped open his cell to dial Charlie when he heard a soft controlled sob come from the back of the club.

Olli was sitting huddled in one corner of the big semi circular couch; hidden away from view by the link metal curtain.

Approaching he gently enquired

"Olli, are you alright?"

He saw Olli tremble and tuck his knees closer to his body trying to make himself smaller.

Christian sat down beside him and extended his hand.

Olli screwed his eyes shut and flinched as if expecting a blow.

"Olli it's just me. Come on let's go up." He said caressing the midnight dark hair.

"I swear! I didn't encourage him." the scared man said in a pathetic whisper looking at Christian with tears in his eyes.

"I know that! The sick bastard **attacked** you." Christian soothed.

"You believe me!" Olli looked at him utter surprise on his face.

"Of course! I believe you! I **saw** what happened!"

"Now come on let's go home and get you cleaned up." Christian said as he stood up and offered his hand.

Olli stared at Christian's sympathetic face and then at the extended hand.

Slowly uncurling himself he took the offered hand and stood up.

They walked towards the stairs together.

At the bottom of the staircase the hurt and terrified man looked down at their linked hands, and then up into Christian's concerned face. Embarrassed, Olli slowly withdrew his hand out of Christian's.

He slowly made his way up the steps to the flat share closely followed by Christian.

**CHAPTER 24 - Thoughts ... and a Conversation.**

Christian led Olli into the bathroom. As he took out the medical kit Olli sat down on lip of the tub.

After wiping away the blood Christian gently applied the antiseptic to the split lip and a cut on Olli's cheek. Ignoring Olli's flinch and hissed curses he checked it there were any breaks in Olli's nose.

"Hmmm. Seems to be fine. No permanent damage. Though you will have some marvelous bruising." He said carefully caressing the already darkening skin of Olli's cheek

Olli didn't give any response he just sat staring at Christian's face, especially at the clear blue eyes. They reminded him of another angelic blue pair that had looked at him with utter trust in them.

Seeing Olli's dazed expression Christian said playfully

"Okay My boy! Off to bed with you now."

Christian's words seemed to jerk Olli out of his stupor and he bolted out of the bathroom. As Christian picked up the soiled cotton swabs to dispose off he heard the slam of Olli's bedroom door.

There was some deep rooted damage in that man; that had been brought to the surface by that night's attack.

Olli tossed and turned in bed. Hoping for the oblivion of sleep. But his brain was too keyed up to allow him the luxury of sleep.

*_Is this what I'd done to _**_him_**_?_* he thought burying his face in the pillow and swallowed a painful scream when his nose came in contact with the pillow.

He angrily flipped over onto his back.

*_Oh God! I was so sick, I drugged him and then I ..._*

Slowly a tears slid down the sides of his face and wet the hair at the nape of his neck.

*_If only I knew where to find you .I would apologize to you. Though I know it would never make up for what I cruelly snatched from you._*

Finally, as the days events took root in his mind and he registered what he just been thru thankful sleep overtook his tired body.

As his eyes finally closed the last thought that ran through his mind was -

*_God waited for me to return to Düsseldorf before he punished me for my sins. I completely deserved what happened to me._*

Christian lay in bed and went over the events that had taken place that night and the things he had been witness to.

When he had first met Olli and realized who he was Christian had made up his mind to hate him.

But these past couple of weeks talking to him, after getting to know him he had realized that Olli wasn't really a bad person or if he had once been an unscrupulous dickhead, he wasn't that man anymore.

What had happened that night was horrible. How could anyone be such an animal. Poor Olli being attacked like that. The perverts like Ricky that populated the world should all be shot dead at point blank range he thought and seethed with anger. Because of people like him the entire gay population was clubbed under one umbrella as perverts and sickos who only knew how to take advantage.

Christian thought it best to keep his distance; which was easy as Olli seemed to hide away from him. Christian felt bad and he would have liked to know if there was something he could do to help. At least he could have lent him a sympathetic ear. But Olli just didn't seem to want to be in his presence.

Three days passed. Christian couldn't believe how good the man was at avoidance. In the morning when Christian would leave for work Olli's door would be locked. In the evenings Olli would stealthily slink away downstairs and after his night shift at No Limits would return only at dawn when Christian was fast asleep.

And when Christian went down there Olli would simply go and hide in the kitchen or suddenly decide to do the inventory and go off to hide in the storage locker.

Christian was back to eating canned food which after the meals that Olli had been preparing now tasted even worse than before.

Down in No Limits it was business as usual for Olli. The version that his employees knew was that there had been a break in and he had been beaten up by the thief but was rescued in the nick of time by Christian. Beyond that he refused to divulge anything else.

"You think it was only a break in?" Anna asked Miriam.

"No, I'm sure there's more to this than meets the eye. Just look at the way Olli is taking special care to completely avoid Christian."

"Then do you think Christian did that to him?" Anna was flabbergasted.

"I wouldn't put it past him. With that nasty temper of his anything is possible." Miriam explained.

Both girls' were eaten up with curiosity and they wished there was some way they could uncover the true facts.

"Olli sweetheart I just heard. Why didn't you call me?" Charley said as she cornered Olli at No Limits a few days later.

"Why? What would you have done?" Olli asked flatly.

Charley gently caressed the bruised cheek and forehead.

"Oh Schaetzchen. Is it true, you were ..."

"Yes, I was almost raped. Big deal. I most probably deserved it anyway." was the man's toneless answer.

"What? Are you crazy?" Charley scolded slapping the back of his head.

"Charley I should be in jail."

"But the boy never pressed charges." Charley countered.

"Yah! How could he? First of all I never gave him my real name. Secondly I wasn't in Düsseldorf when they came searching for me."

"It wasn't your fault. There were so many reasons."

"I was the cause behind all of it. Can we now please talk of something else?"

"Okay sure. Heard Christian was the one who saved you." She said a gentle smile lighting up her face.

"Yes, he did."

"He's a sweet boy, and quite good looking if I might add."

"You think I haven't noticed that?"

"Olli I'm only saying..."

"I know what you're going to say. Consider me warned. I won't let personal feelings mess up my professional life. This place is too important to me. I promise I won't let my feelings get the best of me."

"But Olli..."

"I know you think I won't be able to control myself. But I have changed. I'm not a junkie anymore so my brain rules my behaviour. He is safe from me. Please Charley just trust me."

"Okay, if you say so. I trust you." Charley answered a confused frown creasing her brow.

Charley couldn't help but think about how much Olli had changed in the past six years. The once aimless boy was now a very career oriented man. She felt proud of him.

**CHAPTER 25 - Food For Thought**

It had been five days since he had last spoken to Olli.

Christian sat preparing the notes for the next day's lecture when he heard the door of his flat open behind him. Expecting Gregor or Luise he turned around with a smile on his face and met Olli's intent gaze.

Olli slowly closed the door. Walking over to the dining table he took the chair facing Christian.

"I never thanked you for saving me." Olli said slowly looking down at the table unable to meet Christian's clear aqua gaze.

Christian just couldn't decide how to respond to that.

"I'm sorry for avoiding you for so long." Olli continued and finally looked up at Christian.

The pain he saw in those green eyes made him want to reach over and caress the bruised face. To stop himself Christian interlocked the fingers of both his hands in his lap and quietly responded,

"Olli personally I can't even imagine what you went through. So there's no need to apologize. As far as my saving you goes. Nobody messes with my friends." He gave his flat mate a small smile.

"Thank You." The older man whispered as he got up and retreated to his room.

Early next morning Christian awoke to the aroma of food.

He followed his nose and hurried into the living cum dining room. The treasure trove he discovered made his stomach growl.

As he reached out for one of the pancakes cooling on a tray placed on the dining table he heard a chuckle and an amused voice said,

"I think brushing your teeth before you eat anything is the norm followed all over the world."

He turned around to face a smiling Olli. But he was soon distracted by the sausages, eggs benedict and brötchen that sat on the kitchen island behind the man.

A firm hand placed squarely on his chest halted his attack on the food.

"Brush and shower first ... then food." Olli said smiling at him and pointed towards the bathroom.

Christian inhaled most of Olli's preparations within minutes of sitting at the table.

Olli watched in satisfaction as Christian ate. The boy sure had an appetite.

He wondered if this was the same boy he had ... during that ...

No, it couldn't be him.

If this had been Justus then Olli would have been locked up weeks ago.

Christian being straight was another reason that it next to impossible that he could have been that boy.

Neither did Christian look the type who would experiment.

He smiled at Christian, the guy was definitely easy on the eyes. Olli realized he was developing a crush on his flat mate. He'd been through this once before. He couldn't fall for a straight guy again.

Christian felt uncomfortable. Olli was staring at him again. Then he realized it was obviously because he hadn't complimented him on his cooking.

"Thif if piffy goof," the blond said.

"What?" Olli frowned trying to decipher the garbled words.

Swallowing his mouthful Christian repeated.

"This is pretty good."

"Thanks. I'm glad you liked it." Olli beamed.

Polishing off the last of the food Christian said

"Wow if you feed me like this every day I won't be able to fit thru the doors after a month."

Olli looked crestfallen.

"No, no please don't stop cooking. It's just that I have to eat in moderation. I have to stay fit for my upcoming bouts."

"I understand." Olli cheered up. "Fitness food is all you'll get from now on" he promised

Though their job routines were hectic Olli was glad for the time they shared during breakast every morning and at dinners the nights Christian did not go out to meet his girlfriend. Olli's heart was stuck on his blue eyed white knight. But Olli had decided he definitely wouldn't act on it. His heart wouldn't be able to take the rejection. So he was satisfied with the friendship that Christian offered.

With Judith back in Dusseldorf Christian was glad for the distraction she offered from Olli, he was able to wrangle dinner invites from her on a regular basis. His feelings towards Olli were definitely confused he was having a tough time with them. He wanted to ask him what had happened in the intermediate six years since their fateful night together. Judith had gauged that there was something wrong and asked him point blank but he had just demured and finally changed the topic.

After a lot of thought he decided to start from scratch that is ask Olli about his life as a whole from childhood till the present.

Christian found it difficult to break through his flat mate's quiet tight lipped reserve towards him. He had watched Olli chat up and flirt with his customers. He had surely bounced back very well after the horrifying attack. At No Limits he was the same old friendly, open and flirtatious Olli. But when they were alone Olli would clam up and every time Christian even tried to learn something about him Olli would expertly veer off the topic to something that dealt with No Limits or Charley's upcoming nuptials. Sometimes to put an end to the conversation altogether he would start talking about Olivia who he knew Christian couldn't bear even thinking about.

It was just frustrating that even after almost a month of living together he knew hardly anything about his flat mate other than some basic facts like he was born in Meppen, left his college studies coz he flunked his senior year and later worked for his Aunt before heading off to sea.

Particulars about him beyond his birth date were unknown to Christian, whether his parents were dead or alive? Where were they? Did he have siblings? All were a mystery to Christian.

The fact was Christian was once again mesmerized by Olli. He could feel long buried emotions that he had once had towards Florian, ... no Olli,... gah whoever had started to revive themselves slowly and steadily one day at a time.

Olli could feel his guard slipping. Everyday he felt himself falling deeper and deeper in love with Christian. It was definitely high time that he started searching for another place to live. He knew if he didn't leave soon he would definitely confess his love to Christian.

Olli sat on the blue sofa and looked at the listing folder the real estate agent has sent over. The listed flats were within his budget range. But none of them had everything that he wanted. If it had a spacious bedroom the bathroom wasn't big enough to put in a tub. If it had a spacious living cum dining room then it had a closet kitchen. Whoever said house hunting was fun had never bought a house themselves. He was confused by just looking at a listing which gave only skeletal information about the flats.

Olli put the folder back in his bag and let out an exasperated breath. Slowly he rolled his neck to work out the stiffness. Suddenly two large warm and soft hands started massaging his neck and shoulders. A warm voice near his ear said "Wow! You are really tense Olli."

Olli startled and turned around to meet the amused blue eyes. "Now sit still while I work my magic" Christian said with a smirk. He kneaded Olli's shoulder and slowly worked his way to the nape of Olli's neck. He repeated the actions a few times. Then Christian suddenly said, "This isn't working, I'm not able to do it properly. Take your shirt off."

Olli looked up at him and hesitated.

"Olli I have no ulterior motives. I'll just massage you. Trust me."

"Christian, of course I trust you." Olli tugged off his T- shirt and Christian continued with the massage.

*_Oh Boy! His hands feel good._*

Olli thought as he moaned his appreciation.

Christian massaged Olli with firm and sure fingers. He felt himself getting aroused. Why did he offer to do this? This sure wouldn't help him get over his crush on Olli. His eyes traced a path down along Olli's body , he admired the sinewy shape of his shoulders and strong back. His eyes followed the shape of Olli's spine to his waist and then backup to his neck. Olli leaned back and raised his legs and rested them on the coffe table placed in front of the sofa. Christian gazed at the arch of Olli's neck. Christian wondered what Olli would do if he kissed his neck, most probably punch him then charge him with assault. But he did have a beautiful body. He remembered the skinny boy he had met but this stud who he was massaging was a polar opposite.

Christian admired Olli's long legs encased in the form hugging jeans. His eyes traced a path from Olli's toes to his calf pas the knees to his thighs up to his ... His mind wandered and his imagination ran away with him

- to a secluded beach where Olli lay on a lounge chair a sparkling white towel across his waist. Christian slowly massaged his legs with scented oil.

Christian's hands massaged Olli's strong calves and slowly travelled up past his knees after he placed a kiss on each of them.

With measured strokes he kneaded Olli's thigh as he lavished a kiss on those sumptous lips. His hand made its way up Olli's thigh to ...

"Ouch!" Olli suddenly in yelped in pain, "not so hard please."

Christian snapped out of the x rated movie playing in his head.

"Sorry," Christian mumbled. His fingers gentled but his urge to kiss Olli only grew stronger.

After another 15 minutes of massaging, Olli felt much better and more relaxed. He thanked Christian for his thoughtful gesture. Putting his t-shirt back on Olli headed down to No Limits.

Olli bounded up the steps, he had a night off. Maybe he could cook something exotic for dinner there was enough time.

Unlocking the door he entered the flat.

"Shit!" he gave a whispered exclaim when he saw Christian cuddled on the couch with his girlfriend tucked in his arms.

He hoped to slink away to his room unnoticed. But the couple on the couch together turned towards him.

"Hey Olli, what are you doing back here so early." Christian asked

"It's my night off. I didn't know you had company. I'm sorry I didn't mean to disturb you and ..."

"Judith" the woman said between sniffles. Wiping her tears she got up and said "you must be Olli Christian's new flat mate." she extended her hand.

"It's nice to meet you," Olli said with as much cheer he could muster. He definitely hadn't wanted to meet Christian's girlfriend.

Seeing her distraught state he couldn't help but be curious

"If you don't mind my asking, but are you alright?"

"Oh I'm fine. Better than fine, actually I'm wonderful."

"Then why are you crying?" Olli asked with a frown.

"Tears of joy. I'm pregnant."

Olli heart sank to his stomach.

"Congratulations, to both of you." he said in a strangled voice looking at Judith and then at Christian before hurrying away.

Olli walked into his room and locked the door behind him.

*_Great! Just Bloody Perfect!_*

DEJA VU if there ever was one.

Why the hell had he ever come back to Düsseldorf?

History was repeating itself.

Unattainable straight man and Olli the fool falling for him.

He swallowed his rising scream. He gnashed his teeth and yanked at his hair.

He would have to move out as soon as possible.

Judith would soon move in and then have the baby.

Christian and she would be married...

**Chapter 26 - A Friendly Nudge Towards You**

"Did he just congratulate me? He did congratulate me as well as you, didn't he? I wonder what that was all about," Christian said completely puzzled.

"Is he gay?" Judith asked

"Yah! So?"

"Damn! You really are blind." Judith said giggling then asked "Does he know you're gay?"

"It never came up. Why?"

"Because he has a thing for you, and just now when I told him about the baby I'm sure he thought you were the father."

"What?" Christian spat out flabbergasted

"Yup," Judith confirmed.

"His gaydar definitely must be broken." Christian said rolling his eyes and shook his head.

"Not his fault that you could easily pass. I **had **told you **not** to wear only plaid and pastel shirts all the time." Judith quipped.

Olli heard the trill of the doorbell. The joyful voices and the laughter increasing his misery.

There was a knock at his door.

"Olli. Are you alright" Christian voice asked thru the door

"Yah I'm fine." Olli called out

"Come join us in a toast to the baby." Christian's cheerful voice invited.

Not accepting the invitation would be blatantly rude.

"Just a minute I'll be right there."

Rubbing his face he got up. Changing his clothes so it would seem that there had been a genuine reason behind his locking himself up, he left the sanctuary of his room.

Olli opened the hall door and just gaped at the scene in front of him.

The girl Judith was kissing a man with softly curling black hair as Christian stood grinning at the pair.

Hearing the click of the door as he shut it the couple parted and looked at him.

Judith beamed as she made introductions, "Olli meet my partner in crime, in other words my husband Count Constantine Von Lahnstein. Consti this is Christian's new flat mate, Olli."

Constantine gave him a warm smile and extended his hand.

Olli enthusiastically shook the man's hand and congratulated him heartily on the soon to come new addition to his family.

Olli's heart did a cartwheel. He wanted do a cartwheel. So she wasn't Christian's girlfriend and the baby wasn't his.

But that didn't change the fact that Christian the macho boxer was straight as they came so his happiness did diminish a bit again.

Meeting Christian's old flat mates was a delight. Olli could definitely hope to call them his friends if and when their acquaintance grew.

They all sat indulging in friendly banter their conversation flowing and ebbing easily when Judith suddenly laughed. "Olli you won't believe the amount of **people** who threw themselves at Christian during College. The girls were gaga for this guy."

"I can definitely imagine that," Olli agreed nodding his head but was unable to keep the bitterness he felt out of his tone as he stared into his coke then took a long gulp.

Judith smiled as she looked at him then continued

"But they all were disappointed. So were most of his suitors. Constantine you remember the persistent of the lot. Christian what was his name? Timmy? Right?"

"Timo," Christian corrected, "he followed me around for weeks. It was like having a puppy. If Serge hadn't taken a liking to him I would have definitely strangled Timo. He even followed me into the toilets sometimes"

The old friends all laughed

On the other hand Olli had almost choked on his coke when he was confronted with the new information. His ears pricked up and he hung on every word that passed Judith's lips next.

"Then there was Anton the skater, mutual break up" Christian nodded.

"next was Zapper now that was a messy one"

"Don't even remind me of him," Christian said with a look of utter disgust and shuddered.

Constantine too made a face, "That guy made my skin crawl. What were you even thinking when you hooked up with him?" the Count asked his friend.

"I have absolutely no idea. I think it had something to do with the fact that he was in a metal band. How was I supposed to know he was a crazy creep?"

"Well the first clue should have been when he started collecting your nail and hair clippings." Constantine replied

"Yah! He told me he had made an altar of worship dedicated to me." A look of shock crossed the blonde's face

"I was the happiest when his parents came and took him back to Switzerland for 'treatment'." Judith said "good riddance to bad rubbish. But this guy moped for weeks." Judith said looking directly at Olli.

Olli slowly digested all the information and sent Christian furtive glances.

"Ahh! and then there was your Prince Charming." Judith declared with a big grin.

"Oh yah, the American," Constantine said laughing. "Bradley. Call me 'Brad' like Brad Pitt," Constantine mimicked making his voice deep and sultry.

"Christian was already picking out his and his towels when suddenly Brad just up and left. Turns out he had a husband back in the States." Judith explained.

Olli's heart sang. And he couldn't help but grin like a fool.

Timo! Anton! and Bradley!

All men.

That could only mean Christian was - GAY.

So he definitely stood a chance with Christian.

As Olli regaled in his happiness Gregor and Luise arrived.

Hearty congratulations were passed on to the expecting couple. Toasts were made. But Olli's mind and eyes were only on Christian the rest of the world had just faded away.

When Olli finally zoned back into the conversation he heard Gregor say

"Now that you two are soon going to be on diaper duty what do you say to one last trip to the wilderness. A weekend at the cabin"

"That'd be great," everyone agreed.

Turning to Olli Gregor started in a beseeching tone

"Olli..."

"Don't worry have fun. No Limits will be fine. I... "

Judith interrupted Olli's assurances

"Gregor why don't you close No Limits for the weekend. I'm sure your employees wouldn't mind a little time off."

"Yah and Olli has been working pretty hard since he's been here. We all deserve a break." Christian added he hadn't missed Olli's uplifted spirits when Judith had quite tactlessly brought up the topic of his ex-flames and stalkers.

Gregor slapped his knees and announced,

"Okay! So it's decided. This weekend No Limits will be closed and Wilderness weekend open."

Everyone cheered and clinked glasses.

After everyone had left as they cleared up the dinner things that night Christian suddenly asked

"By chance did you think I was straight?"

"Yah. I did." Olli replied

"And you thought Judith and me..."

"Yah I did."

"Does that mean you ...?" Christian asked unable to contain his curiousity

"Yes, I've developed a crush on you. It just happened." Olli replied defensively and focused on diligently scrubbing the already clean baking tin he held.

He heard Christian soft laugh in his ear as he came to stand right behind him and then, the whispered words "I like you too... a lot."

Then Christian was gone.

_Back to you __  
__it always comes around __  
__back to you __  
__I tried to forget you __  
__I tried to stay away __  
__But it's too late_

_Over you __  
__I'm never over __  
__over you __  
__something about you __  
__It's just the way you move __  
__the way you move me_

_**-John mayer**_

**CHAPTER 27 - Butterflies and Wilderness Weekend**

"Charley! I didn't know I could be this happy." Olli said as he came jogging into Schneider's and enveloped Charley in a bear hug.

"I'm happy that you're happy Schatz. But may I ask the reason behind this happiness." She queried once he loosened his grip on her.

"He's Gay! He. Is. Gay." He said twirling her around as he hugged her again and then placed a kiss on each of her cheeks.

"Who's gay?"

"Christian! He's gay."

"I could have told you that. Actually come to think of it I did try to tell you that he's gay." She said alluding to the conversation they had just after his attack.

"I thought you were warning me off of him like you did about..." his eyes dimmed, "I'm such a bastard."

"Shhh...let's not go there." She ran a gentle hand in his hair to sooth him then continued "The past is gone. Focus on the present darling. Focus on Christian now." Olli slowly nodded his head and gave her a weak smile.

"So he's gay and single."

Olli's face instantly brightened.

"Yes, he is. I'm going to a cabin in the woods with him on a getaway this weekend" Olli chirped unable to contain his delight.

"That was pretty quick." Charley gave a startled frown. "He's known you for five minutes and now he's already inviting you to solitary romantic getaways."

"No, we're not going alone. Gregor, Luise and Christian's best friend Judith and her husband will be going as well."

"Thank God. He had me scared for a minute there."

"He's such a gentle soul. I never thought I'd meet someone like him."

"OH! So you are already in love with him."

Olli smiled shyly and nodded his head.

"And what about him?"

"I think he ... I think the feeling might be mutual."

"Well what can I say?"

"Say you're happy for me."

"I definitely am my dear. And he is a good man. I couldn't have chosen a better son- in- law."

"Woah! Charley back up. We've not even been on our first date as yet."

"But you are going to be together this weekend."

"Yah, we'll be together but not alone... So what have you decided about the seating arrangement ..."

"I'll see you on Monday then." Olli said as he zipped up his jacket.

"Enjoy yourself and have a great time." Charley said and kissed his cheek.

"Oh, I certainly will." Olli answered a mischievous glint in his green eyes.

After the hour and a half long drive thru the lush country side they finally reached the cabin.

Luise went inside to air out the cabin as the rest of them unloaded the cars.

Suddenly Judith let out a string of cusses

"Damn it! We forgot all of it. Shit!"

"What did we forget?" Constantine asked puzzled.

"The food Consti. All of it. **Both** the baskets! DAMMIT!" Then let out another string of cusses

"Okay, okay calm down." Gregor soothed, "there's a farmer's market a couple of miles back we'll go and pick up everything we need."

"Boys," Gregor called addressing Christian and Olli, "it seems that we have a food crisis, so while we four go and rectify that situation, why don't you two make yourself useful and sweep out the cabin." Gregor completed his order and handed each of them a broom.

The married couples headed out and the pair diligently swept out the cabin. They were almost done with the sweeping of the porch when Olli accidentally poked Christian in his side with the broom he held.

The blond straightened and fixed his sparkling blue gaze on an apologetic Olli's face

"Now you've done it." Christian said mock angrily

Wielding his broom he announced

"En guard Herr Sabel."

Olli smiled and got into the spirit of the game and wielded his broom as well.

There started an impromptu sword fighting with the brooms. Olli backed away as Christian chased him out the porch and around the cabin.

**CHAPTER 28 - Capture A Wild Moment**

The SUV came to a halt and the two couples tumbled out. They headed inside and set the food and other supplies on the kitchen counters.

Suddenly Judith observed, "Where are the two of them?"

"Christian? Olli? Where are you guys?" Gregor called out

Luise giggled, "They're out there." She said pointing out the window, "Awww they're so cute."

The four of them stood watching the two oblivious men involved in childish play.

The playful pair clashed and parried with the brooms behaving like school boys at lunch break.

Suddenly Olli tripped over a tree root and his broom tangled with Christian's.

A thud and Christian found himself laying on top of Olli their noses almost touching. Both were out of breath because of the exertion and their sped up breath intermingled in the small space between their mouths.

Christian stared into the glittering green eyes as they blinked up at him. Christian slightly tilted his head and brushed his lips against Olli's in a gentle kiss. Feeling a response he deepened the kiss. Olli's hand came up and tangled in Christian's hair pulling him closer.

The couple lay on the ground oblivious to the four pair of eyes watching them through the cabin's open window

"I told you they'd make a cute couple." Judith whispered feeling very proud of herself.

The collective clearing of throats caused them to break apart, hastily Christian rolled off Olli.

Gregor looked at the pair lying on the ground and quipped, "Though we are definitely enjoying the show, there are plenty of beds in rooms which have doors- that can be locked, that are yours to use if you want to continue your twilight rendezvous." The older Mann said and gave them one of his dazzling grins.

Turning around the tittering couples left them and headed back to the cabin.

Christian rose to his feet and offered his hand to Olli to help him up.

They stood tongue tied just looking at each other, still holding hands.

"Shall we go inside?" Christian gently enquired.

Olli blushed, "We're never going to hear the end of this are we?" and gave Christian an embarrassed smile

"Oh definitely. Get ready for the most awkward evening of your life." Christian laughed as Olli blushed scarlet.

Christian tugged Olli towards himself wrapping his arms around Olli he kissed him again.

Olli slowly pulled away from the kiss. Leaning his forehead again Christian's he spoke softly fiddling with the top button on Christian's jacket, "We've just met. We should take it slow."

Christian nodded "Yah I think that'd be the wisest thing to do."

"But I feel like I've known you for years." Christian added which was the truth Olli was completely oblivious to.

They kissed once more before heading back inside. Christian draped his arm around Olli's shoulder and tucked him into his side as Olli's arm encircled his waist.

During dinner Gregor gave them a good ribbing and cut as many jokes as he could at their expense. Until Luise rebuked him and made him apologize to a blushing Olli.

The rest of the dinner passed pleasantly.

Then suddenly Judith said "You know Olli I get this feeling that we've met somewhere before."

"I worked at Schneider's before I left to work on the cruise liner. You must have seen me there." Olli said matter of factly.

"Maybe..." Judith mumbled here brows creasing in a thoughtful frown.

Christian prayed hoping that Judith wouldn't remember.

Otherwise his pint size knight in shining armor might throw a spanner in the works because against himself he had managed to fall back in love with this green eyed enigma sitting beside him.

Christian built a camp fire and lay down by it staring up at the stars.

He heard the snap of twigs as some one approached him.

"What are doing here all by yourself?" Olli asked as he came to stand by him

"Contemplating the universe." Christian answered philosophically.

"Really?" Olli asked a smile on his face as he sat down beside Christian.

"No," Christian answered as he sat up , "I thinking of my mom. She would have liked you."

Olli just kept looking at Christian unable to come up with a suitable response.

"I miss her so much. Especially now." Christian said his voice thick with emotion he stared into the fire.

Turning to Olli he asked, "What about your mom?"

"For all purposes Charley is my mother. The woman who gave birth to me is of no consequence to me." Olli answered bitterly. "Hate is too mild a word for what I feel for her." he explained his handsome features distorted by the utter anger that engulfed him.

"I'm sorry I brought it up." Christian apologized.

Olli smiled at him.

"You always keep apologizing to me. When it's none of your fault at all. Now that we are together..." he looked intently into Christian's eyes, "we are together right?"

As an answer Christian curled his hand around the back of Olli's neck and pulled him towards himself, "What do you think?" Christian murmured against Olli's lips right before capturing them in a fierce kiss. He lay back down and pulled Olli on top. His hands crept inside Olli's jacket and then under his t-shirt to caress his back as their tongues fought for dominance.

**CHAPTER 29 - Can I Lean On You?**

The touch to his bare skin startled Olli. He broke the kiss immediately then literally jumped up and off Christian. The change in Olli's behaviour completely confused Christian

"What...what's wrong?" Christian asked dazed and confused by the sudden loss of contact. He watched Olli sit up rigidly and look away.

Christian felt like kicking himself Olli may behave like it was no big deal but it was impossible that he was past the attack.

"Oh God! I came on too strong didn't I?" he whispered disgusted at himself.

Christian started to get up to give Olli the privacy to fall apart.

But Olli grabbed him arm. Looking up at Christian with pleading eyes Olli said in a small voice, "Don't leave me alone please."

Christian sat back down and Olli placed his head on Christian's shoulder.

They sat silently for the longest time just looking into the crackling fire.

Olli's arm encircled his waist and he tucked his body closer to Christian's, taking the cue Christian put his arm around Olli and gently rubbed his upper arm,

"If you hadn't come that night I don't think I would have survived." Olli slowly said

What could Christian say to that? There was no appropriate answer.

"There aren't words that can fully express how grateful I am to you." Olli added his voice choked and hardly above a whisper

Again silence descended

"I think I'll go back in." Olli finally said and stood up.

Christian watched him walk towards the cabin head bent, shoulders slumped and hands tucked in his pockets. He looked like an abandoned child searching desperately for sanctuary.

Christian got up and chased after him.

He reached Olli just as the older man had almost made it to the porch.

He came to stand right in front of Olli and blocked his path.

He observed Olli look up at him a frown creasing his brow right before Christian pulled him into his embrace.

Placing a gentle kiss on Olli's neck he whispered in his ear "You're not alone anymore. I'm right here with you."

The words seemed to break Olli and he put his arms around Christian. His hold around Christian bruising tight but the younger man didn't mind. Olli tucked his face in Christian throat and just let go.

The weeks of bottled up emotions finally found expression as he silently sobbed; his hands twisting the back of Christian's jacket pulling him as close as he could.

"What are you two doing standing in the dark," Gregor drowsy voice drifted towards them from the open door.

"Nothing," Christian answered as he led Olli in and then towards the bedrooms.

Christian led him into the bedroom Olli was to occupy for the weekend and then turned to leave.

"Stay with me tonight." Olli requested as he wiped his tears.

Christian turned to look at Olli's flushed tear stained face and shut the door.

Giving Christian a wan smile he said "God! This is embarrassing I haven't asked someone to stay with me since I was eight and had the measles."

"I don't mind," Christian answered as he took off his jacket.

"I promise not to appall your modesty and take advantage of you." Olli said to lighten the mood.

"Oh! You're most welcome to take advantage of me in any which way you feel like." Christian jovially returned with a naughty dimpled grin and waggled his eyebrows glad to see the normal Olli peek through the sadness.

They undressed in silence and got under the covers. Tired from the emotional outburst he had Olli fell asleep almost instantly

Christian watched Olli sleep, the dark eyelashes fanned against the pale cheek.

He thought about the new detail about Olli's life that he had just learnt.

Unlike him Olli seemed to have had a very painful relation with his mother. To consider his aunt as his mother was indication that the person who gave birth to him must have done something truly so hurtful that it had turned Olli against her.

Something had disturbed Christian's sleep. There it was again, a soft whimper. Christian switched on the table lamp and turned to find Olli curled up in a tight ball whimpering into the pillow. As he strained his ears Christian realized that Olli was murmuring over and over the phrase, "I'm sorry". Gently rubbing Olli's back he whispered to the fast asleep man, "Shhh...it's alright."

Olli woke up and looked up at him his eyes wild.

"It's just me." Christian whispered

"He hit me," Olli whimpered.

"He isn't here anymore, it was all a bad dream," Christian soothed.

"Don't leave me," Olli cried grabbing his arm as Christian turned to switch off the light.

"I'm not going anywhere," Christian promised.

Soothed Olli put his head on Christian's chest and snuggled into him and soon was softly snoring again.

That attack had done more damage to Olli than he showed. He needed help and Christian wondered if he would be capable of giving Olli the help he needed and required.

Early next morning as Christian sat on the porch steps tying his shoelaces Olli came out two cups of coffee in hand.

Handing one to Christian he sat down beside him, "Sorry for being such a weepy wimp last night." Olli said giving Christian an embarrassed look.

"I could say no problem, but I'm glad you trust me enough to be weak in front of me."

"Thank You."

"Olli you're my boyfriend, you don't have to thank me you just have to trust me."

"I do," Olli answered sincerely. They sat in companionable silence and drank their coffee.

Looking around himself Olli observed "It's so beautiful here, so quiet and peaceful."

"Yes, it is the perfect hideaway. When we were younger Gregor and I would come here at least once a month to camp and trek. Or just getaway from the general craziness of everyday life." Christian told him.

"It is definitely the perfect place to clear your head. I haven't felt this relaxed and at peace with myself for a long time." Olli confessed.

Gulping down his coffee at one go Christian handed his empty cup to Olli and got up.

"I'm off I'll see you later." The blond said before jogging off in the direction of the clearing which led towards a jogging trail.

**CHAPTER 30 - Petals On The Path**

Olli sat on the porch steps watching Christian jog off and disappear behind the trees.

Letting go last night had felt good. Christian just being there for him had been more than Olli could have expected.

He trusted Christian but would Christian trust him if he really knew why he had backed off during their kiss last night.

Christian assumed that it had to do with the attack, which it had partially but not wholly.

"The past is gone." Charley's advise rang in his ears.

Olli squared his shoulders. He made the decision to take Charley's advice to heart and make a fresh start.

A fresh start with Christian.

He was so lost in thought that he didn't realize that he was no longer alone.

"I assume you slept well last night." Judith gently said.

Olli looked at her and smiled.

"Yes, I did."

"Mind if I ask you a question Olli?"

"Go right ahead."

"What you feel for Christian, it isn't just a reaction to his saving you is it?"

"No, I promise you it isn't. I fell for him long before that night."

"Another question."

"O..kay" he said with curious frown

"How the hell did you even assume that he was straight?" Judith queried giving him a bemused look.

"I saw him kiss you and thought you were his girlfriend. And my assumption was strengthened when he seemed to spend most of his free evenings with you."

"Oh That. That was only so he could avoid you." Judith said and tapped him on his thigh.

"Me? What did I do?" Olli asked confused.

"Other than being completely scrumptious to look at? Nothing. But that's just Christian's usual behaviour when he has the hots for someone. So I just put 2 and 2 together and came up with U."

"So that night that you came over..."

"Well, I had come over to tell him about the baby but then I met you. Your behaviour at my announcement made me realize that Mr. Macho hadn't divulged the fact that he swung the other way; causing you both to waste time that you could have been better spent in activities more enjoyable than just making googley eyes at each other." Judith said in one breath.

"Has anybody ever told you that you are frank to a fault?" Olli said with a laugh

"Hey, That's just me. I can't help calling a spade a spade. I have known that kid for a long time. I've seen him thru a lot. Especially his first heart break from which I think he never really recovered. So here's my advice to you. Take it or leave it."

"I'll definitely take it." Olli was all ears.

"Well it's more like a warning. Christian is like family to Consti and me. So you dare not break his heart or we'll kill you and make it look like an accident. Get It." Judith said putting on her best threatening face but looking just as adorable as ever.

"Got It." Olli answered and smiled at her.

Her job done Judith moved onto lighter topics.

"I think I'll go and get breakfast started." Judith said as she got up to head inside.

"I'll help you." Olli offered

"You cook?" Judith asked in surprise. Then asked in curiosity "Does Christian know?".

"Yes, I do. And yes Christian knows. Infact I've been keeping him fed for the last couple of weeks." Olli completed rather proudly.

"SO you know about Christian's ..."

"Large appetite ...yah I do." Olli completed tactfully.

"You don't need to be polite. It's an open secret that he has a bottomless pit for a stomach." They both laughed in mutual agreement.

Olli was setting the table for breakfast when he saw Christian through the open window as he came jogging back towards the cabin.

Christian entered and looked around cautiously. Seeing that they were alone he walked up to Olli and held out a bunch of flowers towards him.

"I got these for you." Christian muttered uncomfortably.

Olli took the bunch of wild flowers tied together with a long blade of grass.

Christian looked around again to make sure that none of the other occupants of the cabin were witness to his this gesture.

Olli caressed the flowers with light fingers and closed his eyes as he enjoyed their scent.

Olli smiled when he noticed the uncomfortable expression on Christian's face as the younger man kept looking around, "They've all gone for a walk before breakfast." Olli informed him.

"Oh ... good." Christian said relief washing over him then he started to apologize to Olli "About last night I didn't mean to ..."

Before he could get any further Olli placed a finger on Christian's lips and interrupted

"Stop, you did nothing wrong, I just panicked."

Cupping Christian's cheek he continued, "Don't ever apologize for last night because what you did for me by just being there for me I can't thank you enough for that."

Olli placed a gentle kiss on Christian's mouth to stop him from saying anything else.

The rest of the weekend passed pleasantly; they flirted, stole discreet kisses but didn't go beyond that. On Sunday evening as they drove back Christian decided that next time when he came to the cabin it would be with Olli alone and they wouldn't step outdoors once they entered through the door. He smiled at Olli as he entwined their fingers.

They were back at their flat a little after 8 on Sunday evening. Hanging up his coat and jacket Christian plopped down on the couch and stretched.

"God! We didn't do a darn thing all weekend but still I feel like I just ran the Boston Marathon." he moaned.

Christian cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders.

"How about I give you a massage," Olli offered

"That'd be wonderful," Christian said and hummed as Olli started to knead his shoulders.

"You know this'd work better if you took your shirt off," Olli slyly said, alluding to the previous time they had been in this situation.

Christian tilted his head back and looked into the green eyes as they sparkled with mischief.

"Yes you're right," Christian agreed and quickly whipped off his shirt.

Turning around he looked back up at Olli and said "This would work even better if ..." he jumped off the couch and grabbed Olli by his shirt front.

**CHAPTER 31 - Don't You Dare ... I Promise. **

Olli found himself lying back on the couch as Christian straddled him.

"This definitely works better," Christian observed as his lips moved along Olli's jaw leaving small kisses. Christian's mouth covered Olli's and he nipped at his lower lip begging him to part his lips. Olli parted his lips granting free access to the exploring tongue. He moaned into Christian's mouth as their tongues tangled in a sensuous dance.

Their tongues twirled together till Olli's shyly retreated, forcing Christian to chase it back into Olli's mouth. Christian groaned at the taste and pressed forward to grind his crotch against Olli's. He felt a shiver crawl up his spine and sweat broke out on his upper lip. Christian could feel Olli's heart beating and it thrilled him to feel it race harder the longer they kissed. Christian couldn't think of anything that could delight him more than the knowledge that this man wanted him.

Christian slipped his hands under Olli's t-shirt, running them over the sleek muscles of his back, kneading and drawing groans from Olli. His mouth left Olli's and he moved his body, pressing against Olli so he could lower his head to nuzzle Olli's neck. He licked and sucked the sensitive skin there.

His exploring mouth was obstructed by Olli t-shirt. Raising his head Christian looked into Olli's emerald windows seeking permission. Olli raised his head off the couch and captured Christian's mouth in a kiss that spoke his total trust in the younger man.

As they kissed with gentle hands Christian raised the t-shirt . Breaking their kiss the blond sat up.

"Off" Christian chuckled and yanked the t-shirt over Olli's head and flung it over the back of the couch. Now that his mouth had no obstruction, he hungrily latched onto an aroused nipple, biting it gently before rolling it in his mouth and sucking. Olli could only moan and hold on tightly to the other man.

This impassivity lasted only until his nipple was released, then Olli did some demanding of his own. "Want to feel you," he explained as he reached for Christian's belt.

Christian grabbed his hand and got off the couch. He saw the disappointment start to spread over Olli's face. But before Olli could complete a thought Christian pulled him up into his arms and held him close as he whispered in his ear, "Bed".

Like horny teenagers kissing and grabbing at each other they made their way to the bedrooms.

"Yours or mine," Christian whispered between frantic kisses.

"Yours," Olli choked out right before he found himself pinned against the glass of Christian's door as Christian turned the handle and they both tumbled into his room.

Eager hands made short work of the rest of the obstructing clothing. Stepping back Christian admired the sight that took his breath away. Olli's skin gleamed in the meager lights streaming in through the windows, the pale-pearl tone of his flesh beckoned Christian's touch. The older man wasn't slight in form, well formed sinewy muscles made him look strong, but Christian knew that strength was deceptive, that the older man had a fragile core that Christian was just beginning to discover. But above all he was beautiful!

Olli fidgeted, uncomfortable under the azure-eyed regard. Did Christian not like what he saw? But hearing Christian's whispered, "You're beautiful," he smiled a shy smile and hesitantly reached for him. Their mouths fused again.

Olli felt himself being laid back on the bed and Christian's delicious weight covered him. Olli couldn't stop his moan as their arousals rubbed together or control the excited thrust of his hips as his body begged for more. He willingly spread his legs, making place for the younger man's solid frame, joyously giving a low laugh at Christian's guttural groan.

Christian couldn't get enough of Olli's lips. Their kisses grew wet and sloppy, but neither minded and it was only reluctantly that Olli released Christian's lips when the other man began nibbling and sucking on his neck and shoulders and made his way lower.

Christian paid homage to each nipple, spreading kisses and bites to one then the other until Olli was a whirling mess under him. Christian's lips moving further down. A stubble roughed cheek rubbed along the sensitive skin of Olli's belly. Olli felt the tip of the wet hot tongue lap at his belly button and move still further down to the base of his hard cock. Christian licked his way up to the tip and after some, rather inarticulate encouragement from Olli, Christian carefully took him into his mouth.

Olli started to move in that warm mouth. He felt like he couldn't possibly get any harder, but Christian's lips prove him wrong. His fingers entangle in Christian's hair pushing his head down. Christian realized that Olli is close and withdraws, he smiles at Olli's unappreciative groan. The younger man slowly moves his way back up to Olli's mouth and kisses him as his hand encircles Olli's cock to gently stroke it.

Eventually Christian takes his weight off Olli's body and hovers over him on hands and knees. The lack of contact causes Olli to open his eyes. He looks up at Christian his eyes heavy with unquenched passion and eagerly awaits Christian's next move.

"Tell me what you want," Christian whispers with infinite tenderness.

"Make love to me," Olli whispers back.

"Please make love to me," Olli whispers hoarsely almost begs as his hands slowly caress Christian's back and then tangle in his hair to pull him down into a desperate kiss. Olli moans and Christian can feel Olli's hands slide down his back, pressing Christian closer to his own body.

Christian broke the kiss and crawled off Olli, causing Olli to grab at him,

"I'm not leaving you," he whispered as he opened a drawer to take out the lube and a condom.

Olli's eyes flared in anticipation as Christian kissed him again. Christian's lubed fingers gently circled Olli's entrance before he slid one digit inside, halting at the knuckle, letting Olli adjust to the penetration.

Once the muscles of Olli's entrance stopped gripping his finger, Christian moved it in and out, going further each time until he could move his finger in and out of the passage smoothly. Only then did he add another, thrusting in and out, enjoying his lover's groans. Withdrawing his fingers Christian impatiently ripped open the condom, unable to prevent his own moan as he stroked it on his erection. Coating himself with the rest of the lube on his hand, Christian splayed Olli's legs wide on either side of his body. Olli adjusted his legs so that they were bent at the knees and his feet flat on the mattress as he felt Christian's cock at his entrance.

"Ready?" Christian hoarsely asked.

"Yes," Olli answered his voice breathless. Olli halted Christian briefly with a hesitant hand on the other man's arm. "Just go slow, please. It's been a while," he requested, mossy green eyes pleading for understanding. Christian moved forward using the momentum of his body's movement to slowly push himself into Olli.

Olli bucked under the pressure and the pleasure. He took the weight of the other body as he started to move in him. Almost without thinking Olli moved, lifting his legs, he wrapped them around Christian's lower back, so they rested behind him. It took the pressure off his legs, but also pushed Christian in even deeper.

Christian raised himself up on his hands and started to slowly pick up the speed with which he pulled in and out of Olli's tight hole. Olli groaned, his breathing started to become labored as he was moved faster towards climax.

"Christian," Olli moaned and his hips lifted from the bed, his body clenching around the thick length filling it. All he could do was hold on as Christian began moving faster, thrusting in and out of him, wringing cry after cry from Olli's lips. When the next thrust was angled to hit his prostrate, Olli saw stars and his stomach and balls tightened, signaling he was close.

Christian reached between their bodies, taking Olli's cock in his hand he fisted it rapidly, knowing neither one of them was going to last much longer.

Christian's next two thrust sent Olli over the edge. He came with a loud cry.

"Olli!" Christian cried as the tunnel around his cock grew tighter, squeezing and forcing his own release from him. He thrust fast and hard twice more before collapsing on his lover.

They stayed like that for several minutes, each trying to regain their breath and slow their heartbeats. Olli rubbed up and down Christian's damp back, enjoying the other man's weight on him and the cock still inside him. He hummed with disapproval when Christian rolled off, and he immediately snuggled close as Christian discarded the condom. Christian pulled the warm lethargic body gladly into his embrace.

Placing an affectionate kiss atop the mussed midnight hair he asked "Okay?"

"Wonderful," Olli mumbled drowsily

Suddenly a question invaded Christian mind as he wondered about Olli's plea for slowness.

"Olli?" he said softly. At the older man's low "yes," he asked. "How long had it been?"

Olli raised his head, green eyes meeting blue , a little confused by the question. He frowned for a moment, not getting it, but then with a soft "Oh," he laid his head back upon the other man's chest. "A little over six years," he answered not seeing the shocked disbelief in Christian's eyes.

Christian couldn't believe that Olli hadn't been with anyone in six years! "How come?" he asked, unconsciously tightening his arm around his lover.

Olli stiffened then whispered halting, "You've tired me out Schatz can we talk about it some other time." He turned his back to Christian to avoid any kind of pillow talk. Christian watched the curved back, as Olli lay curled in a semi fetal position, for a few moments, Then he said, "It's getting cold. Mind if we get under the covers," and for effect he tugged at the covers they both lay on. Olli got up pulled on his boxers and headed to the bathroom. Christian flipped back the blankets and then headed for the bathroom as well.

Christian came back into his room expecting Olli to be already under the covers but instead found that Olli had brought back the discarded T shirts from the living room. The older man had even folded Christian's clothes and kept the items on Christian's study table chair.

Christian got under the blanket and watched Olli pick up his jeans then turn to leave.

"Was this a one time thing," Christian hissed through clenched teeth.

Olli head snapped around "No, of course not."

"Then why are you leaving?" Christian growled

Olli turned back around and stood looking at Christian. Twisting the clothes he held with nervous hands, finally he said,

"I...thought...you..." he stopped as if trying to sort out his thoughts. "It's your room." Olli finally finished lamely.

Christian held up the corner of the blanket in silent invitation and held his breath. He didn't have to hold either of them too long as Olli quickly dumped his clothes on the chair and climbed back in with him.

"Don't you dare ever leave again." Christian warned as he pulled Olli into his arms

"I won't. I promise." Olli whispered as he buried his face in Christian's solid chest and breathed in the younger man's calming scent.

**CHAPTER 32 - Candy Kisses**

Olli jerked awake in the dawn light. He took in his unfamiliar surroundings and started to panic. Where the hell was he? he wondered; until he felt the weight of the arm encircling his waist and the steady beat of a strong heart against his back. Panic instantly evaporated replaced by bubbling happiness. He took in a deep cleansing breathe as his eyes misted over with thankful tears. For the first time in a long time he didn't feel the need to crawl out of bed just because he was awake. After many years of trying to run away from his nightmares this morning he could just enjoy the first minutes of the new day as he lay here beside the man who had made his nightmares stop once and for all. He watched the sky redden as the sun slowly began it's ascent into the sky. The singing of the birds made his own heart sing. He gently touched the arm around his waist and entwined his fingers with the sleeping man's to reassure himself that this morning wasn't a figment of his imagination.

The ringing of the alarm clock broke into Olli's thoughts and he felt a soft kiss on his shoulder. Christian mumbled a yawned 'Good morning' to him and hugged Olli closer.

"I know you're awake," Christian whispered as he caressed Olli's chest.

"And what if I wasn't?" Olli asked as he turned around

"Then I would have woken you up,"

"Ugh morning breath." Olli exclaimed covering is nose and mouth with the blanket.

"Sorry," Christian giggled and held the blanket to his mouth. "Guess we should brush our teeth."

"You look happy," Miriam observed when she heard Olli softly humming as he worked.

"Hmmm?" Olli asked looking up at her dreamily as he stacked the meringues on the stand.

"I said you look happy" the blond waitress repeated.

"Coz I am." He answered glowing

"Someone got laid,"

Olli blushed smiling shyly and went to start up the coffee machine as he set up for the day.

"DO we know him?" Miriam prodded

"Yes, you do," a cheerful voice behind her informed.

Christian came round the counter and kissed Olli.

"Figures" Miriam rolled her eyes and went off to tell Anna about the latest development.

Christian pushed Olli back against the counter and slowly nibbled a path up his jaw and bit his earlobe then proceeded to kiss him again.

"Oh please! Not in the middle of day." Gregor's voice remarked and made a gagging sound.

The couple turned and looked at Gregor.

Christian huffed, "It's 8 in the morning Gregor."

Then he growled "Why don't you just go hide in the storage closet if you have a problem with Olli and me,"

"Christian," Olli whispered in shock.

"Loosen up Christian I was just teasing."

"Didn't sound like it," Christian growled scowling at Gregor.

"I'm sorry kleiner bruder."

Christian just scowled back at him.

The mood was instantly changed when the first customers of the day came in.

Christian took a seat on a bar stool at the counter. Leaning his chin on his palm he sat watching Olli go about his work.

"Stop that," Olli scolded.

"Stop what?" Christian asked in all innocence.

"Stop staring at me."

"Why?"

"Coz you're making me uncomfortable," Olli said in a whisper.

"Okay, if you insist." Christian answered mock sadly then continued cheerfully "but... I wouldn't mind getting a piece of candy."

"Piece of candy?" Olli was puzzled.

Christian gently tapped Olli's chest.

Olli looked down at his t-shirt and laughed in understanding. He was wearing his purple T-shirt which had the question 'Do you want a piece of candy?' emblazoned on it.

"So do I get a piece of candy?" Christian asked with a deep dimpled smile

"Sorry I'm all out of candy." Olli answered shaking his head.

Christian stuck out his lower lip and made a sad face.

"But I can give you a kiss and a chocolate brownie instead." Olli offered and leaned towards Christian

"Delicious." Christian exclaimed after receiving the kiss.

"Now the brownie please," Christian demanded holding out his hand.

As Christian munched on his brownie he looked at his watch and said half heartedly "Guess I should be heading to school anyway. I hope I get a kiss before I leave."

"Come here," Olli tugged Christian towards himself by the collar and gave him a kiss. "Mmmm chocolatey."

Then giving him kiss on the cheek Olli said "Have a great day and don't go chasing after strange men,"

"Olli, I'm one of three men on that campus and believe me the other two guy's wives ..."

Seeing Olli's grin he stopped mid-sentence.

"Oh ...you were joking." Christian observed and smiled back sheepishly.

"I'll see you in the evening then." Christian said and left amidst Miriam and Anna's giggles.

After handing out the pop quiz papers to his class, to solve, Christian sat back in his chair. His mind drifted out of the classroom across the playground, out of the school - straight to No Limits.

He wondered what Olli was doing right at that moment.

Serving a customer.

Ringing up a bill -check.

Scolding a clumsy Miriam who had dropped a tray of drinks, again.

Or maybe he was flirting with that customer who always came in for his Chai Latte everyday. The last image made him grimace.

But his mood lifted when he looked at his watch and realized it was close to 1 so Olli was most probably at lunch with Charley going over one or the other details concerning her wedding.

He didn't realize he had a goofy grin plastered on his face as he stared into space until he heard some concealed titters from his students. Instantly he shook off the daydream and focused back on his surrounding.

"I wonder what Herr Mann was grinning about." Anja pondered

"It wasn't any of us definitely." Tisca observed with a giggle.

"Most probably he was thinking about the twink he boinked last night." Tanja quipped sarcastically.

"Eww Tanja. Keep your dirty opinions to yourself. Coach Mann definitely isn't that type." Delilah the boxing team captain hissed making Tanja quiver.

"He's a fairy, isn't he?" Tanya returned mustering up as much bravado as she could.

"Why don't you say that to his face next time during practice?" Delilah challenged, "Mrs. Jorgen will throw you out of St Clarissa's so fast. It'll make your head spin." Delilah growled at her.

"As if he'll tell her." Tanya answered confidently

"Oh! **He** definitely won't. But Kitina certainly will. She is after all Mrs. Jorgen's daughter and a complete tattle tale; not to mention she is also Coach Mann's biggest fan." Delilah informed the other girl with a smirk on her face making Tanja squirm.

**CHAPTER 33 - If You Love ...Then Confess.**

Christian knew he had been too aggressive when Gregor had teased them that morning. But the fear that Gregor will somehow know that Olli was Florian made him very nervous.

Even though he had never shown Gregor the picture the fear kept eating at him and he didn't know how to get over this fear. Gregor's threat that he would '_kill the man who had taken advantage of his little brother_' still rang in Christian's ears clear as a bell.

Christian wasn't good at lying that is what had got him caught in the first place.

But not telling wasn't the same as lying, was it? So he hadn't lied to Gregor this time. He just hadn't told him anything but if he kept up his aggressive behaviour Gregor would definitely smell a rat and that would lead to an interrogation.

He had to curb his temper if he really wanted to keep Olli safe and give their relationship a chance to grow.

*_Cool down baby_* Christian told himself before he entered No Limits and was greeted by his smiling boyfriend.

"Christian can we talk," Gregor asked as Christian was unlocking his door.

"S..sure," Christian stammered.

"About this morning..." Gregor started.

Christian stared at his brother and prayed that his very receptive brother hadn't picked up on his strange behaviour.

"...I didn't mean to cross the line like that. I'm sorry."

Christian mentally sighed in relief.

"It's okay," Christian answered breezily now that he knew his brother didn't suspect a thing.

"Gregor just please cut down on the jibes okay. I think Olli might be the one. So I don't want you chasing him away."

"Wow! The one! Kleiner bruder are you sure." Gregor asked a look of utter disbelief on his face.

"I said he **might** be, so please cut down on the stupid comments. Think about how it was with Luise. And next time think if she would have liked the comment if **I** had said it to **her** when you two were dating."

"Okay, ok I get it. No more inappropriate comments. Alright, are we ok now?"

"Well, at least we are on the same wavelength now." Christian said to give Gregor the impression that he was still pissed at his brother's thoughtless behaviour.

He quickly opened the door and slammed it shut behind himself so that their conversation couldn't be extended.

He collapsed on the couch. He wondered how long it would be before he blurted out something to either Olli or Gregor.

Christian watched as Olli skillfully chopped the carrots, the onions and tomatoes like an expert TV chef

"Wow! You're fast." Christian gaped in awe.

"Well I've had a lot of practice. I cooked for my friends on the ship on my days off."

"Where did you learn to cook? From Charley?"

"No," Olli laughed and continued, "That poor lady can't even boil water. I took classes in rehab"

"Rehab?"

Olli looked up in shock at the blond man and realized what he let slip out. He proceeded hoping Christian wouldn't flee.

The stories of swift break ups that he had heard from his fellow rehab mates who he was still in contact with rattled in his mind.

Hopefully Christian wasn't like those people's partners, so Olli soldiered on with his explanation.

"Yup! I've been sober and clean for 6 years now." Though there was pride in Olli's voice his dimmed eyes conveyed the shame he felt.

"Sober and clean?" Christian questioned his eyes growing wider with shock.

"I was a double offender. Not only was I an alcoholic I was also a drug addict. There is nothing that I hadn't snorted, swallowed, puffed or injected." Olli explained as he spread the vegetables in the baking dish and started to arrange the chicken fillets over them. He watched as Christian's face slowly paled and then reddened.

"I wasn't someone your brother would have wanted you to associate with had we met six years back. I would have been a terrible influence on an aspiring teacher. Come to think of it..." whatever he was going to say was interrupted by the trilling of his cell phone.

"Hi! Olivia." He greeted his cousin's voice

"No I can't." whatever the girl was asking Olli wasn't budging

"I'm not going to do that either."

Christian stared at Olli as the other man tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder and continued with his chores. He put the baking dish in the oven and set the timer. He kept listening to the annoying voice in his ear as he wiped down the kitchen counter then proceeded to put away the dishes from the dish washer.

Christian absorbed the information - _So that's where Florian had disappeared first to a rehab center and then to sea_.

Olli watched Christian as the younger man sat intently watching Olli.

*_So he hadn't run off screaming that was a good sign_* Olli felt relieved. Once Olivia's incessant jabber had ended he put down the phone finally And in turn watched Christian before speaking.

"You're staring. Anything the matter?" Olli asked breaking into Christian's thoughts and jolting him back to reality.

"Nothing. Just overload of info. I can't believe you were _that_ guy. You don't look the type." Christian hoped Olli wouldn't see through his lies.

"Christian there isn't a 'type' who is more prone to becoming addicts." Olli said gently.

Christian realized he had to change the topic so he decided to go to his favourite and asked

"When do we eat?"

"Well another 20 minutes to go before the fillets are done. So why don't you have some cucumber sticks" Olli said holding up the bowl of salad.

Christian just made a face and headed to the fridge.

Olli blocked his access

"No chance Sir. You are supposed to be watching your weight. It's either cucumbers, fruits or nothing."

"Yes Mom," turning around he picked up a cucumber stick and sat chomping on it, a look of utter disgust on his face.

"God you remind me so much of..."

Christian's ears pricked up

"Who? Who do I remind you of?"

"Oh just someone I once knew." Olli sadly said as he took off his apron.

Then he smiled at Christian cheerfully

"I'm going down now. I'll be back in a few minutes so no scrounging in the fridge."

Christian just stuck his tongue out at him.

"Very mature Coach Mann" Olli teased ruffling his hair. He leaned in to kiss Christian but the blond backed away and just stared at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

Olli straightened, turning he walked to the door swiftly opened it and exited the flat.

Firmly shutting the door behind him Olli leaned back against it.

Great he had just nipped this relationship right in the bud.

*_Bravo Olli! You complete moron. You _**_had _**_to confess didn't you_*

**CHAPTER 34 - A Cuddle and A Giggle**

Christian hadn't missed the hurt that had passed over Olli's features when he had backed away

*_Shit I'm such a bloody idiot_*

Stuffing the cucumber stick in his mouth he jumped up. Hurrying to the door he yanked it open and Olli fell right into his arms.

Turning him around Christian kissed him.

Instantly Olli pulled away, "Blaaakh. You've still got food in your mouth."

"Sorry" Christian smiled and quickly swallowed. He again tugged Olli tight in his arms and thoroughly kissed him.

"What's with you guys and PDA." Gregor's voice floated in from the hallway.

"Drop Dead," Christian mumbled as he slammed the door shut.

He walked them back to the couch and pushed Olli onto it then followed him covering the lean body with his own.

He scattered kisses all along Olli jaw line and throat as he unbuttoned the older man's shirt.

Once Olli's shirt was unbuttoned and un-tucked Christian attacked the pale taut flesh of his chest as Olli's fingers tangled in his hair.

Though he would have liked to give in Olli preferred that they talked first.

"Christian please, stop!"

Christian instead kissed him.

Olli planted a firm hand on Christian's chest. Pushing him away Olli wiggled out from underneath the blond.

"What?" Christian demanded with a frown as he watched the older man sit up.

"Sex doesn't solve anything." Olli retorted.

"Solve what?" Christian enquired as he watched Olli button up his shirt and sat up himself.

"I'm an ex-addict." Olli said firmly.

"So?" Christian asked and leaned in to kiss him but this time Olli backed away.

"So how do you feel about me now?" Olli demanded to know looking at Christian's face intently

"Do you still use?" Christian asked in an irritated tone.

"No, Of course not" Olli answered with vehemence.

"Am I going to find you passed out on our bathroom floor?" Christian quizzed him.

"No you won't," Olli answered

"I'm sorry I backed away when you tried to kiss me. But finding out my boyfriend is an ex-addict kinda knocked the wind out of my sails." Christian said and put his arm around Olli's shoulder.

"Forgive me." The blond requested looking into the green eyes.

"There's nothing to forgive." Olli said and smiled.

"Now may I kiss you?" Christian asked pouting.

"Sure," Olli said and proceeded to push Christian back onto the couch.

It would be a good hour before Olli would get a chance to go downstairs and check up on Miriam and consult with Gregor.

Their time together as a couple was quiet identical to the way they spent it before they became a couple. They ate breakfast together which Olli prepared then headed to their individual jobs and on days Olli went in late the older man would head back to bed to take a nap once Christian left for school.

They prepared dinner together and ate while exchanging details about their day before Olli headed down to No Limits on the days he had the night shift and on his nights off they'd watch a movie together.

The big difference was that weekends they had breakfast in bed; which sometimes Christian would be the one to prepare now that Olli had started teaching him to cook.

And on some nights when Olli didn't have to go to No Limits they indulged in activities which were far more enjoyable than anything that was playing on the television.

Olli was going thru the mail when he came upon an envelope marked URGENT in red.

He ripped it open, and quickly read the single sheet of paper he had pulled out.

"Shit! I'd completely forgotten," he exclaimed and slapped his forehead.

Christian who had been sitting at the dining table reading a school text preparing lecture notes looked up at him in alarm,

"What did you forget?" he asked Olli with a frown.

"My stuff. It's still in storage." Olli answered

"Your stuff?" Christian's curiosity was piqued

"Yah from the time I used to live here before I went off to sea."

"You have more stuff!" The blond exclaimed.

"Yah some pieces of furniture and my old bike. I have to go pick them up before the storage company auctions them off."

"When do you have to go get them?" the younger man enquired.

Olli checked the dates. "I have to empty the space by this Sunday."

"Okay we'll go down there on Saturday. We'll hire moving vans"

"One van should be more than enough. I have a single bed, my old desk, a couple of chairs and my bike. I can drive my bike back here."

"Olli your bike will have to be transported by van as well. After being locked up for so long it'll be in dire need of servicing." Christian informed him knowledgably.

Olli had to agree with Christian's logic.

"I hope it is serviceable it's a damn old model," he finally said

"Which one is it?" the blond enquired

"A 1992 K75 I bought it second hand" Olli crowed proudly

"It's like the grand dad of my K1200GT." Christian scoffed

"It maybe old but that baby runs like butter when she's in top form. Yours it's just so so."

"Come on. Mine is an upgraded model. You have to agree mine is bigger and better" Christian declared.

"As if? It may be bigger but that doesn't make it better" Olli countered .

Suddenly Olli heard a click.

Olli sensed they had an eaves dropper and said loudly

"Oh can we please not get into the 'mine's bigger than yours' debate." And pointed towards the slightly open front door.

Christian got into the game and answered back just as loudly. "You know it is after all a valid point of debate. And I say mine is bigger than yours."

"Okay yours bigger than mine. There I said it." Olli answered and suppressed the laugh bubbling inside him.

Christian got up and slowly approached the door.

"As if there was ever any doubt. And I'm sure Miriam will agree with me." Christian finished a little too loudly when he spied the top of a blond head.

"Miriam I know you're out there so why don't you come in and tell Olli that mine is bigger." Christian invited her in.

Red faced Miriam entered she looked from Christian's straight face to Olli's smirking one, and gulped.

"How am I supposed to know?" The blonde girl mumbled out turning a deeper shade of red.

"Miriam its basic math a 1200cc motorbike is definitely bigger and better than a 750cc one isn't it?"

"You were arguing over bikes?" the truth dawned and Miriam's face slowly turned to its normal shade.

"Yah! Of course. What else would we be arguing about?" Christian queried as he crossed his arms over his chest and frowned at her.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." Miriam mumbled and tried to escape.

Olli couldn't suppress his guffaw.

"You know Miriam curiosity killed the cat and eavesdropping on private conversations is gonna give you a heart attack." Olli advised wisely before the boyfriends burst out laughing as they looked at Miriam's flustered expression.

"I didn't mean to eaves drop I just came to tell you that the bachelor party we had been booked for, that group has arrived. So we need you downstairs."

Christian gently told her patting her head.

"Next time ring the bell. It's been put there for that very purpose."

Miriam fled.

"And you," Christian said pointing at Olli "better take back the key you gave her."

"I'm on it. But her face... I've never seen her turn that shade of pink ever before."

They both collapsed into each other's arms laughing.

Chapter End Notes:

Olli's bike

Christian's bike

.dk/images/Walls_3/BMW-K1200GT-2003%

**CHAPTER 35 - Truths, Trust and Everything in Between**

Christian sat in the teacher's lounge staring at the old picture of Olli on his laptop.

Mentally he made two lists

Florian...

Drunk,

Roofie,

Crass,

One night stand.

Olli...

Teetotaller,

Food,

Gentle,

Love.

He hadn't seen any part of Florian in Olli. It was like they were two completely different people. Should he confront Olli he wondered. But what purpose would that serve? Except open up a whole can of old worms.

He was happy with Olli. It was best for everyone if Florian stayed buried.

"Ooooo! Hey isn't that the hottie from No Limits." Nina the English teacher's voice broke into his thoughts as she came and stood beside him and turned the laptop towards herself.

"Yah! It is."

"What're you doing with a picture of his?" she asked with a curious frown.

"Wellll, I guess it's natural to have picture of your boyfriend to show off isn't it."

"Oh Great!" Nina humphed and plopped down on the chair beside him.

"Oh the agony! The pain! The suffering! Why are all thee hot guys gay?" she said wiping away a fake tear and for effect fake blew her nose noisily.

Christian laughed, "No wonder you're in charge of the drama department."

"So is he hot in bed." the girl asked with a waggle of his brows

"Sorry Nina I don't kiss and tell."

"You're no fun." Nina said with a pout.

"Sorry m'lady you'll have to find someone else to spill their bedroom tales. Coz this guy here ain't saying a word." Christian informed her chivalrously

"He's lucky. Wish Paul was more like you." she said with obvious envy.

"Did he do it again?"

"Yah! I'm not a prize horse. The way he always shows me off."

"You should have dumped him ages ago." Christian advised.

"Herr. Mann a word with you," the lady commanded shortly

"Sure Mrs. Jorgen." Christian immediately stood up in greeting

"I hope you are aware that a student of yours is mooning over you," she informed him tactlessly

"Madam, you don't have to worry I will handle the situation tactfully and carefully."

"I hope so. This is why we don't hire male teachers here. The situation could get messy," the principal almost sneered.

"Madam please put your mind at ease. I will never do anything to jeopardize the name of the school and most importantly my teaching career," Christian's heart sank.

Olli entered the flat a little after 2 in the morning. He opened the fridge to take out the bottle of water when he felt two arms encircle his waist from behind. He jumped in fright and almost dropped the bottle.

"God Christian you scared me." Olli rebuked Christian as he turned and hugged his boyfriend.

Letting go of Olli Christian went and sat on the couch as Olli switched on the lights.

Noticing the expression on Christian's face he asked in concern, "Alles Okay." and sat down beside Christian.

Christian instantly lay down in Olli's lap. Burying his face in Olli's midriff he whispered, "Nein, nichts ist okay."

"What's wrong?" Olli asked as he ran tender fingers through Christian's hair.

"You remember that student I told you about." Christian mumbled into Olli's stomach

"The one who you thought had a crush on you?"

"Ya, it was confirmed today and the principal was the one who confirmed it. Then she warned me."

"Warned you? About what? She thinks that you'll suddenly go straight or something?" Olli enquired puzzled.

Christian looked up and gave a hollow laugh, "Can you believe it?"

"SO what're gonna do?" Olli questioned.

"Frankly, I have absolutely no idea." Christian said and sat up.

"My first job and I might get kicked out because some little girl has taken a fancy to me. And the principal thinks that I would take advantage of it. Years of hard work down the fucking drain."

"Christian calm down. The girl hasn't made any advances on you and you definitely won't make advances on her. So stop worrying. I'm sure the principal just wants you to stay on your guard that's why she warned you. They all like you there don't they?"

Christian nodded his head to indicate a positive answer.

Christian laid his head on Olli's shoulder as the older man put his arm around the blond and pulled him close.

"Now stop worrying your fuzzy little head. Crushes pass within weeks she'll be over you in no time. This time next month she'll have a crush on Hugh Jackman or some other movie star or pop star and you'll be just her teacher once more." Olli told him.

"I hope you're right," Christian mumbled snuggling into Olli.

Olli watched him yawn and yawned himself.

"Now my sexy coach shall we go to bed."

"Sure." Christian said but made no attempt to get up.

Christian slowly walked his fingers up Olli's thigh and then up his chest.

Olli watched the progress of his boyfriend's fingers.

"What are you doing?" Olli asked cocking one eyebrow and pinning his boyfriend with his green gaze.

"Trying to seduce you."

"Oh baby you had me seduced at hello,"

"That's the cheesiest line I've heard," Christian said laughing.

"Why? It worked for Tom Cruise didn't it?" Olli said and giggled.

"You're nuts." Christian said laughing and tweaked his boyfriend's nose.

"Yup, I'm nuts. Nuts about you." Olli said his eyes bright and trusting as he kissed Christian.

Christian heart gave a twinge. Should he tell Olli? No, then he would only lose him.

He wrapped his arms around Olli to pull him flush against his body and deepened the kiss to block out all other thoughts.

**CHAPTER 36 - Red and Green and A Side Of Pickles**

Christian loved Saturdays. Saturdays meant he could hang around No Limits eat as many croissants, brownies and other sweet nibbles he could lay his hands on and at regular intervals kiss his boss for the weekend.

As he picked up yet another croissant Olli remarked, "You do know that those have been kept there to be sold to paying customers."

Christian gave a pout and whined, "It's just my first Olli,"

"No, My love that's your third. It's a wonder that you aren't big as a house the way you keep eating."

"There I'm not eating it!" Christian scowled as he flung it back on the tray, "Satisfied!"

"Christian I didn't mean..."

Christian just headed off to take an order with a hissed, "Screw you!" at Olli

As he handed the order to Miriam, he startled when Olli who had been speaking on the phone started hopping in glee.

"What's with him?" Christian asked Miriam, "He's your boyfriend, you ask him." she answered with a sweet smile.

"Tschuss!" Olli ended the call a wide grin plastered on his face.

Turning to Christian he kissed him and said, "Guess who that was",

"I don't know," Christian answered, "Ummm ...Anna Maria Kaufman."

Olli giggled, "No, you remember I had told you I wanted to book that awesome event manager for Charley's wedding."

"Yah, but they said that he was booked solid for the next six months."

"They had a cancellation, groom ran away with the mother in law or something of the sort. But now that he has an opening he will take us. After all it is the wedding of Charlotte Schneider and Sascha Groebel. He said he'll make it the biggest event of the year."

"That's fantastic!" Christian said as he kissed Olli, he was just as overjoyed that Charley would be getting her dream wedding.

"I know." Olli couldn't stop smiling.

"So when is he coming?" Christian asked.

"In an hour or so if traffic isn't bad."

Their earlier tiff forgotten Christian picked up his abandoned croissant and bit into it.

Olli smirked at him.

"Was?" Christian asked his mouth full and a frown marring his handsome face.

"Nothing," Olli answered smiling and kissed his boyfriend on the cheek.

Christian watched the man enter No Limits. He was a bit under dressed for the cold early February weather.

*_A connoisseur of fashion I see_ * was Christian's first thought.

He watched the man approach the bar counter and ask for Oliver Sable.

*_So this was the event manager. Looks more like a clothes horse_.* Christian thought with a dismissive smile.

For the first few days, his contact with Robert Marenbach was minimal as the man would be on his way out of No Limits after discussing arrangements and plans for the wedding by the time Christian returned home from school.

But then the next Saturday Christian noticed something that made his back arch like an alley cat's.

Robert who preferred being call 'Rob' took every opportunity to touch Olli.

A touch on his arm, a touch on his knee or his shoulder, but Christian controlled his jealousy.

Christian finally saw red when Rob playfully pinched Olli's cheek.

He was about to do something about it when Judith came in and gave him a tight hug instantly distracting him.

As they sat talking Christian couldn't help keep glancing at the corner table where Rob and Olli sat.

"Oooo do I see the green monster raising its angry little head?" Judith enquired with a teasing smile.

"No, of course not." Christian answered too quickly proving Judith right.

"Christian you do know I'm not blind. The way you're gripping your glass I think you would prefer that it was that guy's neck." Judith remarked

"Just look at him." Christian almost spat.

"I see nothing extraordinary." Judith said giving Rob a thorough inspection

"The way he is behaving." Christian said trying to be more specific.

"What way is he behaving?" Judith asked puzzled

"He's touching Olli." Christian said blazing with anger.

"So?" she couldn't see anything extraordinary about it.

"I don't like it." Christian finally told her.

"Wow! If you get any more jealous I'm sure green steam will shoot out your ears." Judith joked trying to deflate his bad mood.

"Thanks. You're a true friend" He answered sarcastically, "there that guy is fingering my boyfriend and here you're making fun of me."

"Calm down Christian. Don't you trust Olli at all?"

Christian instantly felt ashamed, Judith knew exactly how to put everything into perspective.

"Yes, of course I trust him." he answered meekly.

"Then stop behaving like scalded cat and go introduce yourself." Judith advised

"He already knows who I am." Christian said petulantly

"Then go and show some interest in the wedding plans. Do I have to think of everything?" his longtime best friend said.

Christian got up intending to follow Judith's advice when she caught his hand

"But before that, could you make me a chocolate blackberry apple ginger milkshake."

"Yuck!" he said and shuddered

"I'm pregnant schatz and that's what I crave." Judith said smiling sweetly then added "Make sure you put extra whipped cream on top and bring a side of pickles".

"Double Yuck!" Christian said and gagged.

Once he had served Judith Christian went and sat down beside Olli.

He draped arm around Olli's shoulders as if marking his territory.

"So how are the plans coming along.?" he asked

"They're coming along." Olli said a tinge of frustration in his tone.

"Oh Chrissie baby, Nice of **you** to join us." Rob's chirpy greeting only made Christian want to strangle him but he squashed his first instinct and instead said, "SO what theme have you chosen."

"Paris in Winter," Rob said theatrically waving his hands making a semi circle in the air and looking dreamily at the ceiling.

Christian snorted, *_a 'Winter' theme for a late spring wedding_,* you can always trust wedding planners to come up with something absurd.

Olli suddenly said very sweetly to Christian, "Why don't you and Rob talk for a bit while I go check up on Miriam and Anna." and getting up he left the two blondes together.

Rob gave Christian a crooked smile and said, "Olli told me you work as a teacher."

"Yah!"

"What do you teach the little kiddies?," Rob asked smirking.

"Rob I'd hardly call my 11th and 12th graders 'kiddies'." Christian answered shortly

"Ooooo... any of them hot?" Rob enquired waggling his brows.

"Rob that's sick." Christian hissed cringing in disgust.

"Relax Chrissie I'm just pulling your leg. I didn't mean to insinuate anything. No offence," Rob apologized sincerely.

"None taken," Christian said in a tone which communicated the exact opposite to Rob.

"Olli is right you **are** really cute when you're angry." Rob said chuckling and pinched Christian's cheek.

Christian gaped at the man, what was this Rob character's game he wondered.

**CHAPTER 37 - Rob A Big Pile Of Floating Hearts.**

**Rob is in Love**!  
Oh This is it!  
I finally found someone, someone to share my life  
I finally found the one to be with every night  
Cause whatever I do  
Its just got to be you  
My life has just begun, I finally found someone  
And whatever I do  
Its just got to be you  
My life has just begun  
I finally found someone  
- _Barbra Streisand and Bryan Adams_

**CHAPTER 37 - Rob A Big Pile Of Floating Hearts.**

"So do you really wanna help with the planning or did you come to keep an eye on Olli and me to make sure I wasn't trying some hanky panky with him," Rob enquired with a knowing smile.

"I...ummm...," Christian slammed his mouth shut he had never been so embarrassed in his life. Rob had caught on to his behaviour very quickly.

"There's no need to apologize, I am used to it, my Lu is exactly like you. If he catches another man even looking at me he turns the brightest shade of green. You two are like peas in a pod. But things have been easier since the ceremony." Rob confided to Christian

"Since the ceremony?" Christian asked with a puzzled frown

"Our commitment ceremony," Rob explained and held up his right hand to show off his humongous gold ring peppered with diamonds.

He rolled his eyes and continued "I know it's on the wrong finger but Lu got my size wrong and I'm just too superstitious to have it resized."

"How long have you been married?" Christian asked curiously

"A little over six months. You're still very young Christian so you can't imagine what it's like to be loved like that. Even the jealousy is endearing. Olli may get peeved at you for it but he knows that you love him. One piece of advice though try to tone it down a little kiddo, otherwise you may end up chasing him away." Rob advised patting him on his back.

"So how about we both get chummy and you show some interest in the wedding plans. Just for Olli's sake hmmm." Rob said with a gentle smile.

Christian soon realized that this Rob character wasn't up to anything, other than help Olli give Charley the dream wedding she truly deserved.

Christian also realized that Rob was just an over affectionate guy who patted and hugged people at the smallest of provocations as he had been on the receiving end of Rob's sudden affectionate behaviour as well.

And Rob loved to talk about his 'Lu'.

God alone knew what Rob's husband's full name was coz once he started singing 'Lu's' praises there was no stopping him.

A few days later as Christian and Olli sat down for dinner the conversation inevitably turned to the wedding plans and at the slow pace at which they were proceeding because some or the other thing would remind Rob of his husband and that would set him off with yet another series of anecdotes about Lu

"I understand that he's in love but this constant floating hearts around his head is a bit nauseating," Olli griped.

"They're still in the honeymoon stage and the impression I got was that for Rob that acceptance, that love was very hard fought for." Christian opined.

"Yah!" Olli agreed, "Finally having a family again is a big deal for him. I thought I had a terrible outing because my mother disowned now I have realized that I was one of the lucky ones. Rob had it so much worse he was bashed within an inch of his life by his own brothers when he came out."

"Bloody Shit! That's terrible." Christian exclaimed in horror.

"Yah! tell me about it. Your own blood behaving like that with you. They'd rather have you dead than be gay." Olli said with disgust.

They sat in silence each contemplating their own thoughts when suddenly Christian chuckled, "Did you at least finally come to know what Lu is short for ... Luan, Luciano, Luboslaw, Lukas... Lucifer?"

"Christian I try not to say any word that starts with an L around him. I swear if I hear another 'My Lu does this' or 'My Lu said that' I'm definitely going to strangle him."

As they lay in bed that night Christian suddenly said ,"Being in love is a great feeling isn't it?"

"Umm Hmmm" Olli mumbled as he was already on his way to dreamland.

Christian watched Olli sleep.

Carefully lifting the sleeping man's hand to his lips he pressed a kiss on the back of Olli's hand.

Cuddling closer to Olli he softly whispered in his ear, "I love you so much, I hope you can forgive me for my omission, for not telling you the truth."

Pressing a gentle kiss on Olli's cheek he laid his head on the sleeping man's chest and was lulled to sleep by the steadily beating strong heart.

Chapter End Notes:

Rob's 'Lu'

.com/getattachment/d06ee6cc-fca6-4227-83aa-15775cb03d7d/ben_?height=486&width=649

So my dear ones what do you think of this interpretation.

I wrote this after I saw 'Speed Dating'

Please Read and review.

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**CHAPTER 38 - An Accident and An Old Wound**

"FUCK!"

The loud exclamation rang out through the flat share and was followed by uproarious laughter.

Christian could make out the laughter was Olli's. But who did the loud cuss belong to?

Intrigued Christian walked out to the living room. The scene that greeted him made him laugh as well.

Rob was standing at the kitchen island an empty can of coconut milk in his hand and a hapless expression on his face as he watched the coconut milk that he had managed to dump on himself slowly dripped off his clothes.

"What happened here?" Christian asked as he tried to control his laughter.

"What do you think?" Rob snapped, "Stupid tin wouldn't open so I gave the cover a mighty tug and now it's all over me. I wanted to learn Thai curry from Olli but now the coconut milk is all gone. Now what am I supposed to do? I wanted to learn it so I could make it for Lu's birthday on next Saturday because it's his favourite and this is his first birthday after our wedding. I'm so stupid. I'm the biggest idiot on the planet and the worst cook in the universe." Rob ranted in despair as tears filmed his soft grey eyes.

Olli gently patted his shoulder, "Hey, hey calm down. It was an accident. It's just four in the evening; the supermarket is right round the corner. We'll get as many cans as you need. Okay," Rob tearfully nodded.

"Now go to the bathroom and take a shower and I'll find something for you to wear." Olli instructed the man and pointed him towards the bathroom.

They heard the shower run.

"Christian I guess we'll have to give him something of yours coz he ain't gonna be able to fit into anything of mine."

Christian dutifully went and brought Olli a pair of his Khakis and a shirt.

Olli knocked on the bathroom door and entering hung the clothes on the towel rack.

"He definitely is silly. Why does he have to cook? What's so great about cooking for someone anyway?"

Olli cocked an eyebrow, "It is considered an expression of love schatz, and you seem to have conveniently forgotten that I cook for you."

Christian looked at Olli's annoyed face and realized his comment had been completely inappropriate.

Rob came out and looked around like a chastised child.

Approaching Christian he mumbled shyly, "Thanks for the loan,"

"How do you know they're mine?" Christian was stumped.

"The colours are too sober to be Olli's" Rob said and smiled at Christian, "where is Olli anyway?" he asked Christian

"He went to get some tetra packs of coconut milk so there isn't a replay of the coconut milk bath scene." Christian informed him and managed to extract an embarrassed smile from Rob.

They sat in silence as Christian flipped through a magazine.

"I hope you don't mind that I will have to keep Olli busy coz I wanna give Lu a big birthday bash here at No Limits this Saturday." Rob suddenly said

"Nope, I don't mind. I'll even help in the arrangement if required." Christian replied giving Rob a winning smile.

"By the way what is Lu's given name," Christian asked, it was high time that mystery was unraveled

Rob frowned in confusion "His name?" Christian nodded, "Oh I never did tell either of you guys did I? I'm feel so stupid now. It's Lukas Kaiser-Wulf."

"Oh very royal name I see. Is he of royal blood?" Christian asked playfully but Rob just took him seriously

"No, sadly he isn't, but he is my prince charming. Have I told you how we met It was just like out of a movie. I was hired by his sister to plan her wedding and he being gay and all was assigned to help me. We hated each other at first sight but then something happened we started to get along, became friends even. I fell for him but he was always standoffish I was sure there was no future for us. The day his sister got married that night he invited me back to his place I thought it was for a date but he said he wanted to go over the final expenditures so that he could cut me a check. You won't believe how heartbroken I felt as I had headed over to his place that night but he really did arrange a candle light dinner for two with all the trimmings. I never thought I'd get that lucky. ..." and Rob was lost in his reminisces.

Christian rolled his eyes in irritation this was the third time he had heard that story. He let Rob ramble on and waited patiently for Olli's return.

He was happily thankful when Olli returned back home in a few minutes.

As Olli put away his purchases and Rob babbled on non stop Christian whispered in his boyfriend's ear, "Don't ever leave me alone with that guy again."

"Why what happened? He started with his Lu stories again,"

"Yah! What else? But atleast I was able to extract his name this time. It's Lukas." Christian declared with a grin.

Hearing Lukas's name mentioned Rob came over as well.

"Yah that's his name." Rob said proudly.

Olli stared at the two blondes and swallowed in fear, "Lukas?" he choked out.

"Yup, Lukas Kaiser- Wulf. That's his name." Rob said again with a wide grin.

Olli let out a relieved breath all that went through his mind was *_It isn't him_*

As Olli put the last touches on the 'Happy Birthday Lukas' banners. The apprehension he had felt since the first time he heard that name gnawed at him again. But that was impossible. Firstly, this Lukas was not only married but he was married to a MAN. Secondly and most importantly the last names didn't match.

All dressed up Olli tried to calm down. Trust Rob to completely catch Olli off kilter.

Rob had very off handedly told Olli "We'll be having some extra guests on Saturday night for Lu's birthday. You see he has such important clients we have to invite everyone of them."

Telling Olli only 48 hours in advance that he was inviting 225 people instead of just 25 was bad enough but then telling him that those 'extra' 200 included the richest people of Düsseldorf was unforgivable.

The Von Lahnsteins were coming!

That meant the press would be crawling all over the place.

*I hope they like the arrangements we've made*

One bad review and No Limits might as well shut down for good.

Gregor and he had to scurry around like squirrel getting ready for the winter to arrange everything on time. Luise and Christian had pitched in so the work load had been lightened. Especially Luise's knowledge of arranging galas and every kind of large function had come in very handy and cut their work by half.

Chicly decorated No Limits was almost unrecognizable now. But even then this would be Olli's first time arranging such a huge event. Unable to control himself Olli headed to the bathroom and threw up again. He bent over the toilet bowl until his stomach was empty and the dry heaves had abated.

He splashed water on his face then gargled to refresh his breath

Olli was overcome with a feeling of impending doom and it had him in a vice like grip. He jumped in fright when his cell phone suddenly buzzed. He flipped it open after reading Miriam's name

"Hello," he said into the mic mentally crossing his fingers and praying that there wasn't any trouble in No Limits.

"Olli, Miriam here, the caterers are have arrived,"

Olli checked his watch and felt like jumping in joy, "They're early!"

"I know," Miriam answered and giggled.

"What about the food?" he asked hoping there wasn't a problem there.

"They're setting up as we speak and I think it's more than enough and the aroma Olli, mmmm... it's making MY stomach growl. The head chef wants to talk to you though about the dessert."

"I'll be right down. By the way is Christian down there."

"Olli food is here so it's obvious he'd be here as well. I think the chefs are going to kill him coz he's already got that gleam in his eye and has started poking around."

"Okay I'm coming. Try to keep him away from the food until I get there." Olli said and laughed.

He hurried down stairs and found exactly what he had expected Christian was going round lifting lids off dishes and sniffing at the contents.

"Christian heel," Olli whispered in his boyfriend's ear.

"Olli I was just looking," Christian whined

"Yah, of course," Olli said a knowing smile on his face.

"Honest, Scout's honor," Christian swore

"Okay, I believe you. Now go get dressed." Olli instructed giving him a playful pat on his butt and pushed him towards the stairs.

Olli looked around No Limits and admired all their hard work as he sipped a glass of mixed juice.

Everything looked perfect. Nothing could spoil this evening except... his constant urge to throw up. Olli headed to the restroom to vomit out the miniscule amount of juice and the few pretzels he had just consumed. As he washed up he realized the last time he had been in this state it was right before his college exams which he had invariably flunked. He hoped this wasn't a sign from above that this night was going to be a major disaster as well.

Tightly gripping the rim of the wash basin he rebuked himself

"No, I have to be positive. And anyway there is no chance anything can go wrong. This is just my insecurities filling me with doubt," He blew out a long breath smoothing his coat and buttoning it he instructed himself, "Get a grip Olli and think positive,"

The next couple of hours flew by in a blink of eye and the next thing Olli knew was No Limits was filled with diamonds and furs. Keeping the crème de la crème entertained was a little difficult as they weren't the regular party crowd. There was still no sign of Rob or his husband. Worst of all the party planner's cell phone was switched off as well.

As time passed Olli could make out that the guests were slowly started to get pissed off. He couldn't help but hear the snide comments that were being passed in honey and milk tones.

When the clock struck nine and there was still no sign of the pair in whose honor the event had been organized Olli finally gave into his panic and scurried off to the flat. He didn't want to be present when the invitees started to curse him and then leave in a huff.

Olli sat in the dark bedroom contemplating the impending humiliation when Gregor came in a wide grin on his face,

"Hey! Good news the birthday boy and his better half have finally shown up." Gregor informed him.

"Really!" Olli jumped up, "Thank God"

"It's crazy down there! I was sure all of them were about to trash the place right before Rob arrived. But now that they've arrived the guests have finally calmed down." Gregor told him, "I'm gonna take a break from the madness if you don't mind,"

"I completely understand, go put your feet up for a little while, Christian and I'll manage just fine,"

Reinvigorated Olli headed down to the bar. As soon as he entered Rob instantly approached him and started to apologize profusely,

"I'm so sorry but the Thai Curry was such a hit that our afternoon celebrations went on for too long and we fell asleep," Rob said and blushed.

"I'm just glad you made it before they lynched me," Olli replied with a small laugh.

"I'm really sorry," Rob said again.

"Well what's done is done. Now won't you introduce me to the birthday boy?"

"Oh of course definitely." Rob said and grabbing Olli's arm almost dragged him towards the center of the crowd of well wishers towards a tall well built figure of a man who had his back turned to Olli as he stood speaking to Christian

Whatever he had said had elicited a genuine smile from Christian which was definitely a good sign as Christian usually did not warm up to strangers so quickly or easily.

Christian saw him approaching and waved him over with a

"Hey Olli, we finally get to meet the elusive Lu,"

Christian's words made the man turn around and Olli couldn't help but stare in shock

Lukas's smile disappeared as well and he stared back at Olli as if he had seen a ghost.

Olli stopped in his tracks and stood gaping at the man he had desperately prayed, actually begged God, he'd never encounter again. The man who had sparked the beginning of the worst phase of Olli's life.

**CHAPTER 39 - Crash and Burn**

Rob walked over to his husband and linked his arm with Lukas's

"Lu you've already met Christian and this is Oliver Sabel co owner of this bar."

"And Olli this is my husband Lukas Kaiser-Wulf. Isn't he something else?" Rob preened and kissed Lukas's cheek.

Olli limply held out his hand and said weakly, "He's something else alright. Nice to meet you Lukas." Olli prayed he hadn't been recognized.

Lukas took his offered hand and stared at Olli very intently a deep frown creasing his forehead.

"Oliver Sabel? Olli ! It is you, isn't it? How have you been buddy." Lukas said and firmly shook Olli's hand.

Olli quickly tugged him again away and gulped his mind slowly started to blank.

"Do you already know each other?" Rob asked eaten by curiosity.

"We used to be flat mates." Lukas informed his husband and gave Olli a cordial smile.

Though he was wearing a deep V-neck t-shirt Olli suddenly felt like he was being choked. Looking around in panic he mumbled, "I'll be right back," and fled towards the stairs his only aim to cocoon himself in the sanctuary of the flat. He felt like his heart was being squashed in his chest. He rubbed the general area hoping to sooth the tightness in his chest. It was so cold when had the air conditioning been lowered to that extent he wondered. He shivered as dizziness and nausea overcame him. Finally came welcome darkness his only respite.

Christian had watched in concern as Olli had paled after being introduced to Robert's partner. His concern had turn to full blown alarm as he had watched Olli stumble towards the stairs and then suddenly collapse into a heap.

Running over to the motionless figure on the floor he fell to his knees beside him. Turning Olli over onto his back he gently patted his boyfriend's cheek, "Olli, come on wake up." There was no response. Seeing that Olli's usually pink lips were turning blue he yelled to Miriam, "Call an ambulance." The waitress who looked like she was close to tears hurriedly dialed emergency. She stammered out the cause of her call and gave No Limits' address.

"Olli! Oh God! Dammit! Please wake up!" Christian scooped up Ollie and cradled him against his own chest. Placing a gentle kiss on the now sheet white forehead he waited for the ambulance hoping against hope Olli would make it.

Just as the emergency medics were placing Olli on the gurney Gregor came hurrying down, "I heard the sirens. What happ..." he stopped midway when his eyes fell on the occupant of the gurney

"Oh God! Olli? Christian! What happened?"

"I don't know." Christian exclaimed raking a finger thru his hair. "He just collapsed."

"Are you family?" one of the medics asked addressing Christian and Gregor.

"No, but I'm his boyfriend." Christian mumbled. The medic made an unsavory face but continued flatly, "Please inform his family there will be hospital formalities to be taken care of." His duty done the medic jumped into the back of the ambulance and shut the doors. The ambulance took off sirens ringing, lights blazing.

As they all sat in the visitor's area. All kinds of thoughts crowded Christian's brain. There could be a million causes behind Olli's sudden collapse.

Olli was an ex-addict which increased his chances of developing something severe - coronary failure, a burst aneurysm, multiple organ failure, heart attack , all of which were fatal.

Christian controlled himself as long as he could. But when he saw the motionless form of Olli lying hospital gurney and being wheeled out of the examination room to a private room the tears finally escaped his eyes and trickled down his cheeks. Gregor came and sat beside him. Hugging him Gregor whispered, "Don't worry he's going to be just fine."

Christian looked into his brother's eyes and said desperately, "What if he isn't? How will I go on?"

"Keep a positive attitude." Gregor advised.

Christian scoffed and looked away his eyes falling on the approaching form of the doctor. He sprang up and briskly walked over to the man.

"What happened? How is he?"


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 40 – Stay With Me…**

"What happened? How is he?" Christian demanded of the doctor

The middle aged doctor gave him a smile and replied, "He's fine now. He suffered an anxiety attack which was most probably aggravated and made more severe by the fact that he hadn't eaten anything all day."

"So what is his diagnosis? What special care do we have to take so that he doesn't suffer this again?"

"Just see that he doesn't face severe stress like he did today."

Christian let out a relieved breath,

"Can I see him?" Christian almost pleaded

"Go right ahead." the doctor smiled and gave the anxious man his permission.

Christian watched Olli sleep and just to reassure himself he placed his hand on Olli's chest.

He could feel the gentle rise and fall of his love's chest as he breathed. Still not satisfied Christian carefully placed his head on Olli's chest and heard the strong heart beating within. He raised his head to look at the beloved face, the paleness had been replaced by a healthy flush and the lips had regained their robust cherry blossom hue.

The doctor gently laid his hand on Christian's shoulder to get his attention,

"We have sedated him. He'll most probably sleep through the night," he whispered to Christian.

"May I stay with him?" Christian pleaded

"I'll see what I can do," the doctor informed him gently and headed out of the room.

Christian sat silently for a minute just gazing at the sleeping man who had captured his heart not once but twice in the same lifetime.

Leaning forward he kissed Olli's cheek and whispered in his ear, "Please be alright Olli. I need you. Till the moment I saw you lying there on the floor I hadn't realized just how much I love you. You are the most important person in my life."

Reassured that Olli was comfortably sleeping Christian went back out to the visitor's lounge.

"Can we see him?" Gregor and Charlie chorused.

"He's sleeping and most probably won't wake up again till morning."

"What was wrong with him?" Charlie wanted to know.

"He had an anxiety attack." Christian informed both Charlie and Gregor.

"An anxiety attack…" Charlie exclaimed in fear then muttered almost inaudibly , "Oh please God don't let it start again."

Though intrigued Christian ignored the comment and told both Gregor and Charlie to leave.

"Should I need something I'll call you." Christian assured his brother.

"Then good night Kleiner bruder. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

The nurse on duty was kind enough to have a recliner put in Olli's room so that Christian could sleep comfortably. But sleep eluded him he dozed for short intervals but would startle awake at the slightest of sound.

Olli slept peacefully without incident all through the night for a straight 12 hours.

Christian washed his face in the hospital bathroom and scrubbed his face dry. Running his fingers through his unruly dark blond mane to tame it into some kind of semblance he headed back out to Olli.

Christian let out a sigh of relief when he saw the green eyes open and alert.

He playfully greeted the man lying on the bed

"Hello my dainty little flower"

"Very funny Christian." Olli said making a face

All mirth left Christian's face and he said very seriously

"No it isn't."

Seeing Olli instant guilty expression he asked gently

"Is it true you hadn't eaten all day?"

"Man Christian I was so nervous about this whole event that I hadn't been able to keep anything down." Olli told him

"There isn't a dearth of juices in your very own bar." Christian suggested

"I threw that up as well." Olli informed him sheepishly.

"Well you had to stay overnight."

"What about the party?"

"Rob, Gregor and Miriam managed everything just fine. All you have to do is bask in the glory of the praises which have been showered on you courtesy the reviews."

"Really?"

"Yes! Really!"

"God Olli you scared me to death by collapsing like that." Christian uttered the words and let out a shuddering deep breath

"I'm sorry," Olli apologized, he gently ruffled Christian's hair and then caressed his cheek. Christian covered Olli's hand with his own. He held Olli's hand and pressed a gentle kiss on Olli's palm.

Olli tenderly caressed his love's stubbled cheek and felt overwhelmed when he saw the open trust and deep love in the azure eyes. He felt honored to be the object of this wonderful man's affection.

But at the same time he also knew that he really didn't deserve it. It was time to make a clean breast of things before Christian found out the truth about 'Oliver Sabel' from other source.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 41 – Can You Handle My Truth?**

Christian put his arm around Olli's waist as they walked back to the car after Olli was discharged from the hospital.

Olli leaned into him and rubbed his cheek against Christian's shoulder.

He liked this over protective caring side of Christian.

As they drove back to No Limits Christian kept glancing at Olli just to reassure himself that his love was really alright again.

After he parked the car outside No Limits Christian quickly ran around the hood of the car.

Opening the door on Olli's side he offered his hand to his boyfriend to help him climb out.

Olli gave a surprised laugh and teased, "Oooo! Thank You kind Sir!" as he took Christian's offered hand and climbed out.

Olli felt elated, if this was the kind of treatment that would be meted out to him by his boyfriend then he definitely loved being ill and would look forward to falling ill.

A couple of hours later though Olli was singing a very different tune; as Christian had almost smothered him to death with his constant attention.

"Come on eat up," Christian encouraged Olli as he placed another pancake on his plate.

"Oh God Christian! Enough! I can't swallow another bite! I'm full to my feet." Olli cribbed in annoyance.

"Stop mothering me."

"Olli I don't want a repeat of yesterday evening." Christian stated seriously

"Yesterday was a completely different scenario altogether. I was nervous because the crème de la crème of Düsseldorf were prancing around downstairs and I wanted them to like No Limits. Now that I have passed their test with flying colors I'm just fine," he informed Christian solemnly.

As Olli got up and picked up his plate Christian started to get to his feet as well

"Sit Back Down!" Olli commanded and Christian's butt promptly met the chair again.

"You have school tomorrow, don't you?" Olli demanded.

Christian meekly nodded

"Then why don't you prepare you lecture notes." Olli suggested

"Okay," Christian replied and reached for his satchel.

He watched Olli wash his plate and put it away.

As Olli headed towards the hall door to go to their bedroom probably to lie down Christian asked carefully

"You'll be fine won't you?"

"Christian you'll be right here in the living room. If I need anything you'll be just a holler away." Olli informed him and smiled

"Okay," Christian said and concentrated on the book he had placed in front of himself.

Olli walked into the hall that led to the bedrooms Before shutting the door behind himself Olli gave one last glance at Christian, *_My poor love I'm really sorry for all your troubles. I wish I could keep you forever. But I am what I am. And Oliver Sable doesn't deserve a man as wonderful as you. Tonight I'll confess and get out of your life before I destroy it completely_.*

As tears for his impending loss filmed Olli's eyes he quickly shut the door and hurried to the bedroom he had initially occupied when he had moved in with Christian. The room where he still kept his belongings.

He threw open his bags and started to pack.

Olli knew once Christian knew the truth he wouldn't want to be in Olli's company another second.

Olli gave a sad chuckle *_No_ _one likes a criminal my boy. Especially a criminal whose crime is so disgusting and heinous._*

He knew he would have to prepare himself and strengthen his heart as he would definitely witness the evaporation of Christian's affection for him and see it turn into pure and utter hate.

His packing done he went into their bedroom, but after tonight it's would again become Christian's bedroom, and lay down on Christian's side of the bed.

He would miss the feeling of a warm body lying next to him when he went to sleep every night and woke up every morning.

Bleary eyed half asleep Christian was just so adorable that Olli found himself falling even more deeper in love with the bedraggled blonde each new morning. With images of Christian whirling in his head Olli fell into a dreamless slumber.

"Olli, babe wake up." Christian softly whispered in the sleeping man's ear.

Olli opened his eyes and stretched, "What time is it?" he mumbled.

"Time for dinner," Christian sang out.

"Huh?" Olli felt confused and looked at the window.

"What time is it?" he asked again in urgency as he realized that it was pitch dark outside.

"It's nine at night," Christian informed him.

"What?" Olli exclaimed and quickly scrambled out of bed.

"Shit! I've gotta go down," he exclaimed to Christian and started to change his clothes.

"Whoa! You're going nowhere tonight." Christian grabbed him in a tight embrace. stopping his undressing Christian gave him a resounding kiss.

"But No Limits?" Olli said in a startled tone as he tried to pull away.

"Gregor can take care of the bar just fine all by himself, he's been lazing around a lot since you came along. It's time he did some work it'll do him good." Christian told him firmly, then he smiled, "I hope you're hungry coz food is ready,"

"What'd you cook?" Olli asked in alarm, he definitely wasn't in the mood for canned pasta.

"Don't worry I cooked nothing, I picked up the phone and had food delivered."

"What'd you get?" Olli asked in curiosity

"Morrocan!" Christian exclaimed in delight as he ushered Olli out of the bedroom to the dining room.

The food had heavenly.

Olli licked his fingers after the last morsel had been polished off.

"That was gooood." Christian said and gave a contented belch.

Olli laughed, Christian's appreciation of food was phenomenal.

The way he savored each bite of food was a pleasure to watch.

He could make even the most ordinary cook feel like a world renowned chef by the way he smacked his lips after the meal was over.

Olli got up and cleared away the dishes.

"Need some help?" Christian asked meekly the events of the morning still in his mind.

Olli smiled, "No, Thanks I can manage."

As he stood at the sink and washed up Christian moved over to the sofa and switched on the TV.

Olli sent secret glances over at a lazing Christian.

Tonight was almost like any other night.

Not just like but _**almost**_ like any other night.

Like any other night Christian was channel surfing while Olli did the dishes.

If it had been any other night once Olli was free of the last chore of the day he'd snuggle up to Christian and they'd watch any movie that caught their fancy or slip in a dvd. But in the last many months ever since they'd become a couple they had never ever seen a single movie all through till the end credits because half way through they'd find something far more pleasurable to do.

But tonight was going was going to be very different tonight was going to be a polar opposite. Instead of confirming their love with intimacy they would be ending everything with one clean break

*_Why did I screw up my life like this? Why? Now that I have everything I could have ever wanted or needed I have to give it all up because of that one mistake I made. That one foolish horrendous mistake has destroyed my life_.*

Olli heard crackling snaps as the glass he was rinsing disintegrated into a dozen pieces under the strong force of his tightly gripping hand.

He watched with rapt attention as blood started oozing out of the cuts where the glass had got embedded in his flesh but oddly it didn't hurt. All felt was a soul crushing numbness inside, as it sank in that he would soon have to give up the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Christian too heard a soft tinkle and looked over at Olli who was standing stock still by the sink staring down into it.

The odd expression on Olli's face made Christian uncomfortable.

Getting up he headed over to the kitchen alcove.

"Olli?" he softly called out trying to attract his boyfriend's attention, but he got absolutely no reaction.

He hurried over to the brunette wondering if Olli was experiencing another panic attack as he could see that Olli had turned visibly very pale for the second time in a space of 24 hours.

Christian ran around the counter and put his arms around Olli who jerked out of his blank stupor.

Christian saw the reddened water in the sink and noticed the shards still sticking out of Olli's fingers and palm.

"Shit! Olli, you've cut yourself that too pretty badly."

Olli looked down at his bleeding hand and mumbled, "This is nothing. What I have done is far worse."

"What? What did you say?" Christian questioned as he had been unable to make out a single syllable Olli had muttered.

Olli opened his mouth to repeat what he had said but Christian stopped him, "It can wait. First let's get your hand patched up."

He ran the faucet over Olli's hand to wash the soap off it .

Then still cradling Olli's injured hand in his own he led Olli to the sofa and carefully sat him down on it.

With tweezers Christian gently extracted every piece of glass that had embedded itself in Olli's pale flesh.

Once all the intruding particles had been got rid of Christian carefully cleaned the cuts and wiped off the congealed blood.

Finally he sprinkled antiseptic drops on the wounds before he bandaged up Olli's hand.

Olli watched Christian carefully and gently administer his shallow injuries. He took mental snap shots of the man who had come to mean so much to him. He would rather have his heart ripped out of chest than be parted from Christian.

But this was not to be. Christian deserved someone who was honorable and pure, Olli was far from pure and he definitely wasn't honorable not even by a long shot.

"There all done," Christian said and gently kissed Olli's bandaged palm, "there I even kissed it better. So the pain too is all gone, right?" Christian smiled at Olli.

Olli looked at Christian's innocent smiling face and his heart twinged.

Seeing the odd sad expression on Olli's face Christian was puzzled

"What?" Christian enquired a slight frown creasing his brow.

Building up courage Olli said in a bleak voice.

"Christian there's something I have to tell you."

"I know it already," Christian crowed.

"How… what….HOW?"

"You want to tell me that you love me. Right,"

Olli's felt a miniscule bit relieved *_so he doesn't know_ *

But then his relief disappeared just as quickly.

"Yes, I do love you." Olli confirmed "But that isn't it. I want to tell something completely different."

Getting up from the sofa he went and sat on one of the dining table chairs.

He had to put some distance between Christian and himself before he finally confessed his sins to the only man he had ever truly loved.

"Olli you're scaring me. Please what is it?" Christian asked and started to get up from the sofa.

"No, Christian please stay right there. If you come any closer I'll lose my courage. Please stay right there and just listen to me." Olli pleaded.

"You remember I told you what my life was like before I left here to go to sea." Olli enquired in a constricted voice.

"Yah! You had a boyfriend some doctor guy and when he broke up with you for a change of scenery you went off to sea." Christian said and watched as Olli's eyes developed a reminiscent glazed look.

Olli thought back to the time almost seven years earlier and started his narration

"I had a comfortable life back then. I was in a relationship with a young hunky doctor Tom Seifert. I was like any other guy in his early twenties. I loved attending college, had a live in boyfriend who was a gem and treated me like a prince. I worked for Charley and as I wasn't bad looking I modeled to pad my income. Life was good. I was happy. Until…"

"Until…?" Christian coached so that Olli would continue.

"Until my mother came to know about Tom and cut me off. I still had Charlie but being abandoned by my own mother hurt a lot. I had already taken to drinking when I was still a teen but after my mother cut me off for being gay it took its toll on me and I started drinking heavily. My grades fell and I had to drop out of college in my senior year that too. I was starting to get my life back on when I was dealt another blow. Tom broke up with me so that he could be reunited with his first love some guy who had moved to Munich a couple of years earlier. That started my true downward spiral. With Tom gone I couldn't afford to rent a flat on my meager income so I decided to take on flat mates. The first was Cecelia a pretty dark blonde girl who had wild hair which always looked wind blown even after a good brushing. She was a total neat freak always with a broom or mop or a duster in hand. I liked her as it meant I didn't have to do a single chore. The other was a guy named Bernny. A fun loving party boy just like me. He came from an affluent background but hated the showy life so had moved out but still had his hands deep in the family coffers so he never lacked money. He introduced me to the underground party scene especially the drug scene which was huge in those days. The all night raves were the in-thing at that time. Booze and drugs flowed freely. I loved the rocking life."

Christian's ears burnt as he took in the information.

"He showed me all kinds of tricks to get over a hangover quick and how to cover up effects of a drug binge. Money was no object as he paid for everything. I would always offer but he'd tell me 'it's just bits of paper who cares' I was having a ball. But things took a turn for the worst when I met this guy. He was this total stud…"


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 42 – Looking Back Over My Shoulder.**

**SIX YEARS EARLIER**

**End of March **

"_Oh! Hey! Good both of you are home." Cecelia chirped as she hurried into the flat share full of excitement._

"_Why what happened?" Bernny questioned her frowning at her._

"_We'd said we should get a new room mate now we can get 2"_

"_How?" Olli asked puzzled_

"_Nadja and her boyfriend Lukas are going to move in. we can split the rent five ways that'll save us all money." Cecelia told both the boys triumphantly._

"_That's really cool" Olli said enthusiastically. Finally he would be able to save money to buy that new seat cover for his bike._

_Cecelia bustled around busily giving everything another wipe down._

"_Cecelia Schatz will you please calm down they are just two ordinary people coming over to check an ordinary room and decide of they should rent it."_

"_But I want them to like our place," the girl whined_

"_They will." Olli told her firmly halting her nervous cleaning._

_Just then the bell chimed._

"_Oh God they're already here."_

"_Cecelia they aren't the royal family heck they ain't even nobility now calm down." Olli commanded and got up to door._

_Olli ushered in the couple but he couldn't squeak out a word thru his lips._

_Cecelia quickly made the introductions._

"_Olli this is Nadja Bjorgen and her boyfriend Lukas König"_

_He just dumbly stared at the tall hunk standing beside the blond girl. All that came to his mind was "WOW"_

_The man's hair was black like his own but he wore it in a buzz cut._

_AS he extended his hand towards Olli for a friendly shake Olli could see the muscles of his arm ripple._

_The guy was a complete and utter stud._

_Saying that he had developed a raging crush on his flat mate was an understatement. Olli was reduced to a mass of jelly when ever the guy was in his vicinity a fact that didn't go un noticed by either of his old flat mates._

**End of April **

"_Olli snap out of it will you. This constant drooling over that guy passed the point of disgusting the very next day after he came to live with us." Cecelia told him_

"_But Cecelia…"_

"_But Cecelia nothing. Grow a brain Olli the guy is straighter than straight so there isn't a chance that he'll suddenly swing the other way for you .Find another outlet sweetie please I'm begging you."_

**A few days later**

_Olli watched as Lukas came out of his room gym bag in hand._

"_Hey Bernny wanna hit the gym with me?" Lukas asked_

"_No can do. I have to be there for my shift at the construction site in half an hour." Bernny said quickly weaseling out of the invitation and just rushed out of the flat._

_Lukas watched Bernny leave then turned to Olli._

"_You got any plans Olli?" he asked_

"_Nah, I'm free till 6."Olli answered him eagerly_

"_So hit the gym with me." Lukas invited_

"_Okay sure just let me get my gym gear." Olli sprang out of the chair and literally ran to his room to get his gym clothes and bag._

_Olli walked on the treadmill at a steady pace his eyes fixed on the man working at the bench press_

"_Olli!" a surprised voice broke into his daydreams._

"_Hey Charlie what are you doing here."_

"_Exactly what you're doing here. Exercising"_

_His aunt followed his line of sight then chuckled and said_

"_Oooo. So it's not exercising that you're here for it's ogling."_

_Olli got off the treadmill let Charley get on _

"_Oh Charlie. I'm totally crushing on him." he told her sadly_

"_Nothing will come of it and you very well know it." Charley told him._

"_Yes I know he's straight. But can't I daydream."_

"_I'd say it's better you distract yourself." His aunt advised_

"_And how do you propose I do that?" he asked with a frown_

"_Simple go on a date with any of those three guys who at this very moment are busy ogling __**you**__."_

"_Which three?" Olli asked looking around intently_

"_That red head working with the dumbbells." She said nodding to a guy sitting on a bench who was at that moment wiping the sweat off his face._

"_That platinum blond in the green shorts at the exer-cycle and that big beefy one over there checking out his muscles in the mirror."_

"_I'd go for the red head if I were you." Charley advised. Olli skipped off to make a new acquaintance and hopefully come back with an offer for a date._

_The lights in the living room were dimmed down. _

_The couple on the couch sat comfortably close talking to each other in voices hardly above a whisper._

"_So Gabriel you're an architect."_

"_Yup," the red head answered as he watched Olli's hand slowly move up his arm._

"_Then what do you design?" Olli asked next._

"_This and that." Gabriel choked out as Olli gently caressed his neck and leaned towards him._

_Fire ignited between the red head and the brunette as their lips touched._

_Eager fingers unbuttoned shirts and flung them away their lips not parting even for a miniscule nano second._

_Eager hands explored the young muscled chest and then encircled each other as Olli pushed Gabriel back to lay him on the brown comfortable sofa._

_Their hands had just headed for each other's belts when the flat door was flung open as a man came in and flipped on all the lights bathing the room in brightness._

_Seeing two men on the sofa Lukas grimaced in disgust and spat out, "A faggot. I live with a faggot?" _

"_You perverts!"_

"_Olli get that thing off my sofa and outta here."_

"_I think I should leave."_

"_No Gabriel please don't go."_

_"He's going. He's definitely going." Lukas said as he bodily grabbed Gabriel and threw him out of the flat followed by his discarded shirt._

"_How dare you?" Olli screamed at Lukas._

"_You wanna get your sick jollies tickled do it somewhere else. This flat is a faggot free zone get it."_

"_You listen here." Olli yelled and got into Lukas's face._

_Lukas grabbed him by the arm and twisting it he hissed, "No you listen here you little shit. I don't want any of your faggoty behaviour exposed to my eyes. I knew you were a faggot when I moved in here. But I don't want your 'lifestyle' invading my life. Get it."_

"_This sofa is common property. We all have the right to us it any way we want."_

"_No you don't have that right. And if I ever see you on it with any of your sick friends ever again then you'll really regret it for all your life."_

_Olli watched in horror as Lukas lifted his fisted hand._

"_Lukas what the fuck!"_

_Cecelia screamed from the door._

_Turned around and gave a terrifying laugh then said with a cruel, "Nothing much just teaching junior here a few lessons in manners."_

_Olli polished the glasses and stacked them. The events of the previous night still sat heavily on his mind._

"_Why the long face Schatz? Didn't your date go well last night?" Charley asked the next morning when Olli came in for his shift._

"_It was a disaster." Olli confided_

"_How come? What did he do?"_

"_Poor Gabriel didn't do anything. It was Lukas?"_

"_Lukas?"_

"_Yah! Gabriel and I were making out on the couch and Lukas walked in. He created such a ruckus. He's such a bloody homophobe."_

"_Oh I'm so sorry darling." Charley sympathized._

"_He chased Gabriel out of the flat. And I'm sure he would have hit me if Cecelia hadn't gotten in the way."_

_Charlie hugged him._

"_Oh Schatz, it takes all kinds to make up the world. You just have to ignore them."_

_Olli wished he could follow his aunt's advice but it would be very difficult as Lukas lived with him and worst of all even after the events of the previous night his crush on Lukas had still not fizzled out._


	5. Chapter 5 Some Moments

Lets talk of a time

when we were still young

and life was simpler

All we needed was the music in our hearts

and the lyrics on our lips.

**CHAPTER 43 - Some Moments **

_Olli was thankful that Lukas wasn't home everyday so it was easier to control his feelings._

_With his job as a pilot for a courier service Lukas would be off somewhere flying half the week. _

_And when he was home he didn't lose a chance to pass a comment or throw some hurtful jibe Olli's way._

_But even the bad behaviour and blatant animosity that Lukas exhibited didn't dim the crush that Olli had on him._

_Olli came back home from his shift to find a sobbing Nadja sitting on the couch._

_"What happened?" he asked her in alarm._

_"Lukas is such an insensitive jerk" Nadja exclaimed and started to cry even harder_

_"Well he is a guy after all." Olli sympathized_

_"All I said was that I was going for the interview, just the interview for the job in Cologne and he blew up."_

_"That's odd. I thought he would be happy that you're trying to get a better job somewhere else after the horrible way your job at the T.V station here ended." Olli said in puzzlement._

_"I thought so too. But he said that if I loved him I wouldn't consider leaving Düsseldorf. And you know the funny thing __**he **__was the one who encouraged me to send in my demo tapes to that station in Cologne in the first place. Go figure."_

_"You want my advice. Go for the interview and if you get it tell him __**then**__. If his attitude is the same I'd say he doesn't love you enough and you'd be better off without him."_

_Olli words cheered her up. _

_"Now how about we go to the new club we were planning on seeing." Olli asked enthusiastically._

_"That'd be great. Just promise me you won't get drunk."_

_"Cross my heart and hope to die." Olli swore. _

_Breakfast eaten Olli washed the dishes and put them away._

_There were still a few hours before he would have to go to Schneider's for his shift._

_He switched on his laptop and signed into the social sites and chatrooms he was a member of. _

_Nothing on Facebook or Orkut other than some rubbish people begging him to add them to his friend list._

_Suddenly the icon of GayandHappy flashed which meant there had been a new post there._

_Hoping that it wasn't just another request to see his privates he maximized the window._

_As he read thru the post he realized it was from someone named Gast84 looking for help in coming out. _

_Olli remembered how it had felt so he quickly typed up a response and hit send. He hoped the boy would respond. He was sure that the person who had typed up the message was boy as Olli would bet a 1000 euros that the 84 in the boy's nickname was definitely his birth year._

_"Hey Olli," Lukas greeted Olli as he came into the flat share._

_"Hi," Olli answered in astonishment._

_"How was your shift?" Lukas asked him cordially._

_"Fine," the bartender answered cautiously then quickly darted into his room._

_The weeks passed swiftly and summer reached its peak._

_There seemed to be change in the air._

_Suddenly Lukas' attitude towards Olli changed as well. _

_He was friendly!_

_As the days passed Olli's friendship with Gast84 deepened and he told the young boy about his own problem. The boy was sympathetic to his dilemma but as he was younger than Olli he couldn't offer him any kind of useful advice but he was really sweet about it _

**_Halunke: I know he's straight. Hell he even has a very beautiful girlfriend. _**

**_Gast84: Why don't you try to distract yourself with something else? _**

**_Halunke: Like wat?_**

**_Gast84: Go jogging or maybe go boxing. That always helps me._**

**_Halunke: It is a good suggestion but I'm not much of a sportsman or an athlete for that matter._**

**_Gast84: Then you could join a book club._**

**_Halunke: A book club!_**

**_Gast84: Yah! It'll improve your vocabulary as well as keep you busy so you won't have much time to ponder that homophobic himbo_**

**_Halunke: Well I'll give it a try. Now tell me what's up with you. Still not sure huh?_**

**_Gast84: No I'm not sure. I just don't know how to be sure._**

**_Halunke: Everything for you started when that guy kissed you. Right?_**

**_Gast84: Yah._**

**_Halunke: And you've tried analyzing the kiss, your own everyday behaviour trying to see if you fit any of the gay stereotypes._**

**_Gast84: You won't believe how long I've been sitting staring at all my clothes wondering if what I wear is too gay._**

**_Halunke:_****_Maybe you should choose another tactic. Try and find out what you really want. Go straight to the source root of your problem._**

**_Gast84: Aha, ...and how?_**

**_Halunke: That's quite simple: Kiss the guy again._**

**_Gast84: Are you kidding me? That's just really daft._**

**_Halunke: That's not crazy at all. This way you can solve your problem once and for all. Afterwards you'll be completely sure. Either the kiss leaves you cold and you look for a girlfriend or it's hot like the first time and there no longer is a "maybe"._**

**_Gast84: If I just kissed him to find out that'd be just wrong, coz I don't have feelings for him other than as a friend. _**

**_Halunke : Not to question your noble mindedness but maybe you're just afraid._**

**_Gast84: I'm not afraid and anyway I can't kiss him even if I was attracted to him._**

**_Halunke : Why?_**

**_Gast84: Thing is he's already left the country. _**

**_Halunke: Are you that bad a kisser that he fled the country! _**

**_Gast84: No, he's backpacking across Europe with his boyfriend._**

**_Halunke: Well, then do the opposite._**

**_Gast84: Opposite?_**

**_Halunke: Yah, go on a date with a girl. Kiss her and see if there are sparks, then you can be sure it was a one time thing._**

**_Gast84: You really think that's gonna work._**

**_Halunke: Hey I guarantee that it'll work like a charm._**

**_Gast84: It can't hurt anyway._**

_Olli sat busily tapping away on his laptop. _

_He was so engrossed in conversation with Gast84 he didn't realize that someone was looking over his shoulder peeking at the private conversation he was engaged in with Gast84._


	6. Chapter 6 Dance With Me Sway My Way

**_Sway me, make me  
Thrill me, hold me  
Bend me, ease me  
You have a way with me_**

**_ - Dean Martin_**

**_CHAPTER 44 - Dance With Me, Sway My Way_**

_A few days later Olli almost laughed out loud when he read Gast84's greeting._

**_Gast84: I'm not talking to you._**

**_Halunke: Why?_**

**_Gast84: Your advice worked._**

_Poor boy was scared shitless now that he knew that he was gay for sure. _

_Olli remembered how he had felt when at the tender age of 11 he had stumbled on the truth about himself. _

_Stumbled onto the reason why he liked the boys swimming team captain Marc Kramer and spent all his time staring at him while his classmates stared at the girls team captain the voluptuous blonde senior Jessica._

**_Halunke: So how do you feel now?_**

**_Gast84: Feel about what?_**

**_Halunke: About the fact that you're gay._**

**_Gast84: Now that it's been a few days and I've had some time to digest this new discovery about myself. I think I'm fine._**

**_Halunke: But you aren't so comfortable about it yet._**

**_Gast84: Honestly. No, I'm not._**

_Olli watched as Lukas came out the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist, his muscular chest glistening with the droplets of water clinging to it. Lukas headed to the Kitchen counter and picking up a bottle of water slowly drank from it. Olli swallowed as the image burned into his retina and took up permanent residence in his central nervous system sending all kinds of messages to many choice parts of his body._

_Lukas caught Olli watching him and shot a suggestive smirk his way. Olli knew if he stayed in the older man's presence a second longer he wouldn't be able to hide his roaring feelings any longer so he fled to his room and didn't come out again until the next morning but only after he was sure Lukas has left the flat share._

_"Olli are you sure this is a good idea?" Nadja asked again for the hundredth time._

_"Yes, it is. It is a question of your future."_

_"But what if Lukas finds out,"_

_"Lukas can take the high road to hell." Olli exclaimed, "A boyfriend who won't support your ambition isn't worth a second thought. And anyway he's gonna be gone till Friday isn't he? And you'll be back on Thursday won't you? So stop worrying and plan how you'll impress the big time news studio execs with your blinding good looks and sharp as a tack mind."_

_"You're really adept at the art of praising, aren't you? After this kind of a speech there isn't a doubt in my mind. I'm a 100 percent sure that I'll be the next News at Nine broadcaster." hugging Olli one last time Nadja climbed into the train and headed off to Hamburg._

_The incessant ringing of the doorbell caused him to perforce drag himself outta bed at 6 in the morning after a late night shift at Schneiders. _

_Eyes still closed he opened the door but his drowsy brain got a sudden caffeine shot when he heard the growled words, "What the fuck took you so long?" the man standing outside barreled into the flat pushing past him._

_Lukas was home!?_

_"Wha...what are you doing b...back?" Olli stammered._

_"My carrier developed engine trouble over Cologne so I had to make an emergency landing and they sent me back home after transferring my load to another pilot's quota" the older man said with a snarl._

_Olli knew that meant Lukas had lost a major amount of commission money._

_The pilot took out a bottle of water from the fridge and chugged the water down in one gulp._

_"What're you gawking at?" he snapped when he caught Olli staring at him._

_"N...nothing." Olli answered and scurried back to his room._

_Olli walked around his room like a caged animal wondering what he should do. Nadja was at that moment in Hamburg blissfully unaware that her boyfriend had come home 4 days early._

_He thought for a few minutes then made up his mind and walked back out to the living room._

_Lukas was in the kitchen preparing breakfast for himself._

_Olli stood by the fridge and watched Lukas flip the pancakes._

_"Do you need anything Olli?" Lukas gently asked and gave Olli a slight smile._

_"Lukas...ummm... Lukas..."_

_"Yeeees, I'm Lukas. Now please proceed."_

_"Lukas... Nadja..." Olli said and cleared his throat _

_"...is in Hamburg." Lukas completed._

_"Wha...how did you know?" _

_"She called me and told me in no uncertain terms that she was going and I could take the 'high road to hell' if I didn't like it. I never knew she could be so feisty."_

_"Well when your future is at stake even the mousiest person has to fight and kick and scream for it."_

_"Is that what you do too?" Lukas enquired curiously._

_"Yah!...when it's necessary."_

_"Really?" Lukas asked cocking an eyebrow._

_"Yes, really."_

_He checked to see if he was alone, yes he was. He went thru his flat mates belongings acquainting himself minutely with his tastes. _

_Why couldn't he get over him? He had always been able to control himself before this. _

_What was so special about this particular guy that he just couldn't get him outta his head._

_"Olli how long are you planning to live like a monk," Olivia demanded._

_"Please Olivia leave me alone."_

_"No I won't big bro, your situation needs an intervention and I'm intervening."_

_"For God's sake Olivia mind your business."_

_"You know very well Olli that I can't help butting into other people's business." Olivia said sweetly and fluttered her eyelashes at him finally making Olli crack a smile because of her ridiculous reply and silly expression._

_"Okay, go ahead intervene," he invited._

_"You and I are gonna hit the town tonight. There are three new clubs that've opened in the last couple of months and I haven't had the chance to go to even one of them. __**You**__ are gonna take me there tonight." Olivia commanded._

_"Okay, fine." Olli said rolling his eyes_

_"Not fine Olli, Awesome!" Olivia chirped._

_It was a bit silly dancing with his cousin but after the way he'd been feeling the past few weeks this trip to the clubs was a welcome respite._

_Olivia caught his hand and pulled him towards herself. _

_She shouted into his ear, "That cute guy by the bar has been checking you out ever since we started dancing. Why don't you go and say 'hi' to him?"_

_Olli followed his cousin's gaze and saw a blonde man about his own age staring back at him intently with open interest. _

_Olli agreed he wasn't bad looking so leaving Olivia to her admirers he wove his way thru the crowd to the bar._

_"Hi I'm Olli."_

_"Felix," the ginger blond answered with a suggestive smile._

_"Wanna dance?" Olli invited._

_"Sure why not."_

_Olli was having a great time. He drank, danced then drank some more. _

_Olli was enjoying his close dance with Felix until... some one suddenly bumped into them. _

_"Look where you're dancing," an all too familiar voice growled. _

_Olli took a deep breath and turned around to find himself facing Lukas who had a skanky looking blonde plastered to his left side.. _

_"You look where __**you're**__ dancing asshole," Felix flung right back at Lukas._

_Olli noticed Lukas clenching his fists and knew that his new friend was no match for the pilot. _

_"I'll handle this," he told Felix "could you go and get me a Pepper." _

_Felix looked at him with a scowl but dutifully went off to get the drink._

_"Why are you here?" Olli demanded_

_"Same reason you're here, to have a good time." The blonde on Lukas' arm snapped her gum and nodded._

_"Nadja has left just 24 hours back and you're already sniffing around. You're disgusting."_

_"The pot calling the kettle black. Huh Olli? It's just a fuck. Don't tell me you are gonna marry the guy."_

_"I'm not the one in a relationship."_

_"Well neither am I. I told Nadja to piss off."_

_"What!"_

_"Yah! If she puts her career above me. I'm not the one for her."_

_Guilt overwhelmed Olli._

_ What had he done? He had destroyed his friend's relationship._

_"Anyway have a great night with your 'date'." Turning around Lukas left with the bimbo on his arm._

_Felix came back with their drinks and handed Olli his Pepper._

_"So you got him to leave! Are you a lawyer or something." _

_" No just a fool."_

_"What?"_

_Olli quickly gulped down his beer and said, "It was great meeting you Felix but I've gotta go now."_

_"Oh! So you're one those huh? Drink free and dash."_

_Olli quickly pulled out his wallet from his back pocket and thrust a few euro notes into Felix's hand._

_"There! That should cover both our tabs," he snapped at the blonde before leaving._

_Just as he reached the entrance of the club he saw Lukas drive off._

_Olivia came running after him, "What happened?"_

_"Nothing I just wanna go home." he told his cousin_

_"Okay," Olivia grumbled, "I'll say bye to the guys and be right back."_

_"No you stay and enjoy yourself. I'm just not feeling so good" Olli lied _

_"But how'll you get home. You're too drunk to drive." She said in concern_

_"I'll take the bus."_

_"Okay suit yourself." Olivia said before going back in and merging into the partying crowd._

_Olli entered the flat and saw Lukas sitting on the couch drinking._

_"What happened to your blonde conquest," Lukas asked snidely._

_"You kinda spoilt the mood."_

_"Oh is that so I'm soooo sorry princess."_

_"Shut up! You're such an asshole. What do you get outta calling me names and hurting me all the time."_

_"A little bit of fun and a whole lot of satisfaction."_

_"You really are a sadist. Nadja is so lucky to be FINALLY rid of you. Now if you'd only leave this flat I'd be just as happy." Olli said icily. _

_The stunned expression on Lukas' face told him that he had got thru to his homophobic house mate._

_"You really think she's lucky?" asked flabbergasted._

_"Yes, I do. You aren't worth the dirt that falls off the bottom of her shoes. She's way outta your league." Olli replied coldly._

_"With you she was selling herself short." Olli spat at him piling on insults._

_"The same could apply to you as well," Lukas retorted back._

_Olli was completely confused by the sudden turn of the conversation._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Isn't that exactly what you were doing at that club, hooking up with some random guy who was way below __**your**__ league?"_

_"Felix was...is a nice guy."_

_"Let me guess you didn't even exchange phone numbers did you?"_

_"Well we 'gays' don't do such hetero shit like exchanging phone numbers, we believe..."_

_"...in wham, bam, thank you sir philosophy."_

_"Co...correct. Plus I'm too young for anything serious."_

_"Says the man who was planning his wedding six months back."_

_"How ...did you come to know?"_

_"Cecelia loves to chatter ...and I met Charlie." Lukas informed him._

_The older man had very adeptly ripped the scab off Olli's healing wound. _

_Olli retreated to his room and locked the door._

_He heard the jiggle of the door handle as Lukas tried to open it._

_"Olli I didn't mean to bring up those hurtful memories. I'm sorry please lets just talk."_

_"No!" Olli screamed, "Leave me the fuck alone."_

_"Come on Olli stop behaving like a child lets talk like the adults that we are."_

_"Come on. Olli! Come out. Please!" Lukas pathetically pleaded thru the door._

_Under the duress of the man's pleas Olli ultimately opened the door and let him into his room._

_The minute hand of the clock circled the dial a whole 3 times before Olli finally finished pouring his heart out to Lukas over neat shots of whisky. _

_"...and he just left? What a moron." Lukas exclaimed._

_Olli sadly nodded._

_"I can't believe He just left someone as gorgeous as you." The older man said thoughtfully._

_Olli stared at him. _

_Lukas saw his expression and continued_

_"Well you are. It's the truth. If I had been in the place of this Tom character I wouldn't have left you in a million years." _

_"Really?," Olli whispered in disbelief_

_"Yes, really." Lukas whispered huskily leaning closer to Olli his grey eyes gazing unwaveringly into the Olli's sparkling emeralds, "not in a million years" the older man completed just before he captured Olli's lips in a firm but tender kiss._

_Olli's drunken fuzzy mind took a few seconds to register what was happening and who it was happening with._

_He lifted his hands and placing them flat on Lukas' chest pushed him away._

_"Are you crazy?" he hissed at the pilot._

_"Kinda, I __**have**__ been going crazy wondering what it'd be like kissing these lips." Lukas whispered as he cupped Olli's chin in his hand and tenderly stroked the younger man's cherry blossom lips. _

_"And my verdict is awesome." Lukas declared and kissed Olli again._

_Lukas slowly pushed Olli back onto the bed and covered Olli's slighter body with his own._

_They made love twice that night and once in the early dawn light before sinking into a mutually satisfied dreamless slumber._


	7. Chapter 7 Will He ? Won't He?

In the morning light

You look so different.

In the morning light

I can Now see the lies.

**_CHAPTER 45 - Will He...Won't He, ...Is He...Isn't He..._**

_The incessant chiming of the alarm clock dragged Olli back from dreamland. _

_He turned over in bed only to find that he was all alone. _

_Lukas had left... _

_...most probably to make breakfast._

_Getting up he stretched his happily humming body._

_Last night and today morning had been truly bombastic._

_Who knew that after months of jibbing at him Lukas would finally take him to bed._

_Olli grinned in elation as he left his room._

_He found Bernny and Cecelia quietly eating breakfast._

_"Good morning!" Cecelia greeted_

_"Good morning," Olli replied and sent her an exuberant smile._

_"Looks like someone scored big time last night." Bernny teased._

_"Oh definitely!," Olli answered and blushed._

_"Good for you." Cecelia cheered._

_Then instructed "Go brush and shower quickly before the food gets cold," _

_"Yes, Mommy." Olli teased before running into the bathroom when he saw her get up to chase him._

_As he showered Olli he ran a soothing hand over the angry bite that Lukas had left on his shoulder during the heat of passion._

_As they all sat eating he casually asked, "Has Lukas already left for work?"_

_"No, he headed off to Hamburg to apologize to Nadja and patch things up between them."_

_Olli's fork hit his plate with a loud clatter._

_"Olli? Love what's wrong?" Cecelia asked in concern as she saw his face pale and his eyes tear up._

_"Nothing," he mumbled and springing out of his chair bolted into his room._

_Why did Lukas do this to him?_

_Why did he sleep with him if he was only going to go back to his girlfriend?_

_These questions buzzed in his head as the tears came._

_Then a thought struck him._

_Maybe he hadn't gone to patch things up with Nadja._

_Maybe he had gone to tell her in person that they were breaking up for good._

_After all a phone break-up never really cleared the air between two people. _

_There were quite a few hurt feelings to deal with which could be best handled only when both parties were face to face._

_These thoughts lightened his mind and cheered his heart._

_He changed into his Schneider's uniform and headed off to work with a song in his heart._

_His elation didn't escape Charlie's attention._

_"Why is my eternally depressed nephew suddenly floating on cloud number 9?" she teasingly enquired._

_"He's into me." Olli chirped._

_"Who's into you?" Charlie asked in puzzlement._

_"Lukas ofcourse."_

_"Really!" Charlie exclaimed._

_"Yes, really!" Olli confirmed._

_"Congratulations, Darling." Charlie said and hugged him._

_The rest of the day Olli floated around Schneiders; even the rude customers couldn't dampen his spirits and left in puzzlement when he gave them wide grins as they falsely accused him of sub standard service._

_Charlie watched Olli work and hoped that she wouldn't see him depressed heartbroken ever again in her life. _

_After the way Tom had treated him, first by cheating on him and then leaving him just a week before the wedding, Olli finally deserved some happiness._

_During his lunch break Olli tried Lukas' cell phone but there was no answer._

_He wondered what Lukas had told Nadja. He would have brace himself for Nadja's anger; after all in a way he had stolen Lukas right out of her arms._

_Days came and went._

_A whole week passed._

_But there was still no news from either Nadja or Lukas._

_Olli again started to feel his heart sink. _

_His spirits lowered with each passing day._

_It had been ten days since Nadja left when suddenly there was a phone call from her to Olli._

_"Hey Olli! How are you?" her chirpy voice greeted him as soon as he received her call._

_"Fine." Olli murmured._

_"Oh you won't believe what happened." she said in an ecstatic voice._

_"What happened?" Olli enquired curiously, "and where have you been you were supposed to be back home last Thursday."_

_"Oh I'll tell you all everything once I reach Düsseldorf in a couple of hours."_

_"So you're on your way home?"_

_"Yup we'll be home by 5. And tell Cecelia and Bernny dinner will be on us tonight."_

_Before Olli could ask for any elaboration of the 'us' Nadja cut the connection._

_A feeling of dread and despair overwhelmed him and his heart sank to his stomach._


	8. Chapter 8 And I Just Got My Heart Ripped

_You showed me the colors of the rainbow_

_You showed me a beautiful dream_

_But now that you awakened me to this nightmare_

_I realize you played me for a fool_

_And I just got my heart ripped out again_

**_CHAPTER 46 -... And I Just Got My Heart Ripped Out Again._**

_Olli came home that night to an empty flat and a message from Cecelia stuck to the fridge door_

Dear Olli,

Guess what?

Lukas and Nadja came home engaged!

They wanted to celebrate so we had to leave quickly.

Sorry we didn't wait.

We couldn't wait as Lukas had made reservations for 8o'clock at the Blue Meridian.

We'll get dessert for you, I promise.

Kuss

Cecelia

_Olli prepared himself a ham sandwich and washed it down with a glass of cold chocolate milk._

_Close to midnight his flat mates returned reeking of spirits and in high spirits. _

_Olli was saddened to see that unlike always Cecelia too had forgotten all about him and her promise._

_The icing on this day of heartbreak and disappointments was Lukas' retraction into full blown gay bashing once again._

_"Oh look the fairy is home. Read any new munchkin stories," were the words he used to greet Olli as soon as he came in through the door of the flat._

_"Stop it Lukas what's wrong with you?" Nadja said shocked at her boyfriend's comment._

_"Nothing ! I'm just pulling his fairy wings." Lukas said and laughed at his own horrid joke._

_Olli briskly walked into his room controlling the tears that threatened to spill._

_Next morning Olli left the flat at the crack of dawn he knew he wouldn't be able to face any of his flat mates without bursting into tears. _

_That night as he was on a club crawl with his colleague Kitty he met Bernny._

_Bernny saw his long face and offered him relief in the form of a miniscule blue pellet._

_Olli had a great night and thoroughly enjoyed himself; though the next morning he couldn't remember most of it._

_Olli's only sanctuary was __Gast84__ whom he chatted with everyday without fail. For those couple of hours Olli felt a little happier and he felt wanted because the boy on the other end seemed to genuinely care about Olli's wellbeing and Olli's opinions._

_One day suddenly outta the blue his net friend sent him a request for a photograph. _

**_Gast84: After learning so much about you, I'd really love to know what you look like. Would you mind exchanging pics?_**

_Olli got a bit scared but then thought *Whatever, whoever, wherever Gast84 maybe, he couldn't possibly be any worse than Lukas*_

**_Halunke: Sure I don't mind. But you'll have to wait a bit while I find a decent one. But I'll send it only if you're sending your pic as well._**

**_Gast 84 : I'm uploading mine as we speak._**

_Olli riffled through his photos and scanned a picture that had been taken for a distemper paint brochure. It was his best shot. He himself loved that particular one and hoped his net friend would like it as well._

_As the picture cleared Olli smiled at what he saw. _

_He quickly typed a response to Gast84_

**_Halunke: Oh My! You're adorable. _**

_What the boy typed back in response caused Olli to blush and made his heart sing._

**_Gast84: Thank you. But I'm nothing compared to you. You're stunning!_**

_Then a sudden thought struck Olli. _

_The boy looked underage so he hurriedly typed._

**_Halunke: How old are you? 12!? _**

**_Gast84: Of course not! I'm 18 I start college in a couple of months._**

_Relieved that his friend was an adult he sighed in relief and went into flirt mode._

**_Halunke: So you have a name that goes with that adorable face._**

_He asked and patiently waited for a response quiet sure that the boy wouldn't divulge his name but was taken aback when his laptop beeped and he saw the three word reply on screen._

**_Gast84: I'm Justus Berger. _**

_Olli mentally gave kudos to the kid for his bravery but Olli himself didn't have the guts to reveal his name so he answered with a fictional introduction._

**_Halunke: Nice to meet you Justus. I'm Florian Mansbrun._**

_Days turned into weeks and Lukas' behavior only got worse. As if name calling wasn't enough Lukas had landed up at Schneider's with a group of his pilot buddies and humiliated him. Thankfully his aunt Charlie's manager Angelo had heard Lukas and his buddies comments so he had the toughest looking waiters in Schneider cordially escort Lukas and his passé off the premises after slapping a ban on them._

_This incident sparked off full on war from Lukas's end._

_The next evening Olli came home to find his room in an utter mess and his laptop smashed to bits. _

_That night Olli cried for the first time, but it wasn't for Lukas but for the loss of his only friend Justus._

_Thankfully Cecelia had witnessed Lukas's behavior so she threatened him with legal action and got him to replace Olli's laptop._

_The atmosphere in the flat share now rivaled that of the Ice Age._

_The only one not bothered by any of it was Bernny who was usually high or sozzled so he didn't notice a thing._

_Olli was quietly sitting eating his breakfast when Nadja came in with the morning mail. _

_She flipped thru the letters then opened one of them _

_"Oh My God! I don't believe it." Nadja joyfully shrieked._

_"What happened sweet heart?" Lukas asked as he came hurrying out of their room pulling on a t-shirt._

_"You remember that job I had applied for in Hamburg."_

_"Yah the job for the news caster." Lukas completed_

_"I got it."_

_"That's...that's incredible." The man said enthusiastically and hugged his girlfriend._

_"When do you have to join?" he asked with a grin_

_"In two weeks." she answered with a shriek._

_"That's fantastic! You're unbelievable you know that, don't you?"_

_"But what about you?" Nadja asked sadly as she pulled out of the hug._

_"Hey I'm a courier pilot. I'll just put in for a transfer to Hamburg no big deal."_

_"Oh I love you Lukas." She hugged him again._

_"I love you more." Lukas answered and kissed Nadja, making a show of it as if rubbing it in Olli's face, who picked up his bowl of cereal and slunk off to his room._

_As the couple excitedly packed for their departure Olli couldn't take it anymore and finally broke his silence. _

_One evening a few days before the couple planned to leave Olli found himself alone with Lukas in the flat so building up courage he cornered the older man._

_"Are you really leaving?" the younger man demanded_

_"Of course!" the pilot exclaimed "Anyway what's it to you?" he spat at Olli.._

_"How long are you going to keep lying to yourself and to everyone else?" Olli vehemently questioned him._

_"Lying about what?" Lukas asked playing dumb._

_"About the night we made love. I know you felt it too." Olli elaborated._

_"Love? You call that perverted experiment 'love'?" Lukas hissed at him_

_"It wasn't an experiment Lukas." Olli said with conviction._

_"Oh it was an experiment Olli." Lukas said with a look of disgust._

_"You're lying. Tell the truth." Olli soldiered on with his demand._

_"You wanna know the truth." Lukas asked in a soft but dangerous tone._

_"Yes, it's time you faced the truth." Olli said jabbing Lukas in the chest._

_"No, it's time __**you**__ faced the truth you little shit." Lukas growled._

_Grabbing Olli by the throat he slammed the leaner man up against the wall and growled with blood on his mind "I didn't say anything coz I wanted to spare your feelings. But now that you wanna know the truth here it is - That was by far the most __**disgusting **__experience of my life." Lukas said and banged Olli head back against the wall "You get that you little sick shit." _

_"It was the most gruesomely disgusting experience of my life. After it was all over I went and threw up." Lukas continued giving Olli a back handed slap across his face giving him a bloody lip. _

_Flinging Olli on the floor the larger man kicked him "Then I scrubbed myself till I was raw coz I couldn't get that sticky gay stench that you left behind on my body. SO according to me __**nothing**__ happened that night."_

_Grabbing Olli by the front of his shirt Lukas picked him off the floor before landing a punch on the younger man sending him sprawling on the floor again, leaving him with a bleeding nose "and you so much as breathe a word of this to anyone especially Nadja then I'll rip you limb from limb. Now stay the hell away from me you little faggot."_

_With a final kick to Olli's stomach he left the brunette lying on the floor._

_"I'm so going to miss you." Cecelia said between sniffles._

_"Oh baby we'll talk on the phone and online all the time." Nadja said hardly able to control her own tears._

_"But it won't be the same." Cecelia sobbed._

_"I know but hey maybe you'll get that teaching job in Hamburg and then we'll hang out together again."_

_"Oh I so hope so." the girls hugged. _

_Lukas gave Cecelia a kiss shook Bernny's hand and got into the taxi._

_After giving Cecelia a final hug Nadja too slipped into the taxi and shut the door._

_Olli stood at his bedroom window and watched Lukas leave Düsseldorf all smiles and kisses. _

_He felt his heart being cut out of his chest with a very blunt knife. _

_Secluded in his room Olli watched the taxi as it drove away._

_"What's wrong with you Olli?" Cecelia hissed at him after she came back up into the flat._

_"You didn't even have the common decency to come down and wish them a safe journey."_

_"I can't handle goodbyes Cecelia. I would have cried and anyway I wouldn't have been able to handle anymore of Lukas's fag jokes."_

_"I still think you're selfish." Cecelia flung at him._

_"Screw you Cecelia." Olli stormed into his room and slammed the door behind him._

_"Olli can I ask you something." Cecelia gently enquired later in the evening._

_"What?" Olli flung at her._

_"You and Lukas were fine until Nadja went to Hamburg. Did something happen after he came back from his cancelled assignment?" she as tactfully as possible._

_"Yah, we slept together." Olli informed her blandly._

_"You did WHAT?" Cecelia shrieked_

_"I slept with him." Olli slowly said again and hung his head in shame._

_"So he's the one who hit you." Cecelia quickly concluded_

_"Yah He said he'd kill me if I told anyone especially Nadja."_

_"Bloody bastard." Nadja hissed thru gritted teeth._

_"I left myself open to this. You warned me, Charlie warned me but even then I had to go and confess to him. I'm so stupid and I'm definitely sick." _

_The both sat in thoughtful silence._

_"Lukas is the sick one. You know that don't you? He's the one who took advantage of you and he did it on purpose. He's the sick one." Cecelia said to Olli._

_Olli nodded and laid his head on her shoulder._

_Cecelia put her arm around him and hugged him as the tears finally came. _

_After Cecelia had left for her date Bernny approached Olli two glasses of liquor in hand,_

_"So Lukas was the guy, Huh?" Bernny asked as he handed Olli a shot of whisky_

_"Yah," Olli answered_

_"He's not worth it man. Cheer up." Bernny said trying to lift Olli's spirits._

_Bernny dug into his pocket and pulled out a tiny packet._

_"Here take this. It'll make it all better." Bernny soothed holding up a blue pill._

_"I was hoping you'd have one on you." Olli plucked the pill out of Bernny's hand, putting it in his mouth he washed it down with a gulp of his drink._

_"We both have the weekend off how about we go and raise some hell and forget all our troubles." Bernny cajoled and chugged down the whisky in his glass at one go._

_"I'm game." Olli agreed enthusiastically. _

_Olli finished the rest of his drink and they headed out of the flat._


	9. Chapter 9 I'm A Royal Screw Up!

**_CHAPTER 47 - I'm Just A Royal Screw Up_**

_Olli lay in bed staring up at the ceiling as he breathed deeply hoping that the overwhelming nausea that he felt would dissipate._

_Thankfully within a few painful minutes his hangover caused headache slowly dulled with the help of the four aspirins he had just swallowed.._

_He sat up slowly and looked around his room it had been 3 days since he had last been sober._

_He was ever grateful to Charlie for giving him the time off so that he could get over his 'broken heart'._

_Half an hour later, after a hot shower as he pulled on a pair of jeans over his lean legs his eyes fell on his laptop and he realized that it had been quite a few days since he had last been in contact with Justus._

_Quickly putting on a tee-shirt he switched on his laptop and hoped that Justus was online._

Logging on to the social site he was glad to see Gast84 already in the chatter's list. He quickly typed and sent off a greeting to his friend

**_Halunke: Hey Justus. I was hoping you would be online._**

**_Gast84: Where have you been? I had been so worried._**

_After the last couple of days this one message lifted his spirits. Someone genuinely cared about him._

**_Halunke: My flat mate left with his girlfriend. So it's finally completely over._**

**_Gast84: how are you doing?_**

**_Halunke: as good as can be expected._**

**_Gast84: I'm sorry he didn't return your feelings. _**

**_Halunke: It's alright. It was just wishful thinking on my part._**

**_Gast84: so what are you going to do now?_**

**_Halunke: first I need to find new flat mates as my other flat mate and I can't pay the whole rent on our meager salaries. _**

_Olli patiently waited for Justus' response and his jaw hit the floor when he read it. _

_It was a short very simple question._

**_Gast84: you wanna meet?_**

_The guy wanted to meet him? WTF?_

_He felt scared so he wrote back_

**_Halunke: Do you think that's a good idea? Why don't you just call me? Take my number - ******7201_**

_He wondered if it was wise handing out his cell phone number to a complete stranger._

**_Gast84: I'm dialing you right now._**

**_As he read the message on screen his cell started trilling._**

**_Halunke: my cell is ringing. He wrote back right before he picked up his cell and received the call._**

_"Hey Justus"_

_"Hi"_

_To cover up his nervousness Olli blatantly flirted_

_"So do you like my voice?"_

_"You have a nice voice" came the soft shy answer down the line._

_000000_

_Olli had been deep in conversation with Justus discussing the recently released comedy 'Tropic Thunder' when he heard the flat's front door open._

_"Hey what are you doing?" Bernny asked entering Olli's room._

_"Talking to Justus." Olli said covering the mic of his phone._

_"Oh that kid with the coming out problem."_

_"Yah he wants to meet me. What do you think? Should I go?"_

_"Of course you should go."_

_Removing his hand from the mic he spoke into it _

_"Do you seriously want to meet me?"_

_"Yes, I do." came the eager answer, "but only if you're comfortable."_

_"I'm very comfortable," Olli answered, the boy certainly was very chivalrous "how about Thursday at the Chuck Wagon Lounge. I hope you know where that is."_

_"Yah sure everyone knows where that is." Came the boy's enthusiastic reply_

_"So I'll see you there at say 7." Olli said._

_"Sure it's a date." His young friend Justus said_

_Thursday morning Olli examined his reflection in the mirror and was glad to see that the bruises were gone and his lip was almost healed._

_"There is a rave party down by the pier, wanna go." Bernny invited as excitedly he bustled into the flat_

_"When have you ever seen me turn down an offer like that?" Olli replied as he pulled on his jacket_

_"Oh shit is that the time." Olli exclaimed staring at the clock hanging behind the bar._

_"Yah it's 7:30. What's the problem? Your shift at Schneiders starts at 11 you only have wash up duty today don't you?" Bernny asked puzzled by Olli's sudden agitation._

_"Yah I do but I was supposed to meet Justus at 7." Olli informed him_

_"Then go quickly." Bernny advised_

_Olli entered Chuck Wagon and scanned the interiors he was sure that Justus would have left by now after all he was a good one hour late for their date._

_Then he suddenly saw the sad face. Quickly pushing through the crowd he grabbed the arm of the younger man and whispered in his ear "Hey! Where're __**you**__ off to?"_

_He saw the blue eyes light up as Justus said in a relieved tone "I thought you'd played a prank on me."_

_"Sorry, I got caught up at work." Olli lied and sniffed his nose he wondered if he was catching a cold._

_Olli looked at and he liked what he saw._

_But the kid was just too straight looking for his taste. _

_Plus Olli needed to get laid and a virgin was definitely not what he wanted or needed tonight._

_"Let's go to the bar." Olli declared and dragged Justus by the arm along with him._

_"What'll it be whisky, scotch, beer...?" he offered._

_"A cola." Was Justus's quick reply _

_"You really are a kid! Come on let your hair down and get savage." Olli commented dryly _

_He could make out that Justus's temper was rising but frankly he couldn't care less. _

_"No thanks! A cola is just fine for me." Justus said with emphasis._

_"Your wish" Olli retorted flatly_

_Turning to the bar man he ordered "White Horse on the rocks for me and a coke for my friend here"_

_As Justus stood beside him Olli chugged down 3 drinks one after the other. Once his head was buzzing happily he decide it was time to dance. _

_"Let's dance." Olli cheered and dragged Justus to the dance floor._

_But the kid's inept dancing skills made him look around for a better partner and he soon found one. Abandoning Justus he went off to enjoy himself with a shirtless muscular himbo who caught his eye._

_He never realized when Justus left all he knew was at 9:30 when he looked around Justus was nowhere to be seen._

_He left the club and headed back to his flat to shower, shave and get ready for his shift at Schneider's_

_The next morning when he finally got over his hangover and his brain finally cleared his utter stupid behaviour replayed in his brain. He realized that he had royally screwed up his friendship with Justus._

_While he sat contemplating the consequences of his actions Cecelia came out of the shower and lent him a sympathetic ear so everything came tumbling out._

_"I really screwed up last night," He confessed_

_"What did you do?" Cecelia asked him _

_"I was high then I got drunk. I think I scared away that kid."_

_"So apologize and schedule another date." she suggested._

_"Do you think he'll go for it?" Olli asked skeptically._

_"Of course he will. Who can say No to that cute face?" Cecelia said making him smile_

_"I hope you're right." He said as he got up to retrieve his laptop and sent off an apologetic email to Justus._

_"Cecelia was so right he's agreed to meet me again." Olli said after he received a call from Justus and they scheduled another date for the following Friday._

_"About what?" Bernny asked making Olli realize that he had spoken out loud._

_"About me being irresistible." Olli said preening._

_"Uh...Huh!" was Bernny response making Olli realize that his flat mate had absolutely no idea what he was talking about._

_"Justus accepted my apology," he clarified for Bernny._

_"Oh the kid you ditched." Bernny added for his own clarification._

_Olli nodded his head._

_A thought struck him and he asked Bernny_

_"You have anymore of those loosen'em up candies."_

_"I think I might have a couple left." Bernny answered afer a couple of thoughtful seconds._

_"Can you give'em to me. I'll pay you back soon." Olli promised._

_"No problem buddy keep'em. Why do you need them if might ask."Bernny asked curiously._

_"I just ..." Olli trailed off._

_"Wanna score with that kid." Bernny completed for him._

_"Would it be rape?" Olli asked apprehensively._

_"Only if he is minor. The candy isn't strong enough to totally conk him out so if he isn't into it he will have enough will power to stop you." Bernny replied with great knowledge._

Oo oo oo oo oo

"I was so stupid and gullible Christian I believed Bernny completely."

Slowly Christian was getting an inkling of where this was going and what Olli was about to confess to him.

"I scored of course." Olli said and continued with his narration

Oo oo oo oo oo

_Olli dressed carefully for his date. He put on the new red jacket he had bought especially for this date. He looked at himself in the full length mirror that hung in Cecelia's room. Rubbing a hand over his cheek he went back to his room and ran the electric razor over his cheeks, chin and throat once more to make sure he got the smoothest result._

_He was early for their date. He hoped he wouldn't be stood up; though he would completely deserve it if Justus didn't put in an appearance. Thank fully Justus didn't stand him up and he came right on time as well. He could make out that the boy was still wondering if he was trust worthy or not._

_He resisted ordering a hard drink and ordered the mock-tail that his companion had chosen for himself. _

_Justus told him about his plans to become a teacher and Olli passed a stupid comment about screaming children. _

_Of course he remembered that Justus wanted to teach high school he had told him that piece of his future plan at least a dozen times during the last month._

_The evening thankfully had been great except that his friends kept calling wondering when he would be showing up at the party at the club. The fifth time he got a call, after answering it he activated the mailbox so that he wouldn't be disturbed for the rest of the evening._

_Asking Justus to come up to his apartment had been a bold move. He had half expected the younger man to give some excuse and leave. To his surprise Justus had accepted the invitation. _

_He put in the DVD he set up the movie and went into the bathroom to gargle._

_He took out the condom and the lube. _

O_o o_o o_o o_o o_o

"Well good you remembered to use protection." Christian suddenly interrupted.

"I was always careful and I was sober so I knew exactly what I was doing so..." Olli explained before resuming his story.

O_o o_o o_o o_o o_o

_He took out the condom and the lube. He opened the second drawer and took out the candy._

_He felt guilty as he slipped the candy into Justus's mouth but then Bernny had said if Justus didn't want this he would definitely protest then Olli would back off. It would also hopefully relax Justus and ease the discomfort that was to follow when Olli took him. _

_He watched Justus's reactions to his ministrations and actions. The boy was shivering but not a sound passed his lips. He was very quiet. Olli looked up at him to make sure that he was still awake. The dazed blue eyes staring intently at him told him that Justus was very much awake and definitely enjoying what Olli was doing._

_Justus squeaked and squirmed as Olli prepared him._

_He whimpered as Olli entered him. _

_He soothed Justus the best he could. _

_He felt the fingers digging into his back as Justus reached his climax, he reached his own release soon after._

_He rolled off the boy and Justus snuggled into him. Lifting up his head Justus looked at him with drowsy eyes and shyly whispered. "Halunke, being with you felt wonderful." _

_Unnerved by the utter trust in the blue eyes Olli gave him a ghost of a smile and whispered back "Same here Gast84."_

_Justus laid his head back on Olli chest and soon fell fast asleep._

_His cell phone beeped indicating that he had received a new message._

**_*Hey u up 4 a party 2nite. There's a big shindig going on at Jens's. Bring ur sweetie 2 if he's up 4 it.*_**

_He carefully slipped out from under the sleeping form. Quickly dressing he gently kissed Justus's temple and whispered into his ear, "See you in the morning kleiner" and headed out. _

_He headed to the party that would turn his life upside down._

_After tonight neither his life nor he would ever be the same again._


	10. Chapter 10 - I'm Lower Than Scum

_A revelation... of the events of that fateful night._

**_CHAPTER 48 - I'm Lower Than Scum._**

_The party had been a blast. _

_In the wee hours of the morning Olli and another boy Jacque made their way back home. _

_Drunk as they were they sang incoherently and giggled as they walked along arm in arm. _

_"Olli do you know I love you." Jacque slurred_

_"Was?" Olli asked with a drunken giggle as they stumbled down the street._

_"Yup I love you." Jacque repeated and vigorously nodded his head up and down._

_"Really dude? Then I love you too." Olli answered with feeling and they hugged._

_Once they parted both giggled in drunken ecstasy; neither noticed the two men who had witnessed them profess their love for each other._

_Suddenly a jeering voice crowed,__"Hey look. What do we have here? A fairy couple completely tweaked out of their minds." _

_Both young men instantly turned around to face their bullies_

_"Leave us alone." Olli warned and held up his fists_

_"Look he can't even stand straight and wants to fight" the balding bully sneered._

_"Seems we need to teach him some manners." the bully's companion quipped and punched Olli in the face._

_In the meantime Jacque fled the spot as fast as his unsteady legs could carry him._

_Olli felt the punches and kicks raining down on him._

_He grabbed a foot hoping that'd halt the attack on his stomach. But that only increased the regularity of the punches until he let go off his attacker's foot._

_He felt a crunch as a metal stick connected with his ribcage. _

_The next place the stick made contact with was his leg._

_In desperation he covered his head and lay still hoping they would assume he's dead and leave him finally._

_He felt some liquid being poured on him as the cackle of cruel laughter echoed around him._

_The musky stench hit his nostrils and he realized that his attackers had finished off their business with him by urinating on him._

_He lay whimpering on the sidewalk; too weak to even call out for help._

_Slowly the world faded away._

_Thankful darkness engulfed him and blocked out the excrutiating pain._

_He heard Bernny's voice. _

_Olli wondered why his flat mate was screaming and crying at the same time._

**_O_o o_o o_o o_o o_o_**

_"Help us! Somebody! Help us! Sir, please I need to call an ambulance. Please let me make a call."_

_"Frau Schneider! It's me Bernny. Olli has been bashed."_

**_O_o o_o o_o o_o o_o_**

_*That was an ambulance's siren, wasn't it?* _

_Olli wondered if there had been an accident near his building._

_A mosquito bit him viciously on the back of his left hand; he wanted to swat it away but his right hand refused to cooperate._

_There were people talking and it was all so confusing._

_"It's a criminal case." A commanding voice said. _

_"His blood alcohol is twice the legal limit and we found drugs in his system as well." a second voice added_

_"There was some internal bleeding but we were able to stop it in time." A gentle female voice informed._

_Who the hell were they all talking about? And why were there so many people in his flat?_

**_O_o o_o o_o o_o o_o_**

_*Ugh! Cecelia must be cleaning the bathroom.* _

_He hated the noxious smell of the disinfectant she used to scrub the bathroom._

_He was so tired. _

_All he needed was a good night's sleep. _

_He felt around for Justus but there was no one lying beside him. _

_*Justus must have gone to get a drink of water* he surmised as sleep stole his senses and made him unconscious to the world._

* * *

_Bernny was tired and horrified by the events that had taken place the previous night._

_Entering the flat he saw Cecelia about to leave for work and suddenly remembered the boy Olli had brought home. _

_He hurried into Olli's room but found the bed empty._

_"Where is Olli's date?" He questioned Cecelia_

_"I threw him out with the usual prank". Cecelia said with a jovial smirk_

_"You left money on the night stand and when he woke up you acted like he was just one of Olli's paid for twinks." _

_"Yes, that is our usual modus operandi, isn't it?" Cecelia said with an amused grin._

_"What? Oh Shit! No!" Bernny yelled_

_"Why? We do it to all his one night stands. Olli'll apologize and then we'll all have a laugh about it." Cecelia said in annoyance._

_"Olli was bashed last night." Bernny informed his flat mate as he collapsed onto the couch._

_"Oh My God. That's horrible." Cecelia whimpered she bonelessly sank down beside him as the tears came._

* * *

_Why was his aunt doing this to him? It was only a little fun. _

_Why was she punishing him for having fun?_

_"Auntie! Please don't do this to me. I'll die there." Olli whimpered miserably as he was led out of the hospital his left leg as well as left arm still in a cast and head bandaged. _

_"No, you won't die there. That place is the only thing that can __**keep**__ you from dying." Charley replied, gently caressing his stubbled and pale cheek_

_"Auntie! No! Please No!." Olli struggled to free himself from the iron grip of the men holding him._

_"Olli sweetheart! Please don't make this harder than it already is." Charley said controlling her tears_

_"I HATE YOU!." Olli spat at her_

_"I'd rather have you alive and hating me than have you dead" she returned hardening her voice. _

_"Please take him." She instructed the two male nurses._

_"Auntie Charlie! I love you! Please don't send me away." Olli begged as the two hefty men loaded him into the back of the rehab center van. He pressed his face against the rear windscreen to stare helplessly at his Aunt and screamed for her._

_"__AUNTIE CHARLIE!__ AUNTIE CHARLIE!__AUNTIE CHARLIE__!" his voice slowly dimmed as the transport van whisked him away._

* * *

_Six months after that horible night Olli found himself back in Düsseldorf_ _standing outside his old flat. _

_He rang the bell and patiently waited for the door to open. _

_A smiling Cecelia opened it and instantly enveloped him in a hug._

_"Olli! You're back! How are you?" She asked once she let go off him and allowed him to enter._

_"Alive." He answered flatly _

_"I've come to pick up my stuff." he informed his flat mate "Charlie wants me to move in with her."_

_"Okay! Sure, I'll help you pack." Cecelia said with false enthusiasm._

_"Where's my laptop and DVD player.?" Olli demanded as he carried a box out of his now vacated room._

_"The flat was broken into so..." Cecelia informed him._

_"Well if that isn't the cherry on top." he quipped with a disgusted smile._

_"There's something else as well..." The girl began uncomfortably_

_"What?" he snapped as he placed the packed box beside the front door._

_"You better sit down for this." Cecelia said leading the way to the couch._

_Once they were both seated Cecelia continued_

_"That kid you brought home the night you were..."_

_"Bashed. Ja, what about him?" Olli questioned in irritation_

_"He came searching for you a month later." Cecelia said softly_

_"So?" he asked cocking an eyebrow._

_"He came with this big dangerous looking guy in tow."_

_"O...kay." That broke thru Olli's false bravado and he gulped in fear_

_"Seems that he really was a kid Olli, your net friend is under age." She said quickly in one breath._

_"UNDER AGE!" Olli shrieked in panic, his face heated up and he was sure he could hear the siren of approaching police vans._

_"Ja! The big guy called you a pedophile. I think they have a warrant out for your arrest as well." Cecelia informed him in a scared voice._

_"Oh My God! I've gotta get out of here." Olli shot off the couch and ran out of the flat his only thought - he had to flee Düsseldorf as soon as possible._

Chapter End Notes:

So ... um ... hows that?

I hope it is acceptable.

Please read and please, bitte leave a teeny tiny review.

Good.

Okay.

Yawn...

Eeek!

Horrible!


	11. Chapter 11-Atonement Searching

End of the Flash back

**_CHAPTER 49 - Atonement...searching for the light at the end of the tunnel._**

_*Olli you disgusting animal you took advantage of a child. You sick bastard.* Olli cursed himself as he briskly walked down the road. He felt like kicking himself, he had sunk so low in his drug induced stupidity that he had completely taken leave of his senses. He had lured a boy, a mere child back to his den of evil and ... calling himself an animal was an insult to animals._

_He was worse than an animal. _

_"Auntie, I have to get out of Düsseldorf." Olli declared once he was back at Schneider's._

_"Olli why? Why this sudden urge to leave." Charley asked in alarm._

_"If I stay here I may fall back with the Old crowd. You don't want that do you?" Olli effectively lied._

_"No of course not Schatzcen. But where will you go? What'll you do?"_

_"Send me back to the rehab clinic. Let me finish the program. They said if I stay off the stuff for a year I could get into the counselor program and become a certified counselor."_

_"Okay sweet heart. I'm happy to see that you are doing some good with your life finally."Charlie said embracing him tightly._

_O_o o_o o_o o_o o_o_

_He was in his flat share bedroom lying on top of Justus, they were having sex and Olli was enjoying it. _

_But why was Justus struggling and the boy was now screaming_

_"Help! Please let me go. I promise I won't tell anyone."_

_"Of course you won't I'll tear you limb from limb if you do." Olli heard himself threatening the terrified boy he had trapped under his body._

_Justus was angry... the boy's hand reached the night stand and he picked up the lamp._

_Justus was hitting him on the head with the brass lamp. _

_It hurt so much._

_"I'm sorry" he cried out to the boy begging his forgiveness._

_Olli woke up screaming drenched in sweat._

_His room mate was staring at him in concern. _

_Wiping the sweat off his face with his bedclothesOlli made a decision._

_O_o o_o o_o o_o o_o_

_"Herr Sabel I see here you made an appointment with me. But you are almost recovered now and in line to undergo the certification course."_

_"Doctor Borg this has nothing to do with my addiction. It's about something completely different."_

_"Okay I'm listening." the psychiatrist said as he opened his writing pad to take down notes of their session._

_"I raped someone." Olli confessed he said it out loud in a clear voice_

_"I see. So are on the lam?" the doctor enquired as flatly as possible, as a doctor especially a psychiatrist he couldn't let his emotions intrude his sessions._

_"As far as I know there has been no warrant issued for me as yet."_

_"Uh Huh! But you feel guilty and want to make amends to your victim." the doctor concluded for Olli._

_"Yes, I want to make amends. But I haven't been able to locate him either."_

_"I hope you know that we have to report this to the police."_

_"Yes, I know." Olli answered in a terrified whisper._

_O_o o_o o_o o_o o_o_

_The inspector glared at him in disgust. _

_Then hissed "I checked with Düsseldorf there has been no formal complaint as yet been lodged against a 'Florian Mansbrun'. But I would recommend that you leave the country for sometime if you know what's good for you.", the policeman advised as he counted the wad of currency notes Olli had handed him in exchange for the man's silence._

_"Yes of course." Olli whispered his head bent and feeling worse than slime._

_O_o o_o o_o o_o o_o_

_"Hey Charlie." Olli greeted when Charlie answered her phone._

_"My sweet nephew. How have you been?"_

_"I'm great. Auntie I got this job on a liner as a bartender." Oli informed her as cheerfully as he could._

_"That's good but won't that..."she left the rest unsaid_

_"Tempt me to start drinking again. No, it won't I promise. Don't they say that the only antidote to venom is the venom itself. If I can be near alcohol and resist it won't that make me stronger."_

_"Best Of Luck My dear. May you achieve success in all your endeavors."_

_O_o o_o o_o o_o o_o_

_Olli would return to Düsseldorf sporadically but would never stay any longer than a night._

_After a lot of coaxing, cajoling and finally threatening Charley extracted the whole story out of Olli. _

_Saying that the poor lady was completely horrified would be a gross understatement. _

_It would be months before she would be able to say Olli's name again without feeling that she needed to wash her mouth out with dish washing soap. She also invested a large amount of money and time into locating this Justus Berger. But all the PIs she hired came up with nothing on any teenager named Justus. The only Justus they found was the Von Lahnstein's trusty butler who was well into his thirties._

_It would be a long three years before Aunt and nephew finally reconciled and life would settle around them._

_O_o o_o o_o o_o o_o_

_"Good Morning Charlie of Schneider's Restaurant Charlie speaking. How may I help you on this beautiful Autumn day."_

_"Hello! Auntie Charlie?How ha..." he softly greeted his aunt's businesslike tone_

_"Oliver!" Charlie screamed so loudly that Olli had to hold the receiver away from his ear._

_"Yes it's me." He confirmed._

_"How come you remembered this old lady?"_

_"I want to come back home. I was wondering if I could work for you at Schneider's again."_

_"I have a better idea."_

_"A better idea?"_

_"Yes, Schatz I do. Now that I'm getting married..."_

_"YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED. Oh My God! Why didn't you tell me?" _

_"I thought I was doing exactly that." Charlie said flatly_

_"Congratulations. Who's the lucky guy?"_

_"You remember Sascha."_

_"Oh! That electrician guy?"_

_"You got that from Olivia, didn't you?. He is and never was an electrician. He owns a remodeling company"_

_"Cool!"_

_"Now may I please continue with what I was about to say". _

_"Of course go right ahead. Auntie dearest."_

_"Now that I am getting married I can't take care of everything on my own so I think you can take over my stake at No Limits"_

_"That TINY pub."_

_"Honey it isn't tiny anymore nor is it any longer a pub. It's a full fledged restaurant cum lounge bar."_

_"Okay if you think I can handle it I'm game."_

_After they exchanged some more news and Oliver informed her of the exact date he would come back to Düsseldorf permanently both Aunt and nephew ended the call with happy smiles on their faces._

_O_o o_o o_o o_o o_o_

_"Oh Oliver. It's so great to so see you after a whole year. How have you been?"_

_"I'm good." Olli answered but averted his gaze and stared into the glass of vitamin shake his aunt had lovingly prepared for him. _

_"Do you still..."she let the question hang in the air._

_"Have the night mares? Sometimes. Did you check ..." he started to ask._

_"I did. No complaint was lodged in 'Florian's' name ever. Olli the boy must be an adult by now."_

_"Auntie what if he killed himself after ... Then I'm not just a... Oh God... then I'm also a murderer."_

_"I'm sure that isn't the case. Maybe he saw it as a one night stand."_

_"I drugged him and then..."_

_"If he saw it as rape he would have definitely lodged a complaint. Now chin up we have to go to No Limits so you can officially take over my stakes."_

_O_o o_o o_o o_o o_o_

_"You've been staring at him all night." Charlie whispered to him as they prepared to leave after the wonderful dinner at she had arranged at her restaurant._

_"Auntie he looks so much like Justus." Olli whispered back as he gazed at the handsome blond man he had been introduced to a few hour earlier who he would soon be moving in with._

_"DO you think it's him?" Charlie asked in alarm_

_"No, Justus had dark brown hair. Your business partner brother has blond hair. I know six years is a long time but I don't think his hair would go through such a drastic change. Not to mention Justus's looks bordered on adorable. Christian on the other hand Hubba! Hubba! "_

_"Yes,... that's true." Charley agreed giving Christian a admiring once over, "Well now quit staring. You can ogle him all you want once you move in with him."_

o_o o_o o_o o_o o_o

Olli ended his narration and at looked up at Christian who sat staring at him with a stony expression on his face.

Chapter End Notes:

Please a teeny tiny review bitte bitte bitte I beg.


	12. Chapter 12 - Is This The End

Is this the end?

**CHAPTER 50 - There's No Escape, There's No Solution**

Olli lowered his gaze and stared down at the grainy varnished surface of the dining table.

He took in a deep breath and concluded with a quiet declaration.

"I tried to run away from my past and it came and bit me in the ass. I'd hoped you'd never find out but lying never has good consequences. Today I met Lukas, tomorrow I might meet Justus. Then the truth would come out. So I thought it would be better if you heard the whole truth straight from the horse's mouth."

Silence descended in the room broken only the ticking of the wallclock.

Olli heard the soft creak of springs which told him that Christian had gotten up from the sofa.

He looked up at his boyfriend and his heart shattered.

He watched with tears in his eyes as Christian put on his jacket and silently left the flat share firmly shutting the front door after himself.

A single tear escaped from the emerald eyes and rolled down Olli's cheek.

He couldn't believe that Christian had just left him.

But then it wasn't surprising that Christian would react in that fashion.

How could some one as gentle and pure as Christian ever associate with a disgusting creature like himself?

Slowly he got up and headed to the bedroom.

Picking up his already packed bags he looked around the room, where he had spent the last two blissful months, one last time then headed.

He took out the keys from his pocket and pulling off the keys to the flat share from the key chain he laid them on the dining table with a metallic snapping finality.

Swallowing his tears he straightened his back and hardened his aching heart as he exited the flat-share and then the No Limits building.

Christian's reaction to his confession had strengthened his decision to leave Düsseldorf once again.

But this time it would be forever.

Chapter End Notes:

_**Please read and leave a review**_


	13. Chapter 13 Oh Grow A Backbone

**CHAPTER 51 - OH! Grow A Backbone!**

Closing the door of the flat, Olli hurriedly walked down the corridor. He had to get away from here as fast as he could.

He wished he had the strength to fight for his love but Christian's action of walking out had spoken volumes.

Lost in his unhappy heart breaking thoughts Olli turned around the corner to take the steps downstairs and crashed into Christian who was on his way back to him.

Their heads knocked together and stars danced in front of Olli's eyes.

Christian caught him close and felt Olli leaning into him.

The realization that had hit Christian when he had been on his way out of the building; the realization that had dragged him back up the stairs; overwhelmed him now as he stood there in the middle of corridor holding the older man in his arms.

He'd found in Olli the love that had always eluded him.

But after his dunce move of just walking out after the confession how was he going to convince Olli that he was the man for him.

Christian was afraid to let go of Olli. He'd come round the corner like a man on a mission.

Had Olli been coming after him?

He noticed the bags lying on the floor beside them. He had heard a dull thump before Olli's arms encircled him in a tight embrace.

Olli was leaving him!

Christian felt scared. Was he too late!

Olli's head ached from where their heads had bumped but he didn't mind the pain. It was proof that Christian was really here, holding him. Being in Christian's arms felt right. He couldn't believe that Christian had come back.

Slowly Olli started to pull away but Christian didn't let go of him. Instead he planted a gentle kiss on Olli's lips and whispered, "Hey there stud! Where are you off to?"

He saw questions and surprise in the green eyes as the older man whispered back "You came back!"

"You have a real hard head babe," Christian quipped with a smirk and placed another kiss on the surprised lips.

With one arm still around Olli he bent down and picked up Olli's bags. "Come on lets go in. We've gotta talk."

He let go of Olli just long enough to fish out his keys and handed them to the brunette to open the door.

Once they were inside and the door was firmly locked shut Christian dropped the bags beside the dining table. He noticed the keys lying on it and snidely remarked , " You really were leaving me after dropping that bloody bombshell on me."

"You're one to talk. You walked out on **me**." Olli hissed back at him.

Christian looked at the angry face an appropriate retort springing to the tip of his tongue but the pained expression in Olli's eyes sealed his lips.

The anger completely vanished as he watched Olli's shoulder slump and the older man all but collapsed onto the couch.

"Olli I didn't know what to say." Christian said once he found his voice again.

Olli looked back at him.

"I expected as much. You said you had a hard time believing that I was an addict. I was so glad when you forgave that part of my past. But this... I understand no one can forgive **this**. " Olli said as tears blinded him. He blinked rapidly to stem them. Swallowing the the lump that had lodged in his throat he said clearly.

"You are a good man Christian. I on the other hand am an ex- junkie and a rapist... no I'm worse I'm a pedophile. " Olli gave a hollow laugh then buried his face in his hands.

Christian heart ached for the misery he had caused.

It was time to come clean.

He gently started, "Olli have you ever considered that maybe Charlie hit the nail on the head. That most probably 'the kid' thought of it as only a one night stand. And most importantly he really wasn't under age at all. Maybe the guy who came with him looking for you passed that remark just to scare you."

Standing up Olli slowly turned around and looked at Christian. A sad smile gracing his face, "Like I said you are a good man, who can only see the good in people. You are the most positive and optimistic person I've ever met. But, that's all wishful thinking. I know the truth and now so do you..."

He turned away again and said fighting back tears. "You have a bright future ahead of you, I don't want it tainted by my past. It would be best if we broke up. I'll quietly leave and be completely out of your life by the end of the week. I think the ship is the best place for me. The only place I can ever find peace from this axe hanging over my head." He screwed his eyes shut as he listened for the door to open, waited for Christian to walk out again.

Christian looked at the rigid back turned towards him.

Olli had really suffered from that one off hand remark that Gregor had made.

Slowly approaching him Christian walked around him and came to face him. His heart ached when he saw Olli's scrunched up face and the one single tear that slithered a path down the cheek coming to rest right beside the lips he loved to kiss.

The only thought that whirled in his mind was he had to protect this man.

He pulled Olli into his arms and hugged him tightly.

Olli was stunned when he felt the arms encircle him. After the initial shock his arms encircled Christian and he hugged him back.

Olli wished he could just merge into Christian. He buried his face in the curve of Christian's throat and let the intoxicating essence of the blonde surround him.

"Christian you have to let me go." Olli mumbled

The brunette's utterance increased Christian's apprehension about Olli's plans to leave him.

"You are not going anywhere. Don't you dare break the promise you made to me the night we made love for the first time." Christian growled as his arms tightened around his man, his heart, his everything.

"My promise...?" came Olli confused muffled words.

"That you'd never leave me." Christian clarified as he pulled back and looked Olli straight in the eyes.

"But that was before you knew anything about who I really was. My history... my life before I met you."

"Olli that's your past. So you have some skeletons in your cupboard. Big deal! So do I!." Christian exclaimed trying to make Olli see reason.

"But Christian ..."

"Oh shut up! Stop with the bloody whining and grow a back bone. So you fucked some kid." Christian exclaimed in exasperation as he grabbed Olli by his upper arms and violently shook him.

"Christian?!" Olli was flabbergasted by the words that had just escaped his gentle boyfriend's lips.

"What? You thought I was some kinda saint. I have an extensive vocabulary which would make a sailor blush." Christian said then letting out a calm breath he continued

"Please stop blaming yourself. The kid definitely wanted to get laid otherwise why'd he have met you for that second date when you showed him what an ass you were the first time round. He wanted to lose his virginity so he lost it. You gave him a Roofie that I agree was stupid. But if he was a boxer when you met him and he didn't want to sleep with you then he'd have definitely kicked your ass before you even made to the bedroom. The string bean that you were back then I could've easily kicked your ass even if I was down with the flu" Christian lectured him his anger causing him to inadvertently almost confess the truth.

"H... how ...how do you know what I looked like back then," Olli stammered.

_*shit faux pas Christian Major faux pas.*_

"Ummm... remember the dinner at Charlie's she showed those pictures." Christian quickly answered thanking heaven that just like any other adoring mother Charlie had made it a point of showing to Christian each and every picture of Olli that she had in her possession; including one of him when he was a year old sitting naked in a bathtub happily chewing on the trunk of a bright red rubber elephant.

Christian chuckled remembering that picture.

"Why are you laughing now?" Olli demanded with an irritated frown.

"You - bath tub - rubber elephant," Christian gasped doubling over in laughter.

"I'm gonna burn that picture," Olli said in a huff as a blush blossomed on his cheeks.

Christian kissed the blushing man and said "Olli the past is dead and gone. So please forget it and don't ruin our present. You are perfect in my eyes and like I said we both have events in our past that we aren't too proud of. But we shouldn't let that ruin this life that we are building together," cupping the older man's face in his hands he continued, "emphasis on together. Because I...Lo...like you a lot and I don't want to lose you ever again." Christian said and placed a gentle kiss on Olli's lips.

Olli heart soared Christian had almost confessed his love to him. But then his mind focused on the 'lose you ever **again**' when had Christian lost him previously he wondered, but he decided to focus on the here and now filing away that little bit of information. He could investigate the meaning of those words some other day. He gave in to Christian's gentle ministrations as the blond placed fleeting kisses along his jawline, down his throat and then returned to his lips.

He walked Olli backwards until the back of his knees connected with the edge of the couch and he sat down on it soft thump. Christian who hadn't let go off him straddled his lap. Olli tilted back his head to look into the mischieviously glittering pair of aquamarines which gazed down at him with open adoration in them.

Christian lowered his head and captured Olli's lips in a deep telling kiss it was as if he was stamping his imprint on Olli's lips claiming the brunette as his for eternity.

He hugged Olli and when he felt Olli's arms encircle him as well whispered in his love's ear. "You are mine and nothing you say or do can ever change that. You are my other half and now that I've finally found you I'm never gonna let you go."

00000000000000000

Chapter End Notes:

This chapter came off too wierd and un-inspired.

Basically it sucked.

Es tut mir leid

I'll understand if you don't leave a review for this one

Küsse an alle

_**RG**_


	14. Chapter 14 A Confessional

**CHAPTER 52 - A Confessional ... An Enemy Arises**

Christian lay watching Olli as the older man slept peacefully by his side.

Tonight had been highly emotional.

Christian could see the damage in Olli.

The man was mortally scared and completely convinced that he was a criminal.

How was he supposed to handle this?

Olli had confessed his past to Christian on his own accord.

It was only right that Christian extended him the same courtesy.

But what was he supposed to say to Olli?

He definitely couldn't come right out and say something like "Hey Olli! Wanna know something funny that kid you think you raped - that's me dude!"

Restlessly he turned to his side and stared at the lava lamp that stood on his bedside table.

Finally, unable to take it any longer he got out of bed. Picking up his laptop he headed to the living room.

Lounging on the sofa he switched on his laptop and plugged in the headphones. Slipping it over his head he started the media player and played his favourite selection of songs ranging from Poets Of The Fall to Sarah Mac Lachlan.

With the music blaring in his ears he proceeded to vomit out his anger, frustration and feeling of helplessness at his inability to confess the truth to Olli in his private cyber diary in . His fingers flew over the keyboard and the turmoil inside him slowly abated. Once he had vented his feelings and committed them to the screen he felt a slight relief.

_" 26 APRIL: Till a couple of months back I'd only heard the proverb "Life always comes a full circle for everyone" and never given it much importance. But now that I've been through a situation that truly explains it I have realized that our ascendants weren't lying when they quoted that proverb. _

_You must be wondering what I' talking about. _

_In one of my first blogs I've written about this guy I met online almost 7 years back. I fell for him hard. _

_We had only two dates, the second of which ended with us in bed._

_The next morning when I got my the guy had left. So I just thought that it was a one night stand and for years I hated him. _

_Those who have been following my confessionals have read the amount of shit I've written about him. I hated him for years on end and spewed venom against him in a language which was hightly plans of revenge that I had cooked over many nights planning to put them into action when I met him again. And I did meet him again and best of all he doesn't remember me. No, that's wrong he definitely remembers the kid I was but now he doesn't recognize the adult version of the kid. _

_All thoughts of revenge flew out the window coz I fell for him again actually come to think of it I never fell out of love with him in the first place. And tonight I came to know the reason I didn't hear from him again after that night. The truth shook me to the core he couldn't contacty me because he was in hospital for 4 long months because that night after he left my side as he was returning home he was bashed within an inch of his life. To worsen facts he is under the impression that he had forced 'the kid' (me) to go to bed with him. Which makes everything much more difficult coz if I confess to him that I'm the kid he'll either think that I'm playing a cruel joke on him or think I'm suffering from Stockholm syndrome which causes me to admire my attacker. I want to tell him the truth I want to tell him my true identity before someone else acquaints him to it or he figures it out for himself. I am so not sure how to go about this._

_I'm open to suggestions. Please help."_

His heart and mind lightened he logged out, switched off his laptop and headed back to lie beside his boyfriend and fly away to the land of dreams.

Next morning as he sat eating his breakfast Olli came and kissed the top of his head before sitting down beside him and openly stared at him. Christian noticed and frowned slightly, "What's wrong?" he asked.

Olli smiled gently and replied, "Nothing, do you know just how beautiful you are?"

"Wouldn't handsome or dashing be far more appropriate for my gender, I am a man after all." he said slightly offended.

"Mmmmm...No, you're beautiful inside as well as outside." Olli replied wiping crumbs off Christian's chin, his eyes bright with tears. "You're real aren't you?" Olli whispered disbelief in his voice as he gently caressed Christian's cheek lightly with his fingertips. His eyes roamed Christian's face as if committing this image of the blonde man to his memory for posterity.

Christian felt uneasy, Olli's odd behaviour was making him very uncomfortable. He turned towards Olli and grasping the caressing hand fearfully said "Olli, you're scaring me. Please tell me what is wrong. You aren't planning to leave are you?"

Olli gently smiled and shook his head, "No, I definitely am not planning to leave you come what may."

"Promise, you won't leave." Christian demanded with vehemence

"Scout's honor" Olli replied and kissed his boyfriend.

Christian pulled him into his arms and buried his nose in the curve of Olli's neck to taken in lungfuls of Olli's unique perfume.

The regular reader of Christian's blogs couldn't believe her eyes as she read the new blog that Christian had put up. So the man he was dating was his first love that drunk guy who left him after sex. This was good This was really really good for her. Christian had crossed her one too many times she would never forgive him for breaking up her relationship with Felix.

This was beyond fantastic. The man who prided himself for his honesty wasn't being honest with his own boyfriend. She couldn't help but laugh out loud at the irony of the situation.

The cogs and wheels of her scheming brain spun with ferocity as she planned to out Christian's little secret to Olli. Olli was a nice guy and she truly liked him but then Christian needed to be taught a lesson he would never forget. Hopefully after this he'd keep his nose out of her business.


	15. Chapter 15 - A Question to Ask

**CHAPTER 53 - A question to ask, A resolution to follow.**

Olli entered the gym and stood beside the door hidden from Christian.

He watched as Christian sparred with one of his fellow boxers who he trained with on a regular basis.

Olli hadn't always been a boxing fan. as a teenager he had preferred Tennis as he himself was quite adept at it. He had always thought of Boxing as a barbarian sport which only someone who wasn't right in their head would be stupid enough to take up. His views mostly painted by all the horrible injuries he had seen boxers endure on television.

But all his views and thoughts had flown right out the window when he had met a young boxer online.

As he watched Christian knock his opponent off his feet Olli couldn't help but feel that meeting Christian was God's way of giving him a chance to right the terrible wrong he had done.

Christian and Justus were like two peas in a pod.

They were the same age.

They loved the same sport.

They even had almost identical blue eyes

And

Justus had been headed to college to get his teaching degree and Christian was a teacher.

Olli believed in fate and salvation. He saw this as God's way to make Olli pay penance for his actions of years ago.

Suddenly out of the blue a memory of Justus flashed and he realized something.

Christian had earned his teaching degree from_ Heinrich-Heine-Universität _the same university and the very same course which Justus had been accepted into back then.

Maybe they had been classmates!

Thank God he had confessed.

Asking Christian if he knew a Justus would be that much easier now.

A sense of relief washed over Olli if he found Justus and received forgiveness from the boy... a man now. Then he could truly be happy in this new life that he was building with Christian. Olli smiled brightly as Christian exited the ring and heading towards the locker room exchanged a glance with him.

Christian knocked down his sparring partner.

The man sat up and Christian helped him back onto his feet.

"Good show!" exclaimed the beaten man.

"You too." Christian said to the man shaking his hand.

He go out of the ring and headed to the locker room. That's when he saw Olli standing near the gym door brightly smiling back at him. He mouthed "I'll be right there with you." Olli mouthed back "I'll be right here."

As Christian dressed after his shower he pulled out the t shirt from the locker his eyes fell on the bottle of juice that Olli put in his gym bag every single day because Christian had the notorious habit of forgetting it on the dining table. He smiled as he picked it up, unscrewed the cap and took a deep gulp of the mixed fruit juice that Olli specially prepared for him.

He stood in front of the full length mirror in the locker room and looked at his muscle definition which had improved quite a lot in the lot few months ever since Olli had moved in with him.

When he had moved in Olli had been a quite man a polar opposite of the cocky waiter he had met years ago. But 6 years was a long time and with what he had been through it was obvious there would be changes in his personality not to mention there was a vast difference between a 24 year old and a 30 year old's maturity level.

It had been two weeks since Olli had revealed the past to him but he had still not been able to screw up the courage to divulge the truth to Olli.

As Christian walked out of the locker room he came to a resolution. He would tell Olli everything...

After he returned from the 10th grade field trip he would be chaperoning over the weekend.


	16. Chapter 16 So Near Yet So Far

**CHAPTER 54 - So Near Yet So Far.**

Olli climbed up the stairs after bidding goodbye to Christian for the weekend.

When he reached his door the door of the opposite flat opened and Luise who stood inside gave a loud sneeze.

"God Bless You," Olli said and chuckled, "Hope you aren't coming down with something?" he asked sympathetically.

At that moment Gregor peeped out, a wide grin on his face, "Nope, the royal nostrils were offended by dust so they showed their displeasure," the older Mann quipped earning a swat from his wife.  
Olli was still a little amazed by how the princess had easily adjusted to commoner life.

As he stood pondering Gregor came up to him.

"Hey why don't you help me get the next load down and give the royal nose a rest." And quickly ducked behind Olli to avoid being hit by the cushion that Luise threw his way. "Missed me," he teased peeping over Olli's shoulder and stuck his tongue out at his wife before beating a quick retreat up the stairs to the attic. Olli followed laughing at the couple's squabble and Gregor's childish antics.

"What are we doing up here anyway," Olli asked as they sifted through things that hadn't been touched in at least half a decade.

"Cleaning up." Gregor said smile.

"Duh! That's obvious. But why now?"

"Well I want to make place for my 'bachelor stuff' as Luise calls them."

"Okay!"

For the next hour and a half they worked hand in glove sifting through old clothes, old shoes, broken furniture, party decorations, even some old toys and a whole load of odds and ends.

Until finally Olli came upon a box marked, "**_Christian's Life In Pics_**"

"What's this?" Olli asked with a puzzled smile

"Oh! That" Gregor looked at the box and gave a reminiscent smile, "Christian's junior high and high school photos, he went through this phase when he and his camera were inseparable. Take them down to your place and have a look at what a curious character your boyfriend used to be. "

Olli quickly went and stowed the box away to go through at leisure.

00000000

After the attic was cleaned out.

Both men showered and went down to the bar to pull in the dough.

It was an extremely lucrative Friday night. Two simultaneous bachelor parties meant that the booze disappeared and not the ordinary kind but the expensive one. So it was a satisfying night all around.

At 2 o'clock when he climbed up the stairs he was too tired to think of anything except his bed.

He barely has the consciousness to crawl into bed and then slept like the dead until 7 in the morning when his alarm rang.

Hearing the loud trill he sprang out of bed then grimaced. It was a Saturday morning and he didn't have morning shift. He was planning on going back to sleep when his eyes fell on the box he had brought down the previous day.

Now was a good time as any to go through it.

Cutting the packing tape he opened the lid and took out the album kept right on top marked 7th grade.

Faces of 11 and 12 yr olds stared back at his from the slightly yellowing pictures. He could recognize the little Christian with the cheeky dimpled smile. Many were hazy proof of the childish hands that had taken them.

He kept it aside and moved on the next marked 8th Grade Vol 1

The picture taking adeptness had bettered so most pictures were clear.

As the grades increased so did the number of albums recording the events and memories that Christian wanted to preserve for posterity.

Finally when he reached Christian's the 12th Grade collection there was one album for each school function that Christian had attended.

As he opened the first one marked 'Inter-School Sports Meet' the doorbell rang.

Olli looked at the clock and realized that it was almost 10:30 his shift had begun half an hour earlier so definitely it would be Miriam at the door.

Watching Christian grow up in pictures would have to wait until after his shift ended at 3.


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 55 - This Love Story Built on Tragedy**

Olli quickly changed out of his sweaty clothes and went back to the albums. But as soon as he opened the Sports Meet album he was interrupted again by the door bell.

_*Damn! Who the hell is it now!*_

Closing the album he went to the door.

Outside stood an apologetically smiling Gregor.

"Olli I need your help," the older Mann said in almost a whisper, "I forgot that today was the Anniversary of the day when I first met Luise, and I don't wanna be in the dog house so could you please help me whip up a cake for her," the man almost begged.

"Of course," Olli answered with an understanding smile and held the door wide open to allow Gregor to enter, then shut it after him.

"Thanks a ton Man I'll owe you," the man said with a grateful sigh.

"But there's a catch," Olli replied.

"Anything,"

"I'll only instruct. You will do all the grunt work."  
"Aye Aye Captain!" Gregor said with an overly solemn face and a smart salute making Olli laugh.

"So lets start with the flour. There's a weighing machine in the cupboard under the sink. Take it out and weigh 250 gms of flour from the white lidded container on the top shelf."

"Where are you going?" Gregor asked curiously .

"I was going through those albums we found yesterday. So while you bake I'll flip through Christian's 12th grade."

The 20 minutes were quite hectic. Under Olli's firm and detailed instructions Gregor diligently measured and weighed the flour and sugar. Mixed in the baking powder. Beat the eggs, melted the dark chocolate, mixed the dough to the right consistency, put in just a smidgen of vanilla essence and finally put the dish in the pre-heated oven.

"And now for the nuts. I hope you don't need to be instructed on how to slice and dice walnuts and almonds."

"Nope!" Gregor said with an emphasised shake of his head.

"So I can finally go back to looking at the albums,"

"Yup!" the amateur cook replied with an emphasised nod.

Olli lay down on the couch and for the third time that day opened the album titled "Inter School Sports Meet"

They were run of the mill pictures of the sports events. Capturing cheering crowds among which was the tiny hardly discernable face of Gregor.

There were pictures of teenage Christian with various other teenagers all in their school jerseys and/or jackets.

Most pictures were just like any other school boy's Christian and a group of friends standing flashing the victory sign, the Yo! Sign or the devil sign. And many with the kids making bunny ears behind each other's heads.

And the last 10 capturing Christian receiving his sports awards, medals and being congratulated by the Chief Guest of the event.

He closed the album with a smile on his face Olli felt proud.

The next three albums were of a school festival, a charity concert, a rock concert that Christian had gone to and one of the Christmas dance. Christian looked cute in the grey suit he had on which was a tad big for him.

Next he picked up the album titled - PROM!

Gregor who had by then finished slicing the dry fruits came and sat down beside him.

Peering at the pictures he said, "Oh! So you've reached the prom. I still feel bad for that girl ...Lena, Lyra... No, Lisa that was her name. She was so desperately taken by him but Christian saw her as nothing more than a friend."

Olli looked the picture taken most probably at the school of Christian in a well fitted Charcoal black tuxedo standing behind a tiny brunette girl in a powder lavender strapless cocktail dress, an elaborate hairstyle and hazel eyes which were too big for her tiny face staring straight at the camera wide grins on their faces.

The next few pictures were of kids dancing.

A few of kids sulking in a corner by the food stalls.

And one of a male teachers , if not a teacher then a chaperone for the dance caught in a very awkward position of dancing, which looked suspiciously like he was doing the hokey pokey with his leg up in the air his arms flung out. Which was a little out of place as on stage in the background the band playing looked like a hardcore rock band.

Gregor burst out laughing, "Oh poor Mr Bialik. Christian's batch was so cruel instead of spiking the student's punch. They spiked the teacher's colas. Which everyone came to know when this gentleman here first did the chicken dance, then the hokey pokey and finally gave a rendition of Nessun Dorma."

"Kids can be cruel," Olli concurred softly he had been on the receiving end too many times.

Olli shut the album and put it away.

As he reached for the last one titled boldly -

GRADUATION - SCHOOL IS OUT!

FOREVER!

But before his hand had even reached it Gregor snatched it up.

"Oh! This one is too good!" he exclaimed.

He opened it and flipped a couple of pages then said, "Christian the exotic bird!"he proclaimed and turned the album around to show Olli the picture, which had Olli bursting into laughter.

"Oh! My! GOD!" Olli said as he wiped away his tears. "What possessed him to do this?" Olli said as another fit of giggles overtook him as he looked at Christian his hair streaked blue and red.

"Peer pressure the whole team did it?"

"So what did you do?"

"Turn the page you'll find the answer." Gregor said as the oven beeped indicating that the cake was done Gregor got up to check on it and then proceed to decorate it.

Olli turned the page and felt he had been stabbed in the stomach.

It was him!

The face staring back at him was the one he had seen 7 yrs earlier on his laptop screen. The dark brown hair the slightly chubby face with just a slight hint a mustache and a beard.

He had been living with his victim for the past more than 6 months.

The first instinct he had the night they had met had been bang on.

This **was** Justus.

If he had recognized 'Justus' then it was but obvious Christian must have recognized 'Florian'. Then why hadn't Christian said anything? Done anything ?

Well he had done something. He had saved his life then given Olli a place in his heart.

As he pondered over this anomally quite out of the blue his mind remembered conversations that he used to have with his rehab mates in their group discussions.

Especially one particular conversation he had with a rape victim who used drugs as an escape. He had told Olli that after the devastating trauma, he had blocked the memory of his attacker so completely that he didn't even recognize him when they had met and even held a conversation at a party thrown by a mutual friend. Only after his attacker came after him a second time did he remember everything and sadly retain every detail.

It all finally made sense.

Why there had never been a complaint lodged.

Why Gregor had been the one to talk to Cecelia.

Cecelia had said that the kid looked scared and confused like he didn't know why he was there.

All the pieces fell into place.

Christian's loyalty had been his undoing.

He had been loyal to 'Florian'. So when instead on getting back loyalty and tenderness that he deserved he was attacked, his young mind had done it's utmost to protect his sanity.

His teenage mind's coping mechanism has suppressed his memory of that night and most probably of everything Florian related. So when they met this year Christian had met a man whom according to his altered memory was a complete stranger to him.

As he intently stared at the gently smiling face of the very young and still innocent Christian a thought occurred to him. Should he jog Christian's memory?

They had a wonderful relationship which looked like it was heading towards the altar. But lying had never done anybody any good. Christian needed to know the truth. Not just needed he deserved to know the truth...

...and Olli deserved to be put away where he should have been sent 7 years ago for being a disgusting lecherous sub-animal.

000000000000000

Chapter End Notes:

Hmm ... have I written myself into a corner?

I wonder...


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER 56 - Why Is My Olli Sad Again?**

Sunday evening a bone tired Christian entered No Limits his ruck sack on his shoulder.

He was barely able to keep his eyes open.

Travelling with a group of 70 screaming over energetic teenage girls had been harsh on him.

However he was elated that from the next day Christmas holidays were beginning so he could sleep in as late as he wanted to.

Olli watched him come in and almost knocked him off his feet with the force with which he leapt on the younger man enveloping him in a tight embrace. They gently rocked side to side and Christian hugged him back. Christian buried his nose in the curve of Olli's neck to breathe in his man's unique fragrance which somehow made him feel reinvigorated.

They had been apart for only a little over 48 hours yet Christian had desperately missed him.

Well now he had 3 whole weeks to be with his man exclusively.

Miriam came over, poking Olli in the back she whispered, "I hope you remember that we have customers to take care of."

The couple unwilling separated, "Yes, I remember Miriam." Olli replied in an irritated tone turning towards her.

Christian pulled away and placing a kiss on Olli's cheek drew away the older man's attention from his employee before she got an earful.

"You get back to work," he softly told Olli, then sniffing himself he gagged "Man! I stink. I'll take a shower and see you after you're done. Okay."

Olli gently kissed him and nodded, "Sure Schatz," his voice brittle and his eyes glazed with tears.

Christian felt a little uncomfortable with the way Olli looked at him.

The haunted sadness that had been in Olli's eyes when he moved in with Christian months ago was back again and that desperate embrace was quite disconcerting for Christian.

As he climbed the stairs he wondered what had happened in the last two days that had caused the old sad Olli, who had all but vanished since they had become a couple, to reappear.

He puzzled over this question while he showered and then dressed.

Finally, he came to the simple conclusion that this had been the first time they had been apart for longer than a few hours. For Olli who had been struggling with so many issues for so long Christian suddenly not being there at the end of the day might have made him feel abandoned.

Though he was completely wrung out by the hectic field trip he decided to wait up for Olli to return back home.

Switching on the television he channel surfed and finally settled on the sports channel to pass the time. As he tried to give the television his full attention his tired body dragged him down and he was soon lying down on the sofa snuggling into the pillows.

His eyelids drooped as slowly his exhaustion got the better of him. Soon the only sounds in the flatshare were of Christian snoring, a tennis ball being volleyed back and forth, a commentator announcing the scores at a regular interval and the soft cheer of spectators.

At 9 when his shift finally ended Olli slowly climbed up the stairs and walked to the flat door.

He fumbled in his pocket for his keys and quietly unlocked the door.

He could hear soft voices that meant Christian had company so at least for the time being he wouldn't be alone with him.

But when he finally opened the door he was disappointed to see that it was the sound of the television.

He could see Christian lying on the couch his face turned towards the television intently listening to the animated discussion going on between the Olympic Gold Medallist Boxers Jorge Gutierrez and Henry Maske.

He headed for the kitchen but stopped in his tracks when he heard a snore. He turned to look at his boyfriend and realized that the television was playing for a fast asleep man. As he reached down to pick up the remote lying beside the younger's man's head. Christian instinctively turned his head and sighed in his sleep.

Olli quickly shut off the television. But his eyes couldn't bear to leave the sight of the peacefully sleeping face

Placing the remote on the side table he leaned over the back of the sofa and gently caressed the sleeping man's cheek with the back of his fingers.

There was no denying that this man had captured him heart and soul for eternity.

He again wondered if what he planned to do in a few days time was really necessary. He could just bury the past and continue to move forward with Christian. Then he hardened his heart again. It had to be done. But in the meanwhile he could enjoy these last few days of peace and love with him.

Leaning down further he placed a soft kiss on the bow lips .

Something disturbed his nap it was most probably the desk bang that he had heard.

He realized that the television was still on but he felt too lazy to get up and switch it off actually he was feeling too lazy to even open his eyes.

Christian heard the rattle of the keys in the lock indicating that Olli was home.

He heard the soft snick of the door as it was shut again.

He wondered if Olli would wake him up. When he didn't hear a sound he gave a snore hoping that would attract the man's attention. The lights hitting his eyelids reduced and Olli's scent nuzzled his nostrils. Olli was leaning over him to reach the remote. He turned his face seeking more of it and sighed in pleasure.

He wondered how Olli managed to always smell fresh even after being on his feet and working for hours on end.

The sound of the television halted and he heard a soft clatter as the remote was kept on the side table.

He felt the caress on his cheek, then the touch of the soft gentle kiss on his lips.

He instantly wrapped his arms around his man and pulled him over himself.

Opening his eyes Christian met the emerald pair and said, "I feel like Sleeping Beauty."

"Y...you're awake," Olli stammered.

"Yes, my prince." Christian replied before capturing his mouth in a heated kiss.

Later as they sat eating dinner Olli suddenly turned to him and out of the blue asked

"Christian we've been together for how long now?"

"About 4 months give or take a week," the younger man sincerely replied

"And you know what we've never done?" Olli asked placing his fork back on his plate

"What?" Christian asked with a frown looking at him curiously.

"Gone on a proper date." Olli softly exclaimed.

"A date?"

"Yah! A date! Dinner at a restaurant , catch a flick, make out instead of watching it. The whole shebang."

"You want me to take you out on a date?!" Christian exclaimed incredulously.

"No! **I** want to take **YOU** out on a date!" Olli answered

"Why?" the younger man asked in genuine surprise

"Just for fun."

"For fun?"

"Yes, for fun."

"So you're asking me out on a date like in High School date." Christian queried to clarify.

"Yes, something like that."

"Oooo! Do we get to hold hands too." Christian said in a falsetto voice simultaneously cocking his head and batting his eyelashes.

"Yes I guess we do." Olli answered mirroring Christian's actions.

They both laughed at the silliness.

Olli's heart squeezed in his chest as he was surrounded by Christian's happy laughter. He wondered how he would survive losing this man.

Christian noticed that Olli's laugh didn't reach his eyes. They seemed sad and full of pain. What was it that was hurting Olli? For the second time that night he wondered what had happened in the 48 hours that he was away that had caused the reappearance of sad tormented Olli.

"So when are you taking me out on our date?" Christian asked as they cleaned up after dinner.

"Tomorrow evening so be ready by 6:30."

"Yes, Sir," Christian saluted.

As they undressed for bed Christian pulled Olli into his arms and proceeded to kiss him thoroughly.

Olli desperately returned the kisses. He put everything of his loving heart into returning Christian's kiss. He clung to Christian hungry for the contact.

The ferocity of Olli's lips on him bemused Christian but he revelled in it. Christian felt humbled that someone could adore him to such an extent, that after a separation of only 2 days Olli was acting as if it had been two years since they had last been together. He thanked whatever higher power it was that had brought Olli back into his life and led Olli straight first into Christian's home and then led Christian into Olli's heart.

As Christian eyes finally closed and sleep stole him away Christian's last thought was Olli was the man of his life and it was time they took the next step in the progression of their relationship.


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER 57 - Two Sides of the Coin.**

Christian woke up feeling well rested and over chirpy.

He literally jumped out of bed raring to begin his day.

Slipping on his robe he went in search of Olli.

He found his boyfriend sitting at the dining table staring into space as steam lazily swirled out of the coffee cup sitting untouched in front of him. Christian crept up to table quietly and sat down beside Olli. He waved his hand in front of Olli's face When that didn't elicit any reaction from the man Christian picked up the cup and sipped it. He sat quietly drinking the coffee and watching Olli who sat as if carved out of marble.

Periodically the older man blinked his eyes but other than that there was no movement.

Unable to take it anymore Christian leaned over and forcefully whispered in his ear , "Gut Morgen Schatz!"

Olli startled and almost fell off the chair.

"Man! What are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack?" Olli growled at Christian his face contorted in anger.

"What crawled up your ass?" Christian demanded back.

Olli rubbed his face with his hand then slowly answered softly, "I'm sorry." Noticing the empty cup in front of him he accused, "Hey! You drank my coffee."

"Well. You should have finished it before I came. You know how I can't resist food." he answered with his trademark innocent dimpled smile.

"I know." Olli smiled back.

Getting up Olli picked up the empty cup.

Laying a gentle kiss on the younger man's forehead he headed to the kitchen.

As he washed his cup he said, "I have to go to the wholesalers in the morning so could you lend Gregor a hand at No Limits until I return."

"Sure. No Problem." Christian answered nodding his head as he headed into the bathroom.

Christian arranged the cups on the serving tray and handed it to Miriam.

As he made up the next order Gregor came down the stairs. Seeing Christian he gave him a wide grin.

"Oh! What're you doing here?"

"Filling in for Olli,"

"Where did he go?"

"To wholesalers."

"Why? We just got a delivery on Friday." the older Mann asked puzzled.

"Why don't you take it up with him when he returns. Till then why don't you make out the bills for our dear patrons."

"Hey! I almost forgot. I guess Olli asked you about your exotic get up." Gregor asked with a wide grin.

"My what?" Christian turned towards his brother and deeply frowned at him.

"Your exotic hair."

"My exotic hair? Could you please stop talking in riddles."

"Okay, Friday after you left I got Olli to help me clear out some stuff from the attic. As I needed to put away some of my stuff that I no longer need in my apartment."

"Okay...and?" Christian wasn't liking where this was going.

"He found that box of school pictures you had stashed away there."

"Did he see them?"

"Oh Yah. He sat and went thru them at one sitting."

"Did he see the graduation pictures as well?"

"Of course they are all in the same album aren't they? They were taken on the very same day weren't they?" Gregor paused as if lost in thought then continued,"Hmmm... but here's something funny as soon as he saw those pictures, the graduation ones, he developed the oddest of expression on his face. He looked like he was about to cry or something. Odd right?"

"Yah very odd." Christian mumbled his answer.

_*So the jig was up* _

Christian wondered what had gone through Olli's mind after he saw the pictures. He knew that Olli thought of their night together as something very different from what he himself saw it as. So if Olli had discovered the truth hadn't Olli confronted him? Olli was really good at brewing and marinating in his thoughts until they overwhelmed him.

What Olli needed was a violent shock to shake him outta his stupor, stop being so passive and finally act. But how could he get Olli to talk? The man was clammed shut tighter than an oyster. Christian needed help and he knew just who he could get help from.

Olli slowly walked down the street wondering for the millionth time if all this was really necessary.

But then he had to abandon his pointless ponderings for the time being as he had reached Schneider's.

Charlie saw him and greeted him with a wide smile and happy hug, "Fancy seeing you here. That too on a Monday morning. Isn't it rush hour at your joint at this time?" she asked with a happy teasing smile.

Instead of answering he simply said, "I found Justus,"

Instantly Charlie's smile vanished and she dragged him to her office.

"Where?"

"Right here in Düsseldorf"

"How did you find him?"

"It's Christian."

"What do you mean, 'it's Christian',"

"Just like I told him my name was Florian in the same way he too gave me a fake name." Olli dejectedly elaborated for his aunt's benefit.

After he had told her everything Charlie looked at him incredulously,

"This seems like the story of a very badly written fan fiction," she commented.

"I know. Six months Charlie! Six Months! I've been living with him and not even once did I suspect that he was that boy."

"Wait a second...Hold on. Christian is 24... almost 25 right"

"Yes."

"He turned 24 this past April right?

"So?"

"That means that when you met him and slept with him he was of legal age."

"He may have been so. But I didn't sleep with him I drugged him. First drugged him and then forced myself on him."

Aunt and nephew argued at length. But Charlie couldn't sway his determination to out himself to Christian, who had as Olli claimed 'forgotten the incident due to mental trauma'

"So what are you going to do?" Charlie finally asked.

"Recreate that night to jog his memory,"Olli replied.

Running a hand over his buzz cut hair he said regretfully, "I wish I hadn't cut my hair. I could have combed it into a resemblance of the beetle growth I used to sport back then. I guess the clothes will have to suffice."

"But those clothes..."

"Were discarded at the hospital. I know. But hopefully I shouldn't have any difficulty in finding identical stuff. The items I wore that day are scorched into my brain for eternity as is every single detail of that night. I'm going to duplicate the whole night frame by frame and tomorrow I'll be coming to live with you."

"I won't wish you luck Olli. I hope to God his memory stays blocked."

"Fat chance."

Charlie watched Olli walk out of her restaurant head held high, determination in his demeanour.

Of all the times to finally show strength Olli had picked the worst possible scenario.

This heartbreak was going to, if not kill at least seriously maim Olli for life.

She locked herself in her office bathroom and cried for her nephew, her surrogate son.

The boy whom she had brought with so much love and care didn't seem to be able to catch a break and find the true love that he deserved.

Christian saw Olli enter and smiled . In a role reversal of the previous evening he ran up to him and hugged him causing Olli to drop his bags of purchases.  
"Hello my prince where have you been all morning?" he asked before noticing the bags lying at their feet.

"Mmmmm shopping I see, for our special date right?" Christian enquired with a sweet smile. They heard a loud colorful exclaimation

"Gregor is pissed so be careful" Christian informed Olli reluctantly letting go of him.

"I'll go and put away this stuff then relieve you. Okay." Olli said picking up the bags

"I'll wait for you, my love." Christian dramatically said earning a smile from Olli as he climbed up the stairs.

"Anybody would mistake you for a 13 yr old girl." Miriam jibbed at him her eyes flitting across the bar to a particular wide eyed brunette occupying the table at the farthest corner of the cafe.

Christian followed her gaze and retorted back "Takes one to know one,"

Once Olli had taken charge of the order preparations Christian gave him a kiss and said, "While you work I'll go work out in preparation of tonight," Olli shyly smiled at him blushing at the innuendo.

Christian dead bolted the flat door and hooked the door chain for extra precaution before he headed into the bedroom to snoop in Olli's purchases. He quickly went through them and the purchases threw him a bit. Clothes and a DVD?

But when he looked at them closely the purchases made sense.

A red jacket

A sparkling white wife beater and dark blue jeans with a studded black leather belt - an exact replica of what he had worn on their date night. And the DVD he had picked up was of the Vin Diesel movie that he hadn't ever watched in full because it always reminded him of his vanished crush. Tonight he would finally watch it.

Packing up his gym bag he quickly headed out. His destination but obvious. There was only one place he could go, only one person he could approach who could help him fix this cross connection, muddled up mess.

He looked in on Olli. Finding him talking to a patron without prelude he grabbed Olli and planted a knee weakening kiss on him before heading out. A happy spring in his step.

000000000000000

Chapter End Notes:

I wonder how many are still interested in this work? I guess the way I've dragged it out for so long I might I lost 90% readers by september.


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER 58 - Just Breathe In... **

Christian wanted to jump, run around, dance and clap his hands in glee as he picked up his purchase. Luck was on his side.

Everything he wanted was available right down to the tiniest specification.

He literally skipped along as he headed to the station a silly ecstatic grin plastered on his face.

He boarded the train with his purchase and headed back towards home. Travelling such a long distance for one particular item ... actually two particular items may seem odd to many people but for Olli Christian could go to the ends of the earth.

As he walked to Schneider's flakes of the first snow of the winter settled on his hair, jacket covered shoulder and eyelashes. He hoped that the snow wouldn't play havoc with his and Olli's date tonight because he planned to make some serious changes to their date and hoped Olli wouldn't keel over due to the shock.

Charlie didn't smile in greeting as he entered as she usually did.

Christian was further taken aback by the lady's demeanour because as he kissed her on the cheek in greeting she almost jumped away from his touch.

"So Auntie Charlie ... I hope you don't mind me calling you Auntie as I hope to make you permanently my Auntie very soon. I have it all planned out but no telling Olli i want to surprise him or scare the crap outta him which ever happens first." He said in one breath, then dragged out his single question, "So Auntie How ...have ...you ...been?" hoping in the mean time his rambling of calling her Aunt and the strong hint would take root; and it did! Charlie's eyes bulged in her sockets and she stared at Christian as if he had sprouted a second head.

Christian took out the small box from his jacket pocket and opening the lid held it up so that Charlie could examine its contents.

"Christian these are...they are...you are..." Charlie stuttered and stammered, her gaze flitting back and forth from his smiling face to the contents of the tiny box back to his face.

"I take it you approve. So could you reserve a table for us for a late supper say 10 o'clock better still 10:30. That should give me enough time to get him dressed again after the date he has planned for us."

Christian saw her shocked, extremely scared expression as she stared at him and kissed her cheek.

"What's wrong?" he gently asked with a soft smile.

"You want to..."

"Marry Olli?" he completed for her. "Yes, of course! The rings are a blatant proof to that fact, aren't they?" he said happily grinning down at her.

When she still didn't crack a smile his smile too dissipated and he asked, "Why do you look like I just told you that I planned to shoot Olli."

"Well shooting him would be a better option," Charlie mumbled.

"WHAT?" Now it was Christian's turn to look at her in shock.

"Wait a sec... hold on... Olli told you? Of course he would!" Christian rolled his eyes and his smile flowered again.

Charlie didn't know whether to be shocked and surprised by Christian's plans or confused by his odd behaviour. She finally settled to being a combination of all three.

Christian saw the emotions flash across her features and decided to make her privy to his knowledge.

"I've known who Olli was from the first day I met him." He said softly leaning in closer

"What?!"

"Mmm Hmm. I did."

"Then why didn't you say something?"

"What was I supposed to say? Hey Olli remember the kid you had a ONS with? Guess what I'm that kid. Nice introduction."

"Christian he never thought of that night or you as ..."

"A one night stand. I came to know that after he collapsed at No Limits. He told me the whole sordid story. I want to kill Lukas for what he did." he said through gritted teeth.

"I want to see 'Florian' the fun loving, open hearted guy I developed a crush on. I want Olli to turn back into that guy,... not the addict of course not him ... ,but the sober date who bought me ice-cream- Chocó Chip Dutch Truffle." he finished with a reminiscent smile

"Well I would expect you to remember the food you had," Charlie said with a weak smile.

Christian hugged her, "Cheer up Charlie. I promise I'll take care of him. I will heal him. He's under my protection now and nothing will touch him again. I swear to you."

"He deserves some happiness after all the shit he has been through." Charlie replied on the verge of tears.

"I know. So will you reserve the table?"

"Yes, Okay, Sure."

"Umm... Charlie do you have any idea what he has planned for tonight?"

"He plans to replay your second date." she answered dabbing her eyes.

"Okay, but why?"

"He has the notion that Justus... that you have blocked out the events of the night and actually all memory of Florian because of the trauma you had been through."

"Huh!" Christian was completely puzzled.

"Trauma Coping Selective Amnesia*. A true proven psychiatric ailment. Especially common among male rape victims. Most go into deep denial and then their mind blocks it out."

Charlie explained.

"Hmmm..." Christian stood thinking for a few seconds then he weakly smiled at Charlie, "Okay thanks for the info Charlie and Charlie please don't tell him I know. Please I want him to tell me to my face what he feels. Will you do that for me?"

"If it means giving Olli the happiness that has eluded him for so long my lips are sealed." the lady said as she hugged him.

Christian came out of Schneider's hands tucked in his jacket pocket the right clutching the ring box.

As he walked back towards No Limits head bowed he never noticed the soft breeze that had started to blow and the snowing abruptly stopping giving way to the sun. He was almost at the door when he finally snapped out of his reverie and realized the change in weather. A smile flowered on his face. Even the Gods seemed to approve of his plans. Opening the door he walked in.

Olli was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Olli?" he asked Gregor who had just come from the storage room bottles of milk in hand.

"Upstairs with Rob, our place is kind of empty. So he went up to discuss the wedding stuff at peace and not be in the way while we clean and restock for the evening crowd."

"Gregor...He has taken the whole night off, right?"

"Yes, little brother. He has." Gregor confirmed, "We called in a bar tender from the temp agency to cover his shift for tonight. No worries, no disturbances, no problems. Satisfied?"

"Very!" Christian exclaimed. Kissing him on the cheek he ran up the stairs to Olli.

Flinging the door open he saw Olli sitting on the dining table and pounced on him.

Planting a kiss on him Christian pulled back and started piling up all the lists and papers spread across the table. He turned to Rob and dumped them in his arms most of it landing in the event manager's lap,  
"Sorry Rob but Olli and I finally have a date tonight so could you like do this some other time,"

Kissing Olli again this time chastely he whispered, "I'm going to take a shower, I would have invited you but that would just distract us from our night. So go get dressed."

Humming to himself he kicked off his shoes sending one under the couch and the other under the fridge he went into the bathroom.

"He's really excited, anything special?" Rob asked as he gathered up all his things.

"Yes, in a way. This will be our first official date."

"WOW! Really" Rob exclaimed as he shouldered his bag and picked up his folders.

"Yah." Olli answered holding the door open for him.

"Have a great time then." Rob wished him and headed out the door

Olli shut the door and headed to his former bedroom to get changed.

Showered and smelling fresh Christian carefully tiptoed back to their bedroom with the ring box tucked in his robe pocket. He wasn't surprised to find the bedroom empty. He knew Olli wanted to make an entrance so as to jolt his 'memory'.

He hurriedly tucked the box in the inside pocket of his dinner jacket and quickly hunted up Olli's suit as well. Hanging them up on the hat rack in preparation of the second phase of their date he changed into his casual wear.

Christian looked at his watch for the umpteenth time and finally decided to hurry Olli up.

"Olli, it's almost 6:30!" he called through the locked door.

"I'm coming," came Olli's soft answer and the door opened.

For a second Christian really was taken back to the night of years ago. The clothes definitely were a complete replica of the other set he had worn back then - right down to the red converse on his feet.

"Red Hot!" Christian seductively hissed.

Offering his arm Olli answered, "Come lets go."

Christian couldn't help but adoringly stare at Olli as the older man drove.

"Stop staring at me like that. You're making me nervous." Olli chided.

"Get used it my love. Because tonight all eyes will be on you."

"Why?" Olli asked almost fearfully.

"Coz you're hot, and my date."

"And you're still in high school."

"Oh then we can make out in your car after the date until Gregor threatens you to stay away from his widdle brother." Christian answered with an innocent angelic smile and batted his eyelashes.

"Now I'm sure you're still in pre-school," Olli said softly laughing.

"We're here!" Olli announced as he parked and turned off the engine.

Christian knew without looking where 'here' was, but for Olli's benefit he acted surprised and raised it a bar.

"Green Sam's! WOW! I haven't been here since high school. Talk about blast from the past!"

Olli watched Christian for any kind of reaction other than surprise and was disappointed when he saw none.

He thought he had seen shock when Christian had seen his attire but that turned out to be lust.

Christian had truly buried their night together very deep in his psyche. But hopefully by the end of this night everything would be laid bare.

They ate, talked and laughed. Olli tried to bring up topics they had touched on that night but Christian skilfully meandered away to something completely different altogether. So by the time their meal ended Olli was frustrated and Christian was gleeful.

When the bill arrived Christian reached for it by Olli beat him to it. At least one thing he was going to do as they had on that date.

They walked out of the restaurant and Christian started to head towards the car. But Olli caught his hand and halted his progress. Christian gave him a questioning glance.

"Come" Olli said tugging his hand.

Was Olli planning to buy ice cream in the middle of winter? Christian thought in confusion as that is what they had done after they had left the restaurant that night.

His confusion mounted when they bypassed the anyway shut ice cream shop and entered a pastry shop instead.

"Two Chocó Chip Dutch Truffle Mousse please" Olli ordered as he handed the kid behind the counter the money.

Innovative - was the word that popped into Christian mind as they walked back to their car eating the sweet treat. Though not the same item it was the exact same flavour.

They sat in their car quietly eating the mousse each lost in their own thoughts and plans for the rest of the evening together.

Christian hummed in content. Looking at his watch he was glad to see it was just a quarter past 8. They had enough time to indulge in some activities and then head out to Schneider's.

"You sound just like a content cat when you purr like that."

Christian stopped in mid bite and gave Olli a sideway glance.

Putting his empty mousse container on top of the dashboard he leaned against Olli and proceeded to rub up against him as he purred. He peppered kisses along Olli's jaw line then down his throat.

"Hang on tiger we have all night for that!" Olli told him as he pushed him back into his seat and then strapped Christian seatbelt for him. Strapping in his own seat belt he started up the car and drove off.

As they neared home Christian suddenly exclaimed, "Why are we going this way? the multiplex is in the opposite direction."

"We're heading back home." Olli answered simply.

"Why? I thought we were gonna catch a flick."

"Is that so? I thought we were gonna do something totally different." Olli quipped with a suggestive smirk.

In spite of himself Christian blushed hearing the older man's words.

They quickly slipped into building and ran up the stairs.

Unlocking the door Olli stepped aside and let Christian enter.

"Make yourself comfortable while I set it up" Olli told him as he switched on the TV and DVD player.

Once the DVD started running he sat down at the other end of the sofa away from Christian.

Christian slowly started shifting towards him but then Olli suddenly leapt off the couch and ran to the bathroom.

Christian frowned as he watched the door slam shut after Olli.

Shrugging to himself he turned his attention back to the television.

A minute later Olli came back out and sat down beside him.

The older man yawned and flung out his arms as he stretched.

His left arm innocently settling down on the back on the sofa.

Christian almost jumped when he felt cool fingers start to caress the back of his neck, then slowly proceed to run thru the hair at the nape of his neck. Eyes wide he slowly turned his head to look at Olli, who just gently smiled back at him.

Olli saw the shock on Christian's face. So the veil was most probably slowly lifting from his memory. Leaning closer he placed a soft kiss on Christian's mouth. Christian tasted the mouth wash which made him realize that Olli planned to replay the rest of the evening frame for frame. It was time to turn the situation on it's head. He abruptly pulled back from the kiss.

Olli watched for Christian to freak out, scream at him, attack him, as the younger man got off the sofa but instead Christian grinned back at him like the Cheshire cat.

Christian turned off the T.V hurried to the door threw the dead bolt and pulled off his jacket followed by his tee-shirt. Jumping back onto the sofa he made short work off Olli's jacket and wife beater as the older man looked on stunned.

"Now for some fun."Christian whispered as he pushed back Olli onto the couch and merged their mouths in a deep tender kiss.

Olli lost himself in the sensations of Christian's mouth on his, Christian's hands as they slowly ran up his sides down his arms and their fingers intertwined. If there was a heaven then this was it and Christian was his angel. An angel he never wanted to let go.

Without breaking the kiss Christian slowly started to get up. Pulling Olli up along with himself he manoeuvred them around the couch through the inner hall door to their bedroom without incident.

They fell back onto the bed with a muffled thud and Christian finally separated to take a breath.

Rolling off Olli he rose up on one arm and looked down at him.

Olli who still had his eyes closed breathed deeply. Well they had ended up in bed though the chain of events seemed to be different. But hey the end justified the means.

He slowly opened his eyes and stared into the curious blue set staring down at him.

Christian placed a soft kiss on his mouth and nuzzling his neck whispered.

"Make love to me,"

Olli brain screamed and told him to stop this minute. It warned him to back away but his heart couldn't refuse as Christian wound his arms around him and pulled him on top.

Olli rose up and looked into the magnificent eyes gazing up at him. A huge constricting knot of tenderness and desire tightened Olli's throat as he saw the open adoration in the azure eyes.

With slow and gentle fingers he traced the younger man's brow ridge, cheek bones, jaw finally grasping his chin he brushed a tender kiss on the bow lips.

Deepening the kiss Olli's hands moved lower to caress the muscular chest, down the taut abdomen until they encountered the top of the garment encasing the younger man's lower half.

Christian groaned and mumbled, "hurry..." against his lips.

Olli softly laughed at Christian's impatience.

He sat up straddling Christian's thighs to divest him of the rest of his clothing and Christian mirrored his actions.

Once there was no barriers between them he covered Christian's lithe long body with his own, Olli placed tender kisses on his ear, his lips, tantalisingly urging them to part and plunging his tongue inside once he was allowed access.

A series of soft beeps washed through Christian's foggy state. Picking up his cell phone to turn off the reminder he nudged Olli. "Olli, get up."

"Hmmm," Olli's eyes fluttered open. "What is it?"

"It's a quarter to ten we have reservations waiting for us for 10:30." Christian explained as he got off the bed and tugging Olli's hand getting him into a sitting position.

"Reservation? Where? Why? " Olli asked in drowsy puzzlement.

"Everything will be explained when the time come," Pulling Olli into his arms he answered. "Now let's get washed up I don't wanna be late."

After a quick playful shower they came out and Olli started to gather up their clothes which were strewn around the couch.

"Leave them we'll clean up later."

"But I need my clothes."

"Not those, I have picked out what I want you to wear." Christian replied dumping the clothes Olli held in his hand back onto the couch and lead him back into the bedroom.

"Here!" the younger man said handing him the suit along with the tie and shirt that he had picked out.

"Formal! We're going to some fancy place at this hour. Why?"

"Because I feel like it." Christian answered shortly. "Now get dressed" he commanded.

"Okay,"

"I'll drive," Christian said snatching up the keys when Olli reached for them.

"Okay," Olli conceded.

Locking up they headed out again.

"Why are we stopping here?" Olli asked with a puzzled frown when Christian parked in Schneider's parking lot.

"Because we have our reservations here." Christian gave the obvious answer.

"I realize that. But why here?"

"Because I felt like it."

"You are feeling a lot of things tonight," Olli teased with a smirk.

"And I hope to feel more," Christian said with a mirroring smirk and kissed Olli.

Niklas led them to their table.

AS they took their seats a waiter handed them their menus and presented the wine list which Christian handed right back without even glancing at it. Pinning the man with a glare he sharply instructed, "Just plain water."

Niklas who had seen the exchange pulled the rookie waiter aside, "That's Charlie's nephew and his boyfriend never present them with a wine list. They don't drink as rule and see it as an insult." The terrified waiter vigorously nodded his head at the maitre d fearing for his job. "You're new so this time you're off the hook. But remember it next time." The boy nodded again.

Christian scanned the menu with a happy smile. Olli on the other hand sat there terrified wondering what the hell Christian was up to.

"So what do wanna have?" Christian asked closing his menu.

"We just ate!"

"Two hours ago," he whined.

Grasping Olli's hand that lay on the table he rubbed the back with his thumb and whispered with a naughty smile "then we indulged in a little dancing. That built up my appetite again."  
Olli softly laughed. Opening the menu he ran his eyes over the list of items.

Once they had ordered a light supper they sat looking at each other a blissful comfortable silence between them.

A thought suddenly came to Christian and he got up.

Heading to the bar he whispered something to Niklas who smiled and nodded back .

Olli watched Christian like a hawk.

A minute later Niklas headed to their table with a bottle in an ice bucket.

AS he placed it on the table Olli glared at the offending item and hissed.

"What the heck is this?"

"Some champagne to celebrate" Christian answered sweetly.

Niklas opened his mouth to say something but Christian commanded, "Thank You Niklas you may go now."  
"You know I don't drink, Christian."

"Hmmm... I guess I must have forgotten. I do have a tendency to forget things."

As soon as the words left his mouth Olli knew Christian's memory had cleared.

000000000000000

Chapter End Notes:

(*Don't know psychology or psychiatric medicine just made it up for the sake of the story. Doctors out there please don't come after me)

Please review if you liked it.


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER 59 ...And Breathe Out Slowly in Bliss.**

"You remember?" The question just popped out.

Christian nodded averting his gaze, "I never forgot," he answered once he had the courage to look into the emerald eyes again.  
Further conversation was halted when Niklas came back with champagne flutes. Uncorking the bottle with a flourish Niklas poured out a drink for each of them.

As he left their waiter came back with their order and served them.

Olli sadly looked at his filled flute glass.

He raptly watched the bubbles as they rose and burst when they reached the surface of the liquid.

Like those bubbles his hopes too had burst and evaporated in the air.

They ate in silence broken only by the tinkle of cutlery.

Christian taking sips from his flute while Olli completely avoided even looking at his.

Christian swallowed the last morsel and discretely smacked his lips in appreciation.

Wiping his mouth with the napkin he kept it aside.

Sitting back he watched Olli intently as the older man ate slowly.

"You haven't had a sip." Christian commented indicating Olli untouched champagne flute.

"You know I don't drink Christian." Olli stated as he swallowed the morsel in his mouth.

"It's just champagne Olli. Come on it's a day to celebrate." Christian said with a poker face

"It's alcohol Christian." Olli hissed back

"Come on you can drop the 'holier than thou' act for one day can't you and celebrate another triumph". Christian answered with a cruel smile.

The words passing Christian's lips broke Olli in a place that had stayed dormant for a long time. He looked down at his plate his sight blurring as tears sprang up. He put down his fork and pushed away his unfinished plate. His airways constricted and even the sight of food made him feel nauseous. If he had another bite he was sure he'd vomit.

As he noticed Christian glare his heart sped up, he felt queasy and was sure that a panic attack was imminent.

"What the hell do I have worth celebrating today?" He asked chokingly as he rubbed his chest and breathed through his mouth.

Christian instantly got off his chair in alarm and knelt beside Olli.

"Olli just breathe," he said as he rubbed his back to ease his constricted airways.

"So... you... remember?" Olli asked haltingly

"Olli ... I recognized you the first night you came to No Limits."

"What? Why didn't you..."

"What was I supposed to say?"

"Florian...get ...out..." Olli coughed

"Olli! Breathe!" Christian commanded in panic.

Olli took in deep breaths and noisily breathed out.

"We'll talk about the past later on. At this moment anyhow I want to discuss our future. And as I'm already on my knees I think I'll just go for it." Christian said as Olli's breathing eased slightly.

"Christian please take me home. I can't do this now," he pathetically begged looking at Christian with overwhelming fear.

A hand clamped down on his thigh effectively stopping him from getting up from his chair.

"Olli, I've known you technically for the last 6 and a half years. You were the first man I fell in love with. I know you'll be the last one I'll ever love."

Olli opened his mouth to speak but Christian placed a silencing finger on his lips, "I know our time together in the past is remembered very differently by both of us. But the past is exactly what it is - the past. Neither of us can change it. All we can do is remember our mistakes and learn from it."

"Now breathe in deeply and breathe out slowly." Christian instructed him and went back to rubbing soothing circles on his back giving Olli time to digest all that he had said.

After a few cycles of the breathing exercises Olli was finally able to get himself back in control.

"Now let us move on to the main event." Christian said with a secretive smile.

Olli prayed that it wasn't what he thought it was

He watched bleakly as Christian reached inside his jacket and pulled out the black velvet box.

Olli's flee instinct went into high mode but Christian's halting hand that lay on his thigh kept him still.

"Don't move," Christian ordered him as he removed his hand from the older man's thigh.

He flipped open the ring box and held it up to Olli.

Taking a deep breath he began,

"Time has passed us by.

The tide has come and gone.

The moon has waxed and waned back and forth

The seasons have circled around many times since you left

But you have stayed in my heart and soul

Through all my ups and downs

My heart has held on to every memory

My heart has given **you** the crown

Olli, I know I'll never love anyone as much as I love you, I have waited so long to find you and make you mine. I hope you too feel the same way about me. You are the strongest person I know. You have faced the worst kinds of odds and come back to me in one piece. Olli would you please Marry me,"

"Oh that was beautiful!" Charlie who had been standing hidden softly whispered as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Olli looked at Christian and then around him unable to speak.

"Christian this isn't a prank, is it?"

"Of course not."

"You really want to...you seriously want to marry me?" he questioned him staring at him in disbelief

"Yes, I do."

"Even though I..."

"Yes, Florian Mansbrun aka Oliver Sabel. Olli I love you and I want to marry you."

Olli just blinked back at him biting his lower lip

"Olli Now can you please answer my question My knee is kind of starting to ache," Christian said in exasperation.

Olli looked at the man in front of him memorizing every detail of that moment. Finally he threw caution to wind and parted his lips to let a single word out.

"Yes.." Olli whispered.

"Yes?"

"YES!" Olli said loudly with a smile

Still kneeling on the floor Christian hugged him burying his face in Olli's chest.

"Thank You." Christian mumbled into the older man's chest. Olli hugged him back and planted a kiss on the dark blonde hair before laying his cheek against it hugging the younger man even tighter.

A murmur spread and the whole room resounded with claps.

Charlie's happy voice rang out "Champagne on the house for everyone!"

Christian stood up and pulled up his chair so that he could sit beside Olli.

He clasped Olli's left hand and extracting the smaller of the two rings slid it onto Olli's ring finger.

He held up his own left hand fingers spread as Olli slipped the identical ring on his finger.

"We're getting married," Christian softly exclaimed with a wide grin.

Olli cupped his cheek and kissed him whispering back, "Yes, we are."

Refilling his glass Christian picked it up glass and handed Olli his still untouched glass flute.

He clinked their glasses and toasted, "To Us"

Olli gave him a weak smile and proceeded to put down his glass but Christian caught his hand, "Just a sip Olli, nothing more,"

"But...Christian."

"Just one sip ...Please."

Olli heart boomed in his chest.

"Just one sip Olli for my sake..." Christian coaxed.

Olli lifted the glass to his lips and took the tiniest sip then lowered it his eyes tightly scrunched close in agony as he swallowed.

But when he tasted the liquid his eyes shot open and he stared back at the younger man's mischievously smiling face.

"It's..."

"You really thought I'd do that you?" Christian asked shaking his head in disbelief.

"Well you did say..."

"And you believed me? Thanks a lot! ...I love you Olli. I would never do anything that would hurt you. You should have seen your face when Niklas brought the bottle to our table. I was sure you were about to bolt out of here."

"Thank you." Olli said kissing his cheek.

"So how about you drink up the rest of it and we finish the bottle."

"Sure." The older man answered with a happy smile as they gulped down the rest of their flutes' content and Christian proceeded to refill them.

Their waiter who had been watching the proceedings approached Niklas and hissed, "You told me they don't drink!"

"They don't." Niklas answered as he mixed up an order of Tom Collins.

"They're drinking now."

"No they aren't."

"Right!"

Fixing the man with an angry glare Niklas spoke "Moron did you even see what I took to their table."

"Yah! Champagne."

"Why do I always get the idiots as my trainees?" Niklas mumbled in exasperation looking up at the ceiling

"What?"

"You're an idiot." The bartender barked at him "I didn't take a bottle of champagne to them. I took a bottle of sparkling cider. How could you not notice the seal of Martinelli's on the bottle cork."

"Oh...sorry boss."

"Go ring up the bill for table 16 they are motioning for it." He ordered as he went back to mixing the cocktails . The waiter sheepishly slunk off to do his work.

AS they blissfully shared their dessert Christian asked, "Do you like your ring.?"

"It perfect!" Olli answered looking down at his hand admiring his fiancé's choice. "Simple but elegant."

"And we'll move them to our right when we get married. Unless you want sometime in platinum and diamonds."

"No I'm a simple guy with simple tastes. This is enough for me."

"Oh so I'm simple now," Christian pouted.

"No you're unique and extraordinary."

"How about we go home and I show you exactly how much extraordinary I can be."

"I'm game." Olli returned with a suggestive smirk.

Eyes locked they both said simultaneously, "Cheque please!" and burst into laughter at their synchronised action.

000000000000000

Chapter End Notes:

SO wat do u think?

Like it?

Hate it?

a few crumbs plz


	22. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER 60 -Thru The Night**

They entered the flat and fell onto the couch laughing on some porno joke that Olli had heard from Anna.

One of them inadvertently hit the remote lying on the sofa and the TV came on. The picture paused on a scene of a red convertible taking a nose dive off a bridge.

Christian looked at the screen for a few seconds then turned to look at Olli, "You know I've never till today ever seen this movie completely."

"You're kidding!" Olli exclaimed.

Christian looked at Olli's hand and played with the ring he had place on it that evening.

"It's true. Every time I tried to watch this movie all I could remember was you. The things you told me. All the advice you gave me. I was angry at you for sometime then I became resigned that you would never come back. But how do you move on from a broken heart?"

"But you moved on. You had other boyfriends."

"I tried Olli. But you had set the bar too high. None of them could compete."

"What about that Brad guy?"

"He came close but then..."

"...he was already married."

"You used to be so different back then. What happened to you?"

"Bashing, rehab and then the information that I had attacked a minor ..."

"So you had been beating yourself up for six years thinking that you had ... assaulted me. And you found out over the weekend that I was that kid. What did you plan to do tonight after your big reveal? Just walk out on me... again?"

"I expected you to throw me out."

"No...I'd rather hug you," Christian said and followed the words with the action.

Tucking his head under Olli's chin he pushed play on the DVD player's remote and watched as the suspended car continued on it journey downwards path and finally hit the water surface with a resounding splash.

As the movie progressed shoes and coats were discarded as the couple on the sofa got comfortable.

They lay down with Christian's head on Olli's chest and the older man's arms around him quietly watching the movie they had started watching together that summer night of long ago.

Finally when the end credits rolled Christian sighed. Trying not to disturb Olli he tried to get up but Olli's gentle kiss on his head told him that the older man was still awake.

"Wow! You really know how to lie still."

"My legs fell asleep a half hour ago." Olli said refusing to both move and let go of Christian.

Christian looked up at him with a mischievous smile, "I could carry you."

"You could try." Olli countered.

"You don't think I can?"

"I'm sure you can't" Olli replied with conviction.

The next instant Olli found himself swung up and off the sofa cradled in strong arms.

Carrying him in the direction of their bedroom Christian declared triumphantly, "Proved you wrong."

Olli just laid his head against the younger man's shoulder closed his eyes and sighed contently.

Christian entered their room and sat down on the bed with Olli still cradled in his arms.

For some unknown reason he didn't feel like letting go of him. He leaned back against the slatted wooden wall at the head of their bed and just sat gazing into Olli's calm and serene face.

Olli wondered what Christian was up to. He had felt himself being lowered but Christian was still holding onto him. He felt the steady rhythmic expansion and retraction of Christian's chest and concluded that Christian had fallen asleep.

He slowly moved but there was instant slight tightening of the arms around him.

He opened his eyes and found himself looking squarely into two bright blue eyes which had the oddest emotion in them.

"What are you looking at?" Olli finally asked.

"Do you know just how beautiful you are?" Christian whispered in genuine awe

"Don't you mean handsome."

"No, beautiful." Christian replied firmly and blotted out Olli's train of thought with a firm kiss.

Laying him down Christian slowly explored the contours of Olli's lips and suckled on his lower lip.

His hands slowly trailed down the older man's arms and he entwined their fingers to affirm his decision to hold onto them for life eternal.

Olli jerked awake.

Something had disturbed his slumber but he wasn't exactly sure what.

Christian gave a soft giggle but when slowly turned to him he received a soft snore.

Olli wondered what kind of hilarious dream Christian was watching and found himself smiling.

He shut his eyes but another giggle emitted by Christian disturbed his doze and made his drowsiness retreat.

Slowly and with surgical precision he carefully slid out from under Christian's arm and leg without disturbing him, though it would take nothing less than a brass band to wake up Christian Olli still was careful not to make a sound.

He pulled on a pair pyjama bottoms and headed out

He made a trip to the loo then headed to the dining table instead of the bedroom.

Switching on the lamp that hung over the table he sat down and just gazed at his left hand.

That small sliver of metal made it look so completely different now.

After all the years of yearning he had finally found his sanctuary and salvation.

For the first time in a long time Olli felt peace and his inner chiding voice was silent for once.

All the guilt of secrecy had disappeared in one swift sweep.

His reverie was rudely broken when he heard a string of growled curses which could mean only one thing - Christian was awake and had hit his foot somewhere as he had stumbled around in the darkness of the bedroom.

A bedraggled and scowling Christian soon emerged out of the connecting door.

"Why are you awake?" Christian demanded heading towards him and squinting at the bright light.

Grabbing him by the hand Christian dragged him back to the bedroom.

Curling himself around Olli he whispered, "Go to sleep. Enjoy this silence while it lasts coz once Anna and Miriam get a load of that ring we won't have a minute of peace till after the wedding."

"I Love you." Olli softly said kissing a sleep flushed cheek.

"me too." Christian answered and burying his face in Olli's chest floated back into Morpheus's arms to where Olli too soon followed him.


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER 61 - Life Unfolds At Its Own Pace**

Christian all but leaped out of bed.

He couldn't wait to greet the new day; which was very unlike him.

As he pulled out a fresh set of sweats to wear he heard a muffled groan followed by Olli's ill tempered growl, "Turn out the damn lights before you whizz off, I have a late shift tonite"  
"Yes Boss," Christian said as he turned out the lights.

After lacing up his running shoes he turned to look at his snoring boy... no fiancé and stifled a giggle. The man refused to believe that he snored like a freight train. Unable and refusing to control himself he grabbed the fast asleep man and gave him a resounding kiss on the mouth.

Olli jumped awake, "What?WHAT?WHAT?" Olli asked eyes wide

"I'm going for my run," Christian replied with a wide grin

"You're such an ass!" the older man exclaimed then buried his head under his pillow and proceeded to fall back asleep instantly.

Laughing to himself Christian soundlessly closed the bedroom door after him and did the same for the front door.

Olli stretched his body and it protested the torture. Olli frowned wondering why he felt tired even though he'd had a decent night's sleep.

As he rubbed his eyes to get rid of the sleep he felt something cold scratch his face.

Events of the previous evening came rushing back to him. He examined the ring in the bright sunlight of the day and confirmed to himself that all that he had ever dreamed of had finally come true.

After years of agony his slate had finally been wiped clean and he could start living again.

He would be literally making a fresh start with not a live in partner or a boyfriend but his HUSBAND.

A dream... a wish... a miracle that the Gods had given him.

As the images and sensations from last night washed over him he couldn't help blushing and biting his lip... which tasted of Christian's spearmint toothpaste. Which brought back an image of a widely grinning Christian. His excited bo... fiancé ... Christian was his fiancé now, his excited fiancé's morning greeting came back to him clearer now.

Olli got out of bed with a spring in his step, suddenly all his aches and pains had vanished; his body felt light as air and he floated off to the bathroom.

Humming a jaunty tune he skipped down the steps to No Limits feeling very proud of himself for God alone knew what reason. But all he knew was this was the first day of the best days of his life and he was going to enjoy every second of it.

"Someone got lucky last night," Miriam snorted as she watched her boss strut around.

"You could say that," Olli replied with a wide grin and tweaked her nose leaning over the bar counter.

"Spare me the details," Rebecca rejoined gagging for effect as she set down her coffee cup.

"You know wat you guys need?" Olli sympathised patting them on their shoulders simultaneously.

"You both need a..."

"Ring Alert" Miriam shrieked grabbing Olli hand.

"Oh! It's beautiful," Miriam whispered dreamily as he gazed down at Olli's hand.

Rebecca turned it a couple of times thoroughly examining it , "I've seen better." she finally concluded.

"So... did he say yes?" Rebecca then asked adding insult to injury.

"He proposed," Olli informed her caustically.

"Oh... hmmm that's a bit outta character for him." Rebecca observed giving Olli a once over before turning back to her coffee.

Olli grimaced but decided not to retaliate. Instead he stalked off towards his office and the slammed door confirmed that his good mood has been severely injured.

"Wow Aren't we Sunshine Sally today!" Miriam whacked her upside her head and stalked off as well.

Miriam couldn't for the life of her make out why her girl friend of less than a week completely had it in for Christian.

Well some mysteries should remain unsolved the blond girl decided and greeted a regular patron with her friendliest smile.

If only she had known that the one time she didn't let her curiosity get the better of her was the time it was really and truly required as it could have averted disaster.


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER 62 - **

**Take It Easy, **

**Take It Easy, **

**Better Slow Down Boy **

**That's No Way To Go...**

**Does Your Brother Know?**

"I did it!" Christian exclaimed punching the air as soon as Gregor opened his flat door.

"What did you do?" Gregor asked indulgently as he let his younger very excited brother in.

"I asked him and he said YES." Christian boomed in excitement.

"Did you ask him wat I think you asked him?"

"Yes, Yes, Yes." The younger man answered with a vigourous nod of his head and the widest grin that his face had ever sported.

"DAMN! That's Great Bro!" Gregor shouted and engulfed him in a bear hug.

A groggy Luise stumbled out of the bedroom her sleep disturbed by the commotion.

"What's with all the commotion?" she demanded grumpily.

"My little brother and your brother in law is getting married."

"Oh Congratulations sweetie," coming over she hugged him.

"Thank you."

"Remind me again why I agreed to this?"

"Because you asked me to marry you." Olli said and kissed Christian proceeding to drag him out of their flat.

"Is this announcement party really that necessary?" Christian asked for the umpteenth time.

"Yes, it is!" Olli replied chuckling at Christian's very obvious discomfort. "Look at this as a rehearsal for the wedding. If you survive this that means you can survive anything."

Their entrance into No Limits was greeted with claps, cheers and wolf whistles. Soon they found themselves being passed from person to person as everyone wanted to hug and kiss them. After more than 20 minutes of this finally Gregor took charge of the situation pulling out a chair he climbed on it to gain everyone's attention.

"I think the bridal couple have been mauled enough." Which was greeted with uproarious laughter.

Luise approached her husband and handed him a glass which he raised up he looked directly at his brother and started speaking, "Christian I still remember the day you came and told me that you were gay. Shock doesn't even cover what I felt at the revelation. And I am ashamed to tell you that for a while like many fools on this planet I thought it was just some experimental phase you were going through. Because I didn't see any of the stereotypical characteristics in you. But I needed a solid whack from Charlie here before I got over my cock-eyed notion and accepted you for the great guy you were. I thank her today for showing me the light that day and I thank her again for bringing Olli into our life. Christian I hope you and Olli are as happy as Luise and I are. May God bless you both. To Christian and Olli!"

"To Christian and Olli," echoed out through the crowd.

Gregor got off the chair and went over to hug his brother.

"You know everyone is so happy for Christian and Olli. That is just so sweet, aren't they just the perfect pair." a shrill sarcastically sweet voice chirped  
All eyes turned to find Rebecca now standing atop the chair holding up her champagne flute and swaying, her eyes droopy.

"Awwwwww just look at them don't they look like a Hallmark Wedding Card Couple" she pointed to the couple standing encircled by their closest family and friends.

Miriam scurried over to the tipsy speech maker "Rebecca get down from there." She hissed tugging on the girl's arm trying to get her off the chair.

"Oh lemme talk. Christian Mr Goody Two Shoes and Mr Nosey Parker who can't keep his damn mouth shut. Here's a taste of your own medicine."

She now turned her gaze to the older Mann and slurred

"Gregor do you really know who Olli is? And how long your brother has known him.?"

"Rebecca please get off the chair and stop embarrassing the family." Tristan snarled.

"Go Screw Yourself." Rebeca spat at him.

"So Gregor do you know how long Christian has known him?"

"Of course I know." Gregor said cocking one eyebrow his temper slowly heating, "a little over six months the same amount of time I have known the man."

"Wrong wrong wrong. ... try little over six and a half years."

"Rebecca dear, you're drunk please stop embarrassing yourself" Charlie said as she directed Niklas and Luca to bodily get her off the chair and drag her out of the restaurant.

"He's the man who raped Christian." Her ecstatic shriek trilled through the open door.

Deafening silence descended in their midst which was broken only by the sounds of a fist meeting jaw followed by a loud thud.

0000000000000

Chapter End Notes:

Pfft ... I think my brain is fried.

My story has lost its chutzpah...

Sorry for the torture.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER 63 - "My Brother Is A Class A ARSCHLOCH"

Judith stood shaking with fury her hands still clenched in fists.

But her anger instantly evaporated when she saw who had been on the other end of her fist. As a knee jerk reaction to Rebecca's shocking revelation Christian had instinctively placed himself between Olli and rest of the crowd, so he instead of Olli had taken the little brunettes fist to jaw.

"Shit! Am sorry Christian," Judith instantly apologized as Gregor and Constantine helped the man back onto his feet.

Everyone was so focused on Christian that none noticed when Olli quietly and quickly slipped out of the restaurant.

"Who could have seen that coming? SAINT Olli wings were stained " Jessica snickered in glee thoroughly enjoying herself.

"Shut Up Jessica you bloody bitch. And get out. Who let you in here anyway? This is a private party" snatching away the glass she held Christian grabbed her by the arm and shoved her out the door.

As he started to shut the door he saw Olli's K75 zoom past and zip off down the street.

"Olli!" Christian yelled after the man.

But in his state of mind not to mention he had his helmet on so Olli couldn't hear the other man scream.

Christian ran back and headed up the stairs, then changed his mind and came running down again heading to the garage at the back of the building. That's when a strong arm caught him and stopped his frenzied activities.

"Let go off me Gregor. I have to find Olli,"

"No you don't," his older brother contradicted him, "he's not worth it, he's not worth you." Gregor elaborated.

"And **you** get to decide that?" Christian demands glaring at his brother trying to shake off the hand still gripping his arm.

"No, you do but as your older brother when I see ..."

"See what?"

"See you making a mistake." Gregor tries to explain

"A mistake? Loving some one is a mistake? Then you did it before me" the younger man flings back

"will you let me finish...loving is a mistake when the person isn't worth you."

"Olli is worth it. He really is Gregor." Christian's demeanour softens and becomes almost pleading as he defends his love which gives Gregor the oppurtunity to drag his brother back into the restaurant.

"But Christian he is ..." Gregor starts

"He is what?" Christian's temper again shoots up

"The man who ..." Gregor tries to say it but just can't repeat Rebecca's words

"Took my virginity? Yes, he is." Christian finishes letting his brother know in no uncertain terms how he views the situation.

"Don't you hate him?"

"That's the stupidest question I've ever heard!" Christian exclaims, "Do you hate Janine?" he cooly asks Gregor.

"Ofcourse not." Gregor answers with a reminiscent smile. "She was my first love. But the situations are completely different you can't compare one with the other. While Janine and I were together all through senior year, Olli slept with you and then just took off."

"After knowing what I do about him I know he didn't leave me by choice. I had no intention whatsoever to reveal the truth as yet." Then turning to the gathered crowd he addressed them next " Well now that the evening is officially ruined I request you all to leave so I can fix the mess that Rebecca just created."

Glasses tinkled as everyone put them down on the nearest surface and quickly filed out emptying the joint in a matter of seconds

"But Christian you shouldn't associate with that sick..." Gregor again tried

"Don't even dare to finish that sentence Gregor. Or you'll regret it." Christian dangerously warned the older man.

"I don't insult the woman you love so do me the courtesy of not bad mouthing the man I love... have loved for a long time."

"Christian Thank you." Charley whispered. "He does love you a lot."  
"I know Tante Charlie and I will keep my promise to you. Now I don't mean to be rude Charlie, Luise," he says addressing both women and pointedly ignoring his brother, "but I need to go track down Olli and fix this."


	26. Chapter 26

**CHAPTER 64 - Responsibility and Irresponsibility.**

Olli snuggled into the pillow.

It was just as comfortable as he remembered and he was gleeful to find that the place had central heating. He liked it here.

And though a tad large for him Christian's sweat pant and tee shirt were a comfort for him.

As he stared at the ceiling he wondered why he felt so calm? Shouldn't he feel betrayed? Angry? Instead he felt happy. Weird. *_Olli you have gone mad_* he told himself. But he still felt mighty cheerful.

He turned on the television and was delighted to see that "Groundhog Day" had just started.

During a commercial break he ran out to the kitchen and brought back the whole bag of supplies he had bought on his way up here.

He tore open a packet of chips, twisted open a bottle of ginger beer and was soon lost in the movie, all other thoughts banished for the night.

Christian was at his wit's end.

It was 2 in the morning and Olli hadn't returned. First he and Charlie had been of the opinion that he may have gone off to Charlie's flat to which he had a key. But when even after 10 oclock he hadn't turned up at his aunt's both Charlie and he started to panic in earnest.

As they had planned a busy night of celebration both men had left their cell phones in the apartment so as to completely avoid Olli's hankering to check up on his employees during their celebratory night on the town after their engagement party.

Now Christian wished he hadn't begged Olli to leave his cell phone.

Another couple of hours passed but Christian could only sit and hope that maybe Olli would call him. But no such luck. His cell phone stayed silent.

He stalked the house like a caged animal and finally came to stand at the window only to witness evidence that the weather had worsened.

Christian slammed his fist on the window sill as he watched the snow come down with a vengeance.

He could only hope and pray that Olli had the good sense to find shelter somewhere safe.

When at six o'clock there was still no news Christian gave into panic and ventured out. Olli and he had a common group of friends who had assured him that should Olli contact them they would promptly pass on a message to him. But none had called so far. "Where the hell are you?" Christian asked his empty car as he headed out to search for Olli.. The police informed him that Olli would have to be missing for at least 24 hours before they could file a missing person's complaint. He had visited hospitals but there were no John Does of Olli's description there Fearfully a little past noon screwing up courage he had even visited the morgue. But thankfully Olli hadn't landed up there.

Charlie called for the umpteenth time to ask if Olli had returned or not and Christian's heart ached as he answered her in the negative once again.

Feeling frustration Christian flung himself on the bed buried his face into his pillow and screamed into it. Then flipping onto his back he lay staring at the ceiling trying to figure out, once again, where Olli could have gone. He sat up and got off the left side of the bed and found himself staring at the wall full of framed pictures and finally he had an inkling as to where Olli could be. Hurriedly he pulled on his jacket and long coat stuck his feet into a pair of shoes, locked the flat and ran down to his car.

Olli yawned and turned over to his side. Though the smell of moth balls in the sheets had been a bit irritating in all he had slept peacefully through the night. He wondered if he had tortured his husband-to-be enough and whether he should head back home. Getting up he brushed his teeth and prepared breakfast, more like lunch because it was almost 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

As the eggs fried and the bacon sizzled Olli buttered his toast then poured out a glass of orange juice.

Once it stopped snowing he'd head back home he decided. But first - breakfast.

"OOOOO! I'm gonna strangle him!" Christian hissed once he confirmed that the bike, standing beside the porch covered by a tarp, was Olli's.

AS if on cue Olli came out the door bag of trash in hand.

"Hey Schatz! You're here!" the older man exclaimed cheerfully, earning a venomous glare from his tired, extremely worried and now furious fiancé.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 65 – Laying It All Bare**

Ollie ran past him to the trash cans dumped in the garbage bag he had been holding then came running back to him.

Christian opened his lips and was about to rip him a new one, but couldn't get out a single word; actually speech completely failed him when Olli wrapped his arms around Christian kissing him with a fervent passion.

*_Don't you dare respond_* his brain commanded.

*_Fuck off brain_* his heart sniped and gave brain a left hook.

Christian wrapped his arms around Olli and kissed him back with equal intensity.

Finally, when they came up for air Olli said guiltily, "Sorry for running away like that."

Christian gravely nodded his head, "Well after these past couple of months I have realized that anytime things get bad you have a tendency to bolt. I just wish…I hoped you'd trust me more now." He replied his voice tinged with hurt.

"Es tut mir leid" Olli whispered miserably, lowering his head.

Christian tilted up his face with a gentle finger under so that they were eye to eye, "I don't want an apology Olli, I want you to stop running away."

"Do you understand?" the blond asked him.

Olli nodded.

"Good … Now how about we head back into town and get some breakfast. I'm starving. Thanks to your disappearing act I didn't even have dinner." Christian scolded.

"There's food here." Olli replied with a wan smile , "I knew sooner or later you'd find me and I decided to stock up for that eventuality."

"I love you" Christian yelled lifting him into a fireman's lift and he sprinted into the cabin.

Christian was rubbing his belly after his hunger had been satiated when his cell phone chimed.

"Oh Shit!" Christian exclaimed softly under his breath as he saw the name flashing on the display.

It was Charlie.

He had completely forgotten to call her.

Hitting the receive button, he greeted her cheerfully

"Hey Charlie!"

Immediately he had to hold the phone away from his ear as the lady screamed at him over the airwaves.

Finally, when she was done he was able to get in a word,

"Yes, I have found him."

"He's fine."

"Hiding at our cabin"

"Yes I will."

"No way, no way in hell, you can do that personally." Christian responded forcefully to something Charlie said they spoke a little longer before she got off the line.

Olli had been waiting for Christian to finish the call then asked "what did she say?"

"She's pissed ."

"I figured as much" Olli replied gravely.

"Next time please run to her apartment," Christian advised Olli, " the poor lady was beside herself with worry for you. Plus the weather you took off in wasn't at all suitable for a bike ride and only gave wings to her imagination to all the things that could've happened to you."

Grabbing Olli by his arms Christian firmly shook him, "Don't you dare ever repeat what you did last night."

Next moment he pulled Olli into a tight embrace, "God Olli! Do you have absolutely any idea how I felt when I couldn't find you? I looked for you everywhere… I rang every damn hospital in our ten mile radius. When I still hadn't found you at dawn I even rang up the damn morgue! Oh God dammit Olli I lost you once … if something had happened to you I would have finished myself. " he sobbed into Olli's shoulder

Olli melted in his embrace. The ferocity of Christian's feeling shook Olli to the core.

Strong … stoic Christian…who never let his emotions get the better of him was sobbing in his arms.

Slowly he led them both to the couch. Sitting them down he pulled the blond tighter into his chest as Christian's dam of long bottled up emotions broke and ran their course.

He ran soothing circles on his back and kissed his hair trying to comfort him.

"Dammit! Look at what you have turned me into!" Christian growled as he pulled away wiping the tears, getting up he headed to the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

Olli sat eyes fixed on the bathroom door.

It finally opened after a few minutes and the blond came out his face freshly washed.

Olli looked at his face expecting a smile, embarrassment even…. but christian's face was blank and his gaze was focused on the floor

"Let's go home," Christian commanded and headed out the front without even glancing at Olli.


	28. Chapter 28

**CHAPTER 66 - I am PISSED OFF!**

"Leave the bike. We'll pick it up when the weather gets better." Christian said as he went out the door.

Olli quietly pulled on his jacket and coat.

Picking up his keys he headed out as well.

Christian got into his car and waited as Olli locked the cabin put the bike in the shed covered it up and locked the shed. Olli gave the lock a tug to make sure that it was fastened securely.

He got into the car beside Christian and they headed back towards their home; Olli realized after the stunt he had pulled he wasn't going to be let off easily by Charlie.

…And Gregor… he wondered how Gregor would act around him…now that everything was out in the open.

He pulled his coat tighter around himself and crossed his arms.

He stole a glance at Christian; his fiancé wore a stony expression as he drove.

He knew he deserved whatever Christian handed to him after his thoughtless behavior.

He regretted his action now, but last night running away felt like the best path of action. He had witnessed Christian's protective behavior but even then he had been listening to his flight instinct instead of staying and fighting as any other normal person would have.

He had deliberately put Christian and Charlie thru hell because he wasn't man enough to stand on his two feet and face the consequences of his stupid actions.

He went into self loathing something he hadn't given into in the past weeks since Christian proposed to him.

Christian glanced at Olli, and the expression on Olli's face made his heart plummet. Olli looked miserable worse than he did the night Christian had revealed that he had recognized him the day they had met. He wanted to pull Olli into his arms and kiss the pain away but that would have to wait Olli needed to get a good talking to from Charlie. Hopefully Charlie would be able to knock some sense into him. Running away every time things got rough wasn't healthy and would damage their relationship.

He wanted Olli with him for always, he wanted Olli to be a man he could lean on and depend on when times got tough. Was that too much to ask of the man you love and want to share the rest of your life with.

Gregor peeped into the kitchen and saw Luise standing preparing their breakfast.

He creeped up behind her and was about to put his arms around her when she suddenly hissed; "Don't you dare touch me."

She had been pissed at him since last night; and he still had no idea what he had done to deserve it.

Women! No one could understand them.

He retreated from the kitchen and sat down at the dining table.

Luise came out with his plate and mug of coffee.

She almost slammed them in front of him giving him a disgusted look making him squirm.

"Du bist ein arschloch!" she hissed then stalked off leaving him gaping at her retreating form.

"What have I done?" he demanded to know.

"Figure it out you Arschloch!" She screamed back as she slammed the milk pan n frying pan into the sink making him wince at the loud clanging noise.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 67 : You Are A Naughty Boy , Go Sit In The Corner!**

Olli was glad when they finally reached Schneider's.

Christian had maintained a stony silence on the 1 hr 15 minute drive back into the city.

Olli exited the car and braced himself for the talking to … more like verbal whoop ass …that Charlie was about to give him.

Which started as soon as he set the first step inside; a hand grabbed him by the ear and he was dragged yelping in pain through the crowded restaurant, a nice matinee show for the patrons. His embarrassment was doubled when he heard Christian's and Olivia snicker at his predicament. To add insult to injury they then high fived.

He found himself in Charlie's office and was pushed into a chair. Charlie stood in front of him hands on hips glaring down at him. Something about her this stance always turned him back into a five year old.

He looked up at her with pleading eyes. She caught his ear again and slowly twisting it hissed, "Puppy dog eyes aren't going to get you forgiveness this time Mister!"

Letting go off his ear she bent over him and got in his face, "Do you have any idea what you put US through? Running off like that into a snow storm."

"It hardly snowed ac…." He trailed off as she narrowed her eyes.

"I am sorry…" he said meekly.

Charlie straightened and turned away.

He heard her sigh and then sniff.

The office door opened and a jovial voice boomed, "I see you are home safe and sound!" as a heavy hand slapped his back.

"That wasn't very nice scaring Charlie like that, I expected better of you Oliver." Sascha sadly said to him patting his shoulder.

"Charlie you know me under pressure I always follow my flight instinct." Olli said in explanation.

Charlie turned and slapped him hard.

"THAT is the worst excuse I've ever heard!" she screeched.

Olli sat rubbing his smarting cheek.

He heard the door shut softly, and a gentle hand caressed his reddened cheek.

"Well… you totally deserved that." Christian's said kneeling down in front of him then kissed him on the cheek.

"He is not getting out of this that easily Christian! You promised you'd stay outta the way." Charlie lectured. "I've been protecting him all my life so he has been getting off the hook everytime. Not this time. This time it's gonna be different. Oliver you will have to earn forgiveness."

Oliver stared back at her, he wondered what Charlie had in mind for him.

"For starters you are grounded for a month." Charlie declared.

"G…GROUNDED!" Oliver spluttered, "What am I? TWELVE?"  
"If you act like one, you will be treated like one" Christian informed him sagely.

Charlie bit back a smile, "Christian is absolutely right."

"You two can't be serious…. How do you plan to ground a 30 year old man? I have a job and responsilbilities."

"Well simple. You will only work. No parties. No socializing. That includes events at No arrange everything. But on event nights you will remain upstairs" Christian listed and explained.

Then noticing the leery expression on Oliver's face and realizing what Oliver was thinking of doing on event nights, after a brief pause said with emphasis, "AND No _Extra-curricular activities."_

"You have gotta be kidding about the last part." Oliver responded looking up at him with a smirk and cocked an eyebrow.

"Nope … I am serious." Christian replied with an angelic winning smile.

Oliver gaped at him his too shocked to come up with a response.

Charlie though couldn't control herself and hurriedly left her office so that she could laugh at Oliver's expression as he digested that his fiance seriously intended to carry out the painful punishment.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 68 –

Olli had been sure that he would be able to break Christian's resolve but after three days he'd gotten the message when Christian started wearing draw string pyjamas when he came to bed; so that Olli couldn't slip in hand down his pants.

And he also started sleeping on his stomach so Olli couldn't do anything at all to weaken his resolve

Gregor snarled when he saw Oliver.

He wanted to really hurt Oliver.

But it seemed that everyone had gauged what he wanted to do because there was always someone around Oliver. He had still been unable to corner the man even for a second.

To add insult to injury that molester's protector was usually Luise. Why did Luise refuse to understand? She didn't even want to listen to his side.

Charlie watched Olli go about his work. He had vented to her his frustration about Christian's cruel and unusual punishment. It made her giggle which in turn made Olli give her a venomous glare after which he refused to acknowledge her presence. Frankly, she didn't give two hoots how he treated her at present. He had a fiancé and he was stable. He could ignore her for the rest of her life for all she cared as long as he was alive and happy. She may not have given birth to him but he was her baby boy and for all intents and purposes he was her son. She watched him go about his work and laugh at something that Anna said to him. She always loved to watch him laugh she could still remember the way he would laugh as a toddler when she would blow raspberries on his stomach.

Luise smiled as she watched Charlie stir her coffee and smile while watching Olli.

She envied Olli she wondered if her mother too would have watched her like this if she had still been alive.

Then she noticed Gregor come out of the back office glare at Olli and go back in. Her dear husband deserved to be hit over the head with a sauce pan. How could anyone be THAT blind?

She had, had it with his Neanderthal behavior.

He hadn't understood her subtle hints. So it was time she spelled it out for him.

Gregor harrumphed as he watched Olli wipe and stack the beer mugs back on the shelves.

If he had his way he would have used the beer mugs artistically on the canvas named Olli.

But unfortunately they weren't alone Christian was sitting at the bar reading a book and waiting to escort Olli back to their flat.

Gregor harrumphed again, then got up and headed back to his flat.

The flat was dark when he quietly crept in.

Good Luise was asleep.

But he thanked his stars too soon b'coz as soon as he shut the door the room was bathed with light from the table lamp; which Luise had lit.

"I have been waiting for you." she said ominously.

"Luise… you haven't gone to sleep yet?." He asked sheepishly.

"WE need to TALK," she declared patting the place beside her on the sofa.

He hated those four words. They always meant trouble; but he couldn't refuse as this was the first time in 5 days that Luise was actually talking to him instead of just snapping at him.

He sat down, leaned back, crossed his arms and fastening his gaze on the coffee table huffed, "Okay, lets talk"

"LOOK at me!" his wife commanded.

Gregor's head instantly turned 90 degrees to look directly at his wife.

She may have given up her title but there was something so aristocratic about her that when she commanded you could do nothing but obey her.

"Now that I have your undivided attention …Gregor when will you forgive Olli?"

"NEVER", he growled.

"Then I should inform you that you will end up losing your brother in the process."

"Christian would never…"

"Put yourself in Christian's shoes" Luise interrupted. "You love someone deeply but your brother has taken an intense dislike to that person, your brother hates the person you love and even wants to hurt him. What will you do? Give up your soulmate who loves you just as much or cut ties with your pigheaded brother who wants to harm the love of your life?"

"Olli doesn't deserve Christian. Christian is so much better than him. How can Christian even bear to be with him, after what he did to him so many years ago."

"Did Christian actually say that Olli forced himself on him."

"No… but Olli drugged him."

"Does Christian remember what happened that night?"

"Yes,… it was his first time." Gregor replied uncomfortably.

"And was he traumatized by it."

"Yes…he was scared that he might have contracted AIDS."

"Okay, but I mean the act itself…Was he put off men? Did he become scared of intimacy?"

Gregor thought for a moment, "No, he went away to college and had boyfriends. No, he wasn't traumatized by it. "

"What does that tell you? What do you think Christian feels about the Olli he met so many years ago."

"Florian." Gregor mumbled.

"What?"

"Christian knew him as Florian then."

"Okay, FLORIAN, what do you think Christian feels about his time with Florian? When you get that answer you will realize what your brother feels for Olli."

"Think about it Gregor, really think about it. I'm going to sleep now." She said kissing his cheek, "come to bed when you've made an actual sane decision. I want my husband back. I do not like this guy at all, please make my husband come back to me soon. Tomorrow morning itself if possible."

She turned out the light and headed into their bedroom.

Gregor sat in the moonlight bathed room

He thought back to the day when he received the medical reports from the clinic and confronted Christian.

Christian had confessed and the kid was scared, but Christian had been scared of him, scared of his reaction to the revelation of his homosexuality not of Florian.

He had actually been pissed at the lie that Gregor had told Florian's room mate.

Christian had been depressed not traumatized in the weeks that followed.

He had even screamed at him that because of his lie most probably Florian wasn't contacting him anymore

His brother had been depressed that his summer romance had ended. His first love had suddenly disappeared after they had sex.

Which made Gregor twinge because he too used to be that guy who would sleep with girls once and then never call them. And there were times that he used recreational drugs to intensify the experience.

Come to think of it when it came down to it Olli looked like a saint when compared to himself. Gregor suddenly felt very small.

Olli had been in a bad place but then had turned his life a full 180 something that required a strength that very few people possess.

He finally got up and dragged himself to bed. He crawled under the cover snuggling into his very smart wife who patted his head in her sleep.


End file.
